competitor

how do you define a competitor? do you fight nit and grit with your competitor. how one treats your competitor speaks a lot about the person.

i used to have one. to be exact, a classmate. this classmate of mine was kiasu at that time. me too. i admit. i don't like to lose. especially academically. criticise me for my foolishness during my youth but the only benchmark i ever know is the number of As out there; hence my race to get many As. it is not only the the number of As is important, the quality of A you have over your friends are important too. consider it something like relative comparison and absolute achievement.

it's nice to see many of these in your performance report card. one thing for sure, no question from parents.

there a few outstanding students in class, but you yourself know which one is your closest competitor. this one must have similar strengths as yours. whenever you did not do so well, you expected the same goes to that person. true enough. but later on, i noticed that our competitive advantage had diversified. my competitor more so in science and mathematics and yours truly am the language and artsy student. i grew to like the language subjects and with the exception to one science subject: biology.

the reason i wrote it down because i used to hang on to the thinking that, if i did well and my competitor did well. there is nothing to be proud off. that means, we were just performing with our normal selves but if you scored well and competitor did not, you felt proud.

after joining university, i no longer held such a view any longer. i begin to think what should i do to make myself marketable and yet happy doing it at the same time. i no longer had as much relative comparison. yea, it's nice occasionally to score high marks. it makes me sweeter if the subject is your favourite. humans... we can't stop comparing. but is there really a point to keep comparing. everyone wants different experience in life.

note to my past competitor: thank you. it has one hell of a race. i am glad that we have known each other. knowing you gives me the drive to do better. whatever the result is, as long as we have fought hard, the battle is already half won.

blogger currently listening to ♫ fish leong - ting bu dao

the humble pie

as days pass, i begin to understand what my mum used to tell me. when she said it last time, it sounded like illogical statements. not meant her to be crazy, i just could not understand her perspective.

for one, i slowly begin to understand what she meant, "how much one wears and eats in this life has been determined." at that particular moment, yeah right. if one doesn't work hard, there is nothing to wear and eat anyway. when i started working, i slowly see what she meant. even if you work hard and smart, if opportunity doesn't knock, you are nothing. if your meant to be successful, everything will come naturally. of course you will say it requires hard work as well. but who is not working hard? when you notice some people who are well off to do, you begin to compare, what a nice life to have. and then it will make you feel inadequate. from here, i learn that i am being discontented. what my mum gives is not so much in material wealth, she gives me in terms of principles in life and advice on how to handle things.

a store should sell humble pie and the eater should become instantly humble. that will be awesome

she wants me to be a critical thinker. she said don't trust your friends 100%, leave some for your own to think about. when you are in your teenage years, all you listen is your friends. i for one, learn to do things slightly differently because i choose to think for myself. well, i would say, i become a happier person because i think before i do. this has been a great advice i always cherish.

when she did mention how successful her friends' children are, i know she didn't mean to compare. because she already believe the adage of , "how much one wears and eats in this life has been determined." i think she just want to tell me, it's nice to have such comfortable things at life.

yes, mum. i do know what you meant by that. i will always remember what you said.

blogger begins to feel he is much more an adult than he used to be and glad to be at a phase when he can understand what those elderly always say. thank you for this enlightenment.