Do you remember one of my resolutions being joining of one of the clubs to get myself involved in activity? If you are nodding, I have finally taken my first step. I decide to join Sydney University United Nations Society. First of all, it sounds cool. Haha... Yup, it really does. Since high school, I have kept reading about United Nations but I do not really have an idea what it is about. So, since one of my friends introduced to me last year, my interest is piqued. Hehe...
Hopefully, I will be able to learn something new from this organisation rather spending my time on unnecessary stuff being the second reason. While browsing through the pamphlet, I came across about an event AMUNC which stands for Asia Pacific Model United Nations Conference. And this year, the event will be held in Sydney. Yeah! Lucky me. I am so surprised. Such luck! Weeeee..... Here I come. This society generally discusses issues on legal,economic,humnitarian and environmental. Hmmmm.... Sounded meaningful. I will be glad to be part of it. Fingers crossing.
Blogger feels so right joining this society =)
Monday, 1 March 2010
Sunday, 28 February 2010
The chat
Back to my favourite topic: chit chatting. I am a person who loves to chat until people thought I am very busybody. But, the problem is hor, I am not being a kepoh le, this is known as concern. And I don't stab your back okay? Because I think doing that will be sinful. Can't sleep at night. So, if someone were to tell me another person's bad habit,bahaviour and piak(I love to say this), I normally just absorb as it is. I won't say anything out because I know it has nothing to do with me.
I believe the bad experience you have is only your own but not for others. Like let say a friend has been treating another one badly but treat you good. How would you take it? Stick to your friend, sympathize the badly treated or just act nothing happened? This is so called life. You need to make a decision to move on. I think I will just act nothing happened but be careful at the same time. As everyone has his own "li zhang" (perspective is the closest I can think of), everyone handles it differently. So, I can understand why certain people stick to your friend knowing that in mind, because it is none of your business.
True you know, that's why lar I always don't have much friends. To make things simpler. Stick to your friend and pray that I don't know the badly treated ones. Makes life a little easier so as to speak.
Also, smaller group of friends actually makes me more comfortable. I feel awkward in big groups. I will rather talk to my friends often and hang out with them than having a big fake friends. No point. You will end up using each other. Too fake la, people. Just be yourself. The least comfort you get will be you can get a good night sleep. No need to think of hurting anyone. But how do you fake actually?
My friend used to say," Chee seng, it is a must you know? Very important in the society later on" I was like ....... Okay. Saying okay doesn't mean condoning right? However, I am impressed with people who can fake. So well concealed I feel disgusted. The worst is I can't tell anyone. =@$%#(&^*!!!!
Because it is just not me. Want to say also must pretend not the person did one. SO hard right to be human? That's why lor, mummy. She asked me, "Sometimes ar, when you are good with your friends, you can be very good but when you are very bad, you are so bad until you can be rude. Can change or not?" I say of course not!
Why must I change for things I believe in. It is not logical you know. Of course I don't tell my mum about those fake people. Scared she will get worried. I just say, "Just let me handle my own thing" Right people? Be yourself is the way to live.
And one more thing I must make it clear. I don't share stories that I promised not to tell. Never okay! I will generalize but you shall not know who I mention. Stop korek rahsia. So, we are basically living in a world full of secrets,lies and fake characters. Beware of who you are speaking to, might be the one who stab your back and you will not even know he/she is doing it. I got it once but I learn my lesson well. Yes, very well indeed.
Blogger on the day he feels that world seems a better place for children: naive, honest and being for who they believe in. Envious but too late. He already passed that too long ago.
I believe the bad experience you have is only your own but not for others. Like let say a friend has been treating another one badly but treat you good. How would you take it? Stick to your friend, sympathize the badly treated or just act nothing happened? This is so called life. You need to make a decision to move on. I think I will just act nothing happened but be careful at the same time. As everyone has his own "li zhang" (perspective is the closest I can think of), everyone handles it differently. So, I can understand why certain people stick to your friend knowing that in mind, because it is none of your business.
True you know, that's why lar I always don't have much friends. To make things simpler. Stick to your friend and pray that I don't know the badly treated ones. Makes life a little easier so as to speak.
Also, smaller group of friends actually makes me more comfortable. I feel awkward in big groups. I will rather talk to my friends often and hang out with them than having a big fake friends. No point. You will end up using each other. Too fake la, people. Just be yourself. The least comfort you get will be you can get a good night sleep. No need to think of hurting anyone. But how do you fake actually?
My friend used to say," Chee seng, it is a must you know? Very important in the society later on" I was like ....... Okay. Saying okay doesn't mean condoning right? However, I am impressed with people who can fake. So well concealed I feel disgusted. The worst is I can't tell anyone. =@$%#(&^*!!!!
Because it is just not me. Want to say also must pretend not the person did one. SO hard right to be human? That's why lor, mummy. She asked me, "Sometimes ar, when you are good with your friends, you can be very good but when you are very bad, you are so bad until you can be rude. Can change or not?" I say of course not!
Why must I change for things I believe in. It is not logical you know. Of course I don't tell my mum about those fake people. Scared she will get worried. I just say, "Just let me handle my own thing" Right people? Be yourself is the way to live.
And one more thing I must make it clear. I don't share stories that I promised not to tell. Never okay! I will generalize but you shall not know who I mention. Stop korek rahsia. So, we are basically living in a world full of secrets,lies and fake characters. Beware of who you are speaking to, might be the one who stab your back and you will not even know he/she is doing it. I got it once but I learn my lesson well. Yes, very well indeed.
Blogger on the day he feels that world seems a better place for children: naive, honest and being for who they believe in. Envious but too late. He already passed that too long ago.
Friday, 26 February 2010
R.I.P.
Just a moment ago, I received a sms from my sister. For dunno what reason, must be my phone's battery went off. My grandpa has passed away. I cannot help to feel it is just a day ago which I still saw him lying there. Now he is gone. And he still remembered me when I was not around. Rest in peace. You shall be remembered.
Love,
Ah Tik
Love,
Ah Tik
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
Connecting the dots
Considering the memories are still fresh now, might as well write it down before I forget about it. I just chatted with my old besty from secondary school. At first, I thought we are just going for yum cha. And it turned to be my own world record has been broken. Yum cha until I reached 5am at home. Kena "niao" by my mum. Bangga kan?
But the thing is I am glad I have this chat with this friend of mine. It brings back the moment I don't have to hold back anything and just spill out everything. I never feel this good telling story to other before. Maybe, I yearn for recognition that majority of people cannot understand and coincidentally, this friend of mine said, "Anoh, anoh" People will think we are so weird but in fact, this is the reality we really have to handle.
What I consider normal to others are so incomprehensible that you eventually give up convincing others. If I tell the truth, I sometimes do feel the story sounds so surreal that it is actually happening to me. Thank god the worst has gone but the present seems bleak too.
And my my, the conversation has suddenly reversed back to the same old topic again "love and relationship". And to be completely honest with you, it caught me completely off guard what my friend has to tell me. Now, the stories revolving my friends suddenly make sense. I always hear a bit here and there. Suddenly the whole compilation of stories send me chill. I feel so naive and stupid to take stories that people tell me at face value. Then, I found out I have sinned myself. Oh my god. I have convinced a few friends of mine that the good boy is actually a bad lover. @#$% this! I feel so terribly guilty. I vow to myself not to judge the book by its cover anymore.
I learn that if more than one person tells you the story, that does not make it a fact. Just say I have an insider source that I trust 99.9%. It happened to be the boy is a gentleman. Though the thing I said about him is true, the fact remains that the cause of his action is the other's wrongdoing. Hell.... I slept 6am feeling so guilty. And it isn't about a story, there a few more to go just that I feel that there is no more need to tell. I need to say something but I can't.
I am afraid such revelations may cause people to argue and bu suang with each other. That's why I said "people I know seem to be strangers". Really, what I am saying is an understatement. I hope I never hear about this and the fact is I did.
Knowing doesn't mean you are right. Sometimes, I love the phrase which can sum up my feeling for now "Ignorance is really a bliss"
But the thing is I am glad I have this chat with this friend of mine. It brings back the moment I don't have to hold back anything and just spill out everything. I never feel this good telling story to other before. Maybe, I yearn for recognition that majority of people cannot understand and coincidentally, this friend of mine said, "Anoh, anoh" People will think we are so weird but in fact, this is the reality we really have to handle.
What I consider normal to others are so incomprehensible that you eventually give up convincing others. If I tell the truth, I sometimes do feel the story sounds so surreal that it is actually happening to me. Thank god the worst has gone but the present seems bleak too.
And my my, the conversation has suddenly reversed back to the same old topic again "love and relationship". And to be completely honest with you, it caught me completely off guard what my friend has to tell me. Now, the stories revolving my friends suddenly make sense. I always hear a bit here and there. Suddenly the whole compilation of stories send me chill. I feel so naive and stupid to take stories that people tell me at face value. Then, I found out I have sinned myself. Oh my god. I have convinced a few friends of mine that the good boy is actually a bad lover. @#$% this! I feel so terribly guilty. I vow to myself not to judge the book by its cover anymore.
I learn that if more than one person tells you the story, that does not make it a fact. Just say I have an insider source that I trust 99.9%. It happened to be the boy is a gentleman. Though the thing I said about him is true, the fact remains that the cause of his action is the other's wrongdoing. Hell.... I slept 6am feeling so guilty. And it isn't about a story, there a few more to go just that I feel that there is no more need to tell. I need to say something but I can't.
I am afraid such revelations may cause people to argue and bu suang with each other. That's why I said "people I know seem to be strangers". Really, what I am saying is an understatement. I hope I never hear about this and the fact is I did.
Knowing doesn't mean you are right. Sometimes, I love the phrase which can sum up my feeling for now "Ignorance is really a bliss"
Monday, 22 February 2010
If only.....
If only I am a problem solver for others. But in reality, I am just like everyone else, the imperfect soul searching for the perfect solution. At the age of 20 which doesn't sound a lot, I hope I can be a better person by helping others while moving forward at the same time. However, if only the world revolves around people without problems, will it feel the same? The answer seems rather obvious without me giving it.
The recent incidence of me having to listen to others problems gave me a self reflection. I am not really a problem solver at all. Honestly, I can cheer you up in matter of minutes but I can never give you real advice. Sorry to my friends who are having love problems. I do not really how it feels like so the thought of giving you advice seems ridiculous even to myself. But one thing I promise you is that I can be a very good listener. I don't tell and I don't share love problems as I know they are very personal to the two persons involved.
It does send me chill at times. With almost all my friends had fallen in love, it does sound a bit odd to be single. The loner... Haha. Not loner la, it is affectionately known as unique and distinctive ok? I just don't feel like falling in love right now. I think there is one Miss Right there but too shy to ask. Oppsss.... Don't ask okay? Maybe, I feel to scare to be rejected or the relationship might fail. Others might say you never try, how will you know. Well, it can be a risk I am willing to take. I am very stubborn to believe in if the person is destined to be crossing your path, eventually it will. And my friend, Drew said, "What if the paths never cross?" Dumbfounded. Then, she is not the one. =)
I don't know what to do and how to feel the feeling of loving and being in love. Such simple letters but so hard to decipher. I don't find the joy in having a company as a reason to be in loved, right right?
Wait a minute, actually this blog isn't supposed to be about me but my friend. He is dwelling in the past that he cannot forget. The reminiscence of the past gives him such an ache that I think has affected him badly emotionally. He appears okay around others, but somehow I don't believe the mirror he upholds in front of him. The least the mirror does is to give him momentary happiness and joy. I like to see his laughters and smiles because I know they are hard to come by. What should I say? Things will be over soon, only time will tell or you have hope? I am not in the best position to say such a thing. Just wish him the true happiness that he deserves. Smile and laugh more my friend. Even it feels painful, only time will heal your heart....
If only love tastes like mocha, a mixture of sweetness and bitter. For some, they only taste sweet, others only taste bitter and for me I taste a little bit of both. Perfect, just the way I want it to be.
The recent incidence of me having to listen to others problems gave me a self reflection. I am not really a problem solver at all. Honestly, I can cheer you up in matter of minutes but I can never give you real advice. Sorry to my friends who are having love problems. I do not really how it feels like so the thought of giving you advice seems ridiculous even to myself. But one thing I promise you is that I can be a very good listener. I don't tell and I don't share love problems as I know they are very personal to the two persons involved.
It does send me chill at times. With almost all my friends had fallen in love, it does sound a bit odd to be single. The loner... Haha. Not loner la, it is affectionately known as unique and distinctive ok? I just don't feel like falling in love right now. I think there is one Miss Right there but too shy to ask. Oppsss.... Don't ask okay? Maybe, I feel to scare to be rejected or the relationship might fail. Others might say you never try, how will you know. Well, it can be a risk I am willing to take. I am very stubborn to believe in if the person is destined to be crossing your path, eventually it will. And my friend, Drew said, "What if the paths never cross?" Dumbfounded. Then, she is not the one. =)
I don't know what to do and how to feel the feeling of loving and being in love. Such simple letters but so hard to decipher. I don't find the joy in having a company as a reason to be in loved, right right?
Wait a minute, actually this blog isn't supposed to be about me but my friend. He is dwelling in the past that he cannot forget. The reminiscence of the past gives him such an ache that I think has affected him badly emotionally. He appears okay around others, but somehow I don't believe the mirror he upholds in front of him. The least the mirror does is to give him momentary happiness and joy. I like to see his laughters and smiles because I know they are hard to come by. What should I say? Things will be over soon, only time will tell or you have hope? I am not in the best position to say such a thing. Just wish him the true happiness that he deserves. Smile and laugh more my friend. Even it feels painful, only time will heal your heart....
If only love tastes like mocha, a mixture of sweetness and bitter. For some, they only taste sweet, others only taste bitter and for me I taste a little bit of both. Perfect, just the way I want it to be.
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