it has been a while

...since the last time i wrote on my blog. part of that is due to my internship programme, my occasional hang out time with friends and family. today is actually quite a very memorable one. as the new beach has been constructed, my family decided to take a stroll there to enjoy the night chilling breeze. it was very peaceful and fun. plus there is a lot of stars in the sky. come to think of it, it is not always the scenery that makes one person's life more enriching. soimetimes, it can be attributed to the people you are with. years of studying abroad teach me that. also, do not always listen to others' stories. you may refer to them but do not take them as they are.
   there is always a flip side of the coin. look it, study it and only decide for your own. i am actually a person who seldom listens to others but the funny thing about me is that i like asking stories and experiences of others. part of me love hearing stories because i get used to it listening them from my late grandparents. story telling is such a fun activity if the storyteller is great. if not, disaster comes. =)
   more often than not, i will think of the peace and quiet times i had in sydney. i am beginning to adapt to lifestyle of being independent and alone. i dun feel insecured anymore. in fact, i love the only-me time. it is weird yet it is calm. i love the calm life.

blogger who has just came back after watching tonnes of stars in his hometown. and the only word for it: awesome.  

the unexpected letter

when i was tidying my room yesterday afternoon, the thought of finding a letter from university is totally unexpected. opening up the letter, the thought of the usual reminder to enrol and update correspondence address crosses my mind. further read proves otherwise. it is actually a congratulatory letter from my associate dean. hohoho... the letter stated that i did quite well in one of the papers i did for 2010 first semester. i scored third. kind of happy to know that i did good for my first time in uni times.

when i enquired my mum about it, they said the letter was probably sent two months ago but nobody remembered to tell me =.= fine. at least i know now. this semester results are worse than ever. dun mention. no distinction. it is freaking hard actually. i reckon sydney university is trying to fail all of the students in order for students to repeat so that they can earn more money. ohh well, i am not really bothered by my results anymore because i have already done my best anyway.

today is my first day as a vacation trainee. so boring. a better way of expression is relaxing. as this is my first week, my job schedule is not released yet, hence, i spent my whole day reading the newspapers. my colleagues are quite nice too but there is this guy who likes to compliment himself frequently. can i suggest him to look at himself at the mirror? better dun, should maintain my image. bear with it chee seng, it is only 3 months anyway. besides, he only boast around the girls so, i am perfectly safe. in order to kill my boredom, i plan to bring my own laptop to office this wednesday and listen to songs. =)

it feels like home when.......

I always feel like I am home when I am so busy everyday and my 24 hours are never enough for everyday. My usual routine would be a brekkie with family then go shopping and come back. Then, it goes on to running family endless family errands and by the time I manage to catch my breath, it is time for dinner. After my dinner, my eyes would be so sleepy that I would jump into my bed. This routine is a good routine. How nice but I know I would get bored soon. Fortunately, I am starting to work this coming Monday. Wish me luck. Hope I can gain a lot of experience, know a lot of good friends and learn a lot of things that will be useful in life.

Although this is my first baby step in joining the corporate world, I hope I will not be too overwhelmed by it. And thanx a lot to friends who told me a few tips on survival as an intern.

Yesterday, I met up with old friends at a cafe. Kinda nice to meet old faces, it brings back the familiarity sense of belonging. One friend particularly talked so much until when the cafe was about to close, I did not realise it at all. Good thing. Hope to meet up again. And best of luck to Miss Low. She is heading back to city of Merlion soon so must ask her to jaga diri baik baik. And Mr Khaw, free must ajak me keluar. Why yesterday didn't bring camera? Were you scared I will tease you? Don't worry, I will give you facey one.

Blogger is finally home =)

when an act becomes a norm

it is amusing to me these days that for every group of friends, there is definitely one who will hold a camera. just when i dined out yesterday, i saw this person who kept taking photos of his friends using his DSLR. initially, i thought photo taking seems to be just a fad. however, the continuous sights of such an occasion seems to suggest that it has become a norm. to me, this culture is quite annoying. i understand for a fact if the picture is taken with the intention to guide a friend how to get there if he wants to go there or just want to keep it as memorabilia but i think people nowadays are doing it for the sake of doing it. what is the purpose of keep taking hundreds of pictures of your friends at the same spot? i wonder.......

i do admit that at first, it seems exciting to try something new, but now, i feel irritated. that's the reason i seldom bring my camera out anymore. for one, i know that a friend would definitely take it. for two, it is troublesome. a further thinking digs deeper and i see the trend that mostly asians would be very likely to hold a digital cam. is it only specific to asians who like to take pictures wherever they go. why can't we just have a good view and relax.   this is something i would really want to know.

blogger in the city of perth and out of boredom, decides to blog rather than camwhore using his own digital cam.

M

M actually stands for the topics I would bring up which are music and makeover.

As holidays rolls in, the search for good music continues as usual. Then, while watching Guess guess guess K歌王, I was drawn to some songs being sung by the celebrities. Wheee.... I went berserk and searched for the music to download them. As usual, I encountered some difficulties in looking for them because the best I can do is to type the han yu pinyin only. What a sad case (I know). Nevertheless, I like to do that because listening to those songs are jolt-shocking to the spine. I came across this song "男人不該讓女人流淚" by the original singer Wiliam So but I found out later that a few singers who sang his song, did better than him. Pity him, if I were him, I will feel like it is a slap on the face. One particular artist who re-sing the song in another version is Jam Hsiao. I like his husky voice which is very rock and roll yet strong.


Also, the subject of makeover was brought up last week by a friend. She asked me to fix myself with contact lenses. Hmmmmm.... Should I? I was tempted last time but sister brushed it off saying it will be too troublesome. I might and might not. Depends how it goes because I really would like to do new stuff. I am always very cincai with my appearance. But since I will be working soon, the thought did crop up again. Yes, would love to try for once. In addition, I would love to change my wardrobe too if I have handy cash. Let's see how things go. Wish me luck.

one more to go, let's go

when i took the corporate finance 2 exam today, i felt my blood was gushing to the brain. intense pressure. fortunately the exam is not as hard as I thought it would be. it is of combinations of hard and adequate difficulty questions. that is a huge relief because today is the first time in my university time that i woke up 630am to revise.

thank god. due to this really huge relief, i have apparently forgotten that i still have another paper on thursday. i watched dramas for the whole night up till now. let's pray for another easy exam on thursday, at least the question i know how to do. it would help me to boost my certainty to remain in accounting profession. recently, i was wondering should i step into the banking sector. the monetary reward looks enticing and a friend told me investment bank would only accept new employee at the maximum age of 25. after that, you are unlikely to get in because it is a very demanding job. hmmm.... probably. let's see how life goes

i believe everyone has his own destiny to follow. it is just a matter of time that everything falls into place. but one does have to work hard. success does not just fall from the sky. it comes with work, perseverance and at times, with a little bit of luck. =)

i am going for internship soon. weeee... kinda looking forward to it. finally getting experience as an office job, not the plain salesperson anymore. i have upgraded myself. hehe. look out, people, here comes me to rock you.

over optimistic

reading the news today is kinda shocking, hilarious and sad at the same time. first, shocking for the reason that i always thought singaporean economy is actually bigger than malaysia but is projected to surpass us this year if the figures predicted came true. hilarious for seeing the fantastic UPSR results. i can give you a reason for this: ELECTION is coming. sad for the cause of people who always have reason for every poor performance and never admit own's mistake. there is this infamous ex political figure who keeps blowing the racial slurs indirectly. i think people are wise enough to sense the motive of his own action. he is trying super hard to ensure that all he had done are right and nothing is wrong.

i shall not say name because u know who he is. he commented that singaporean economy is going to surpass malaysia for the reason singapore does not have any distribution social restructuring policy in place. funny... i am so ashamed on his behalf because he used to be someone whom i think has intelligence and charisma. shame on you. do you think that if our neighbouring country takes the same policy stance as us, they will be where they are today? of course not. stop fooling people around you.

 i have this wild imagination. what if he is trying to be the opposite figure so that everyone will react in the opposite direction of what he intended. but the more i see, i think the possibility is probably nil by now. do you know that the most intelligent person sometimes is the one most unlikely to admit own mistake. ponder awhile, people. you did not need far-fetched thought to come to this conclusion. and by seeing things from another perspective, you have stepped into the world of critical thinking.

and the UPSR results are making me laugh louder. are you trying to make every parent so happy to give them a sense of comfort that our education system is solid and well built. hmmm, no wonder the university's ranking is dropping. i wonder why. people like to be in a state of denial. Come on, 10% straight A's is a little too dramatic. even if i am one of the students, i will question my credibility and competence. it seems everyone has straight A's and the slip worth 0. after all, aren't you supposed to distinguished the very best from the goods. hell no, malaysia likes to make everyone equal. why not try communism for once like china did. then i think everyone will feel more at peace for knowing that everyone is just same like everyone.

blogger is laughing, frustrated and sad at the same time. time to move on, these news are actually within my expectations, just that the boundary has been pulled further.

yeaaa glee!!!!

i was cooking when i suddenly remembered today glee episode is being aired. yes! i love this week's song. i am all crazy about glee now. get off, GG, you are no longer loved. here comes glee. And I would like to make this symbol next time i take a pic. looks cool.

and also the favourite song of this episode would be song sang by kate perry i think. =)



blogger feeling musical

the story of a pangolin

it comes as a wonder then the subject of pangolin comes into view in the papers. i was wondering, "what is a pangolin?" i click into the page and saw the picture. aha! i never see that animal before. no wonder i don't know what it is. i heard of it before in primary school years.

it is actually known as tenggiling in bahasa melayu. a humble side of me arises for this animal exists in malaysia and yet, i did not take initiative to know the animal better. actually this tenggiling looks like the animal i saw before in the cartoon pokemon. haha.... it is known as sandshrew. OMG! i know a cartoon better than a real life animal. the fault should not be mine. i blame the education government for not introducing conservation programs which allow students to explore the wonder of nature. how nice it would be right, instead of memorising the kajian tempatan and moral values. what is the point, you tiao me?

recently, there is a trend among friends, not a lot, only two actually. a boy and a girl from penang. haha, quite obvious who they are once they read this. I almost laugh hysterically as I think the word 'tiao' is rather obscene but both of them INSIST they are different from the real expletive word in hokkien. Fine! I should use it as well to blend in with my good friends.

the image of tenggiling and landak are actually the same to me.... since the cartoon character shown that once the it evolves, it comes with thorns. how false is that. i am deceived by a cartoon character. now i know. hedgehog and pangolin are two separate animals. it is not too late to learn i guess. the awareness that comes with it is rather useful too. there is a chinese proverb something like "jing ding zhi wa" or katak di bawah tempurung. anyone knows the english proverb for them? please share.

blogger feels prouder for the fact he knows another animal which breathes in his motherland.

the life of newspapers

is the age of newspapers finally coming to an end? as i find it boring to be browsing through the newspapers, might as well read a magazine which i find informative. one of the article entitles, how to save our newspapers. it writes about the survival of American newspapers agencies are hanging on a thread. this is because there is an increasing number of readers who read online. isn't it a good thing that readers are reading? but the problem is readers are not paying while reading online. four centuries ago till recently, revenues of newspapers commonly come from subscription, news stand and advertising. however, the trend is changing, increasing number of readers is resorting to online papers which they can read for free.

hmmm...i am too one of the online reader. that is enough to qualify me to comment on this trend. accordingly, when online newspapers started, they took the move of allowing readers to read for free but once you start charging for access, people might be reluctant to do so. hence, the american agencies are searching for new business models to ensure survival in the long term. the co-founder of time also emphasises that over dependence on advertising revenue might have an impact on the objectivity of the writers. this can be interpreted as an insult to the journalism profession which focuses on integrity, objectivity instead of profit seeking. well, well, hopefully my much beloved newspapers do not fall into default category. after all, newspapers is one of my source of entertainment.

but no worries, another article has published that while american and european counterparts are facing increasing difficulty in sustaining themselves, the other side of the world seems to be enjoying huge successes. asian news agency seems to be doing rather well. one could say every cloud has a silver lining. while asian citizens face huge problems of internet connectivity and telecommunications infrastructure, these provide some sort of buffer to the newspapers industry. and asians also prefer the feel of reading newspapers every morning while sipping their favourite coffee.....how true is that. i used to wake up early Sunday morning to read The Star papers. Now, i am finding things to do on  a sunday. Maybe, it seems that while western countries are suffering in so many ways, asian are actually booming. this is what chinese always call, "feng shui lun liu zhuan". i think western citizens have been doing so well that they have forgotten to appreciate the good life that they always have. time for the asian economies to lead the world, hopefully nothing comes that screw the whole thing up.

for me, the touch of the newspapers is quite memorable. although the newspapers makes your fingers stain with black marks, it is the sign of the simple pleasure that you get. in a month's time, i will be enjoying simple pleasure again. so looking forward to it. Hopefully time can just fly to december without going through november. december, my favourite month of the year. there is Christmas to begin with.... =)

abnormalities

it is most probably the exams that are causing me to have such abnormalities. i have short attention span and currently i am having insomnia when i wish to sleep but i find myself still very active on the net.

it is quite frustrating at times. i dunno why, i think i must have internet addiction syndrome. maybe it is not as bad as i think it is. ok, time to sleep. ciao.

similarity

it is fun to go blogwalking. due to this reason, i found a blog which writes about the life of a cat. the cat is actually the blogger but he is depicting himself as a cat called miao. quite funny at times. i have temporarily forgotten how i found his blog. luckily i did save his blog list. and i am now addicted to his comical way of describing his everyday's life.

also my most recent addiction is manga. omg. it is supposed to be the love for books, not manga. haihhh.... whatever. i did study, just a rate which i find ridiculously slow. a chapter a day =.= okay, tomorrow i am going to work hard.

i found a blogger who likes christmas than chinese new year, same as me. the person accurately points out the difference. cny is just a bit too loud. i agree. i used to like cny songs but over the years, christmas songs have taken over my liking. sorry.... dun worry, i still enjoy cny because the extra cash is helpful.... hopefully everyday is cny for that particular matter. this year i dun think will be celebrating christmas though and next year's cny too. will be quiet times at home. still, at least i still can go mamak hang out, not really aso. just knew that only a few friends will be back when i am around. actually, dun feel like going back home but i dun feel like staying here either. at least back home can immerse myself with the comfort of food and i think my mum misses me terribly. haha.... that's what my aunt said anyway. my muka tak tebal one ok.

gambateh to me!

of different class

it is unique at times to see that since there are so many people around the world, you cannot seem to find an identical person who has the same everything with you. this makes the world special. it gives us the opportunity to know others.

while browsing through others' blogs, i came across some interesting and meaningful quotes here and there. some says life should not be about studies, some says life is about the joy in the ride, it is not the destination that matters and some just laments about life. when you go blogwalking ( a term i just learned myself), you get to see a glimpse of the person. in my humble opinion, a blog depicts a lot. the person's personality, style and feelings. one may argue, i can change my blog according to my liking, yet, will you be really willing to do it unless it is a liking of yours. probably not.

some blogs are of different class. their descriptions are such detailed yet intriguing in a sense. their words play with the element of creativity and sentimental value. i love reading the blog with class, not to say i dislike reading ordinary blogs. these blogs give you a zing to be better yourself and i find it really inspiring and motivated to be a better blogger and person myself. i always believe that a person's honesty is revealed when he has no audience, only then i learn about him.

blogger who finds another light in life...

Harvard

In my quest of killing the boredom, I browse aimlessly from magazine to website to search for some interesting reading materials. Fortunately, I found one in the Times Magazine. The article entitles, "Who needs harvard?". A catchy title often entices me to read further. Well, it seems there is trend of increasing applicants to get into Ivy League school. To be honest, Ivy League school never once cross my mind mainly because I think the dream is simply unachievable, my academics and co curricular aren't that outstanding and probably financial issue. However, the article states that the world is changing. It used to be networking in the well known university forms the initial step to get you through your working life. However, the current trend seems to suggest otherwise. The new jobs created nowadays are not available previously. Hence, one cannot depend on networking to get you further anymore.

Surprisingly, many students still cling on to this perception. Hence, a few interviews with students who decided to choose other universities instead of Ivy League-status schools are held. Throughout the interviews, some comments suggest that being in less famous schools allow you to get more attention from the teaching staff. Besides, one has more chances of succeeding in carrying out research and getting your research published as there are more resources to help you. I think it is quite true towards certain extent. I will not go very far but through my experience when studying in University of Sydney. It is true that the university holds a lot of job career event, job fairs and even holds workshop to enhance your interview skills but I still think more things can be done to help students, especially international students. More often than not, students are left on the lurch of surviving on their own. I think somehow, the University just want to achieve higher job rate after graduation rather than enhancing the quality and successful graduates.

My aunt did ask about my course about some on hand experience after graduation and I said my university provides none. You are left to search for your own way to survive. Luckily, I met some very nice seniors who are willing to share their stories and experience with me. In this way, I hope I will survive too in times to come. Putting this aside, the Ivy League schools also charge around 30k per year fees. I was like, "Wow". Education has grown into money leeching industry. What happens to the education subsidy, study grants and despite of not being taxed, the costs of higher education is increasing at an increasing rate.

I only can put my hope that Malaysia starts to develop world class university too. I want to see every Malaysian has the chance to pursue higher education and of course with the emphasis of merit, creativity and innovation in mind. It is not that we are left out already which is the problem, it is that we are falling behind every year. I think the costs of higher education in Malaysia is reasonable, just that I often heard bad quality teaching staff. Maybe one day, they should hire me when I am experienced enough. Haha!!! AND I DEMAND HIGH SALARY PLEASE. The notion of teaching union is very impressive to me. At least, the teaching staff gets the chance to voice out and teaching union in my university is very strong. Up to now, I have heard two proposed strikes and both of them are settled through amicable solutions.

The privileges of doing more research, less teaching and higher salaries are gained. Good stuff. I dislike the current proceedings in Malaysia. Any strike is deemed bad, authority challenging, loss of power and associated with negativity. It should be viewed as a healthy way of voicing out, not like everyone is killing each other. Perhaps, it is the Asian mentally is at fault. "I dun wanna create problem." Wake up, my fellow friends, if you do not voice out, nobody knows what are your problems. Talk and negotiate PROFESSIONALLY and please do not include personal opinion, race issue and hate-talk in it. Some unscrupulous parties tend to use own agenda to gain publicity. What the heck, so uncivilized.

But, I still will love it very much to see my home country universities to grow and develop, just in case I wish to pursue Masters or Phd in the future (oh no, self interest). But, good education benefits everyone. As the economic theory says, education has various overflowing beneficial effects on the society. One particularly important to Malaysia is civilization. People's minds need to open up more and be ready to accept challenges. If you don't, you will lose out and say bye bye to the world. All in all, I still love my university. Partly, it because it has a beautiful landscape, partly due to the some of the great teaching staffs that I have met, partly I am passionate to go further in life and partly because I have a chance to know what I want to be in the future.

Blogger who cannot believe he spend so much time talking that he forgets that it is supposed to be study vacation for him. Ciao-su!

BBQ Chinese Grill

   I had a good time at BBQ Chinese Grill yesterday. Eat a lot, laugh a lot and also spend a lot =) Although money has been just banked in, it seems that it is flowing out very fast too. Hopefully I can be more thrifty in weeks to come. Due to exams, I think I will spend even more eating out or take aways. Yesterday is an exception because it is for a friend's birthday but I find it rather expensive though. Will not tell my mum about the price, if not, i will get leteran yang cukup panjang. Honestly, I am not a fan for grill stuff, too dry and too salty feeling. But for once in awhile, I dun mind. I think the reason can be due to my preference for ikan bakar and sotong goreng of the sort. So grilling marinated chicken and pork is deemed lower standard of food tasting. Haha =) typical Malaysian.

   Exams are coming soon. My mid sem exams are quite badly done. With average credit and pass, I feel that I am losing my touch. I want to aim high and study hard. I should begin revising today. No work, no reward. I learn that last time.

   And I am praying everything goes smoothly for me, my work and my academics. I want to get that tutor position so badly that I think my good friend has been listening me talking about it so often until they want to puke... haha...No lar, the puke part is false. With the job is associated with my future dreams of having a trip to UK, settlement of my next year's rent. Please please, say yes. I only can hope and wish for the best. And as for the rest is up to someone up there.

Blogger feeling wishful and dreamy.

free

I was going through my music files.... Then, I stacked all my files according to my personal rating. Suddenly, I came across this song- free spirited =)

my very first kolam =)

Here are the pictures I manage to grab from my friend on the day I did the kolam. Although I did not participate till the end because I have an early class the following day, I still feel great. Want to do kolam, ask me okay? I know how de because I am the one mixing the colours (air of proudness)

Diwali Night =)

It was quite hectic at the beginning as I was late for event. Sorry,I had class until 6pm and the event started at 6pm. Nevertheless, we managed to pull it through. Yesterday is actually my first time wearing the Indian traditional clothing. It looks weird on me because it is kind of long and my friend, who I borrow the clothes from, is quite tall and buff. I had fun making the kolam the night before. Actually, it is not as hard as I thought it would be. Just that the process of mixing the colour had my fingers nails coloured =.= Do you know what is a kolam?
It is actually the coloured grain rice the Indians displayed on the floor during Deepavali. I am satisfied for the fact that I am part of the kolam team. It is not pronounced as kolam (Malay), it is ko 'lem'. the lem must sound like the lembu's lem.

In the middle of the food event, there was a dance by the team for the Malam Gema Malaysia night. So, in short, it was awesome. Then, after almost finished serving the guests with food, I decided to have a go at the henna. Kind of nice.... Here you go:

Blogger feeling a bit guilty because he actually supposed to be doing the Country Report yesterday and today. But then he is thinking it is actually quite worth it because at the end of the day, everyone went home with a smile on their faces. And he thinks that is priceless~

Dear diary

Today has been good to me. Although I am rushing in doing my stuff, I made good progress. One day and I have settled 500 words of assignment. In my opinion, I am better in shock sendiri to interpret all the data and numbers. I am going to nail you, Country Report. In anticipation of a busy week ahead of me, I am pumping myself with more adrenaline. I remembered there is once I discussed about this last semester when I had done my finance assignment.

A senior told me, "Work hard, final exam for finance is going to be hard." I was like ..... Okay. Another senior told me she is the second top student for the subject I am taking now. Since second top scorer is asking me to work hard, who am I to say no right? Time to do revision for this subject. I am hoping for a credit. Please bless me, Corporate Finance 2. You know I love you right? I am sounding cuckoo... Better sign off now to resume my homework.

Dear diary

16 October 2010,

Today is a windy and sunny day. A very unproductive day. I don't know what happened to me. The nearer the assignment due date comes, the scarier I get. And the scarier I get, the more times I will blog. I have this anxiety problem. When I am not happy, confused and scared, I blog. I almost treat my blog as my personal diary. But, I do know I this is for public viewing, hence, I don't curse. Haha....not that I curse anyway.

There is this international business subject which requires heavy research on a specific country. And I thought choosing Philippines would be easy peasy because initially I see huge potential for foreign investment. However, the more I research, the worse it gets, economically. For the culture, political and legal parts, they are still blank. I don't know where to start and what to do. Part of me has given up because I did quite badly in the team analysis works. Fine.... I should do it baby step and stop complaining. You are sounding like a grandpa, Chee Seng!

I came across an article which writes that a person can be more productive by listing all the tasks. Then, tick all the tasks that have been done. Fair enough but the problem is I have difficulty in following the list. Currently, 1148pm, my neighbours a few blocks away are having party of their lives. You wait! I will call security when the clock strikes 12. I don't want to be mean, I just want to start doing my work and I know today is Saturday. Not everyone parties on Saturday.

Blogger getting frustrated over his procrastination...FML

Continuation...... of what makes you happy?

After writing my experience for so loooonnnngggg, I begin trailing off from my original post. Sorry about that. I know because I am a self-reflecting person.

The number 2: Good health.

Men are happy when they are in good shape. It is kind of true. I think being in good health should be counted as a blessing that we are going to live for another day. Good health is a kicking start towards great success. Haha... it sounds cliche yet true. Everyone needs a good mind and healthy body to execute anything. I have quite an extent to be in good shape. I jog once in a while, maybe once every two weeks? I swim like once a month and play badminton also every fortnight. I love to exercise and sweat. Part of me thinks that by being in shape now, it helps me to think faster. Just a thought though.

The number 3: A happy partner

Surprise, surprise. It says that by having a happy partner in life, men are happier. Pretty glad to know that. It seems that happiness can spread like wildfire and the survey reveals men are 8% happier if his great life is shared with his partner. Aiyor.... then I must be failing this area lar.... Dun say partner la, the bayang of a gf pun tak pernah nampak.... But I do give a thought at times. Still no progress.... Fine, this point is not relevant then.

To be continued.... assignment needs to be submitted soon. Time to start doing the rest of it. Ciao.

What makes you happy?

Due to my boredom despite tonnes of things to do, I always browse through the net to find stuff which is interesting. Something like survey about men's opinion, health, food and music. I come across an online magazine and it list the 10 things that make men happy. Well, let's see.

No. 1: Friends. I totally agree with this ranking. It says that meeting friends make men happy. Wow, that's so true. According to the survey, the amount of money that should be compensated for a guy who has not met his friends for a year is closely $300,000. That's a lot! I can't agree less. I think it is not the money, I think I will die... Haha =) I am so talkative and if I don't see my friends, I am most likely to suffer depression and commit suicide. No la, probably won't commit suicide. I can be a pretty loner at times, but I love to just chat with my good friends. The magazine also writes that being around peers helps men to produce a kind of hormone which gives happy feeling... Betul betul.... Should i post the picture of my friends here ar? DUN WANT LAR, I AM SO SHY.... haha, not really shy but is because I seldom take pictures with my friends geh... It is not the pictures that show your strength of your friendship right? It is the heart that counts. (wink wink)

I consider myself pretty fortunate because wherever I went I had at least a friend which I could closely talk to.... Like last time primary school, got three besties always there... Chat like orang gila seems like nobody's business. Then come to secondary school, also got one two friends geh, the ones who will can finish your sentences... Freaking hate them for finishing my sentences (not really, i think friends like that are treasures!) Then come to college, seems like I am a bit withdrawn, quite quiet and quite lost though they are good friends  but seldom can talk. Talk also must be careful at times.... I dunno why, maybe felt strange... But then in the end got one lar.... But this friends quite siow one as the surname suggests. XD can be funny and can be sampat and can be super kind as well... I think friends who know me really well last time can pretty sure say I have moody behaviour.

It can be attributed to insecurity. I dun like to be in the presence of many people actually. For me, if they are really close, three to four are sufficient. But it so happens everytime my close friends have such a huge gang of friends that I get pulled in the end... Unexpected yet happy =) To say I am judgemental is true, I am friend selector... Hohoho.... Once I told my good friend about this, he got scared, "Wahhhh, I din know you are like that." Well, be glad I select you...... No lar, I am just crapping... I don't really talk much unless I really know you but I get the feeling that everytime once I get warm up to the close friends, it is time to leave again. So, being personal can be a good thing too. Takkan want me to pour out everything when meeting new friends meh? That will be inappropriate.

Now leh, sometimes find that some can be fake, some intentional yet many truthful and sincere. Glad to know them. But I dunno it is me or them. I can feel like they are hiding something. If I ask the question knowing the question is what my friends want to avoid, will I be deemed KPC. I believe everyone has the right to keep their personal lives to themselves but only good friends will want to know right? I am not wrong for thinking that right?

For me, it is very common that I avoid certain subject. True enough, I don't say unless people ask. Because I believe people who care are the ones who will ask these questions. So, I answer truthfully. All this while, I thought I hide my personal stuff quite well until I suddenly told a friend about my story la...bla bla bla... And he said, "I know ar," I said how u know.... "Because you never talk about it"... Hmmm... Well, I didn't say because I do not want to sound disrespectful because I used to think that reality sucks... Yeah, sucks big time..

I think I have been in such a dilemma state for so long, and to be in dilemma now is such a simple thing. I don't face problem which normal people seem to face. I think nobody will understand. By saying, it shouldn't  help. So, might as well don't say. Not that I choose to not to tell, but I tried and everytime I get the sympathy looks that I dislike. There was once I told a friend who has similar problem like myself. After hearing, I think she found it a relief because deep down she never expect me to have such big problems before. Haha... I think I should be a motivator next time just by telling my story. So dramatic yet pitiful.

That's the reason I find that being emo is the worst expression. You want to be emo, friend. Come and listen to my story and I think you have no more reason to be emo about. You think life is hard, of course it is hard. Nobody says it is easy. Suck up,learn and move on. But I am quite fortunate because I learn to dream. As I believe background forms a personality and since my background is different, I always dream of being different from others. I want to succeed but not just materially because picking myself up is not easy.

And I always appreciate friends around me. I think I have good memory when it comes to my personal lives. I can still remember the friend who consoled me when I cried in primary school. The friend who stood by me when the rest think I am being a disgrace, the friend who fought with me over simple matter. the friend who told me I am his best friend, the friend who appeared everywhere unexpectedly wherever I go, and the friend who cried over love.

Due to my good memory, it always seems that these friends have been my besties like yesterday. Let me count the besties that I have: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Well, not many hor? So pathetic, in my life, I only have 10 besties but I think 10 is sufficient... and how much do you think I will pay if I were to never to meet them in my life before? Nothing because all I will pay is my heart, love and sincerity.

Condolences

I really have no idea when my sis asked me to call back home. Normally, the first thing on my mind is, "Oh shit, some bad has happened again."

True enough, a relative has passed away again. Not to say that I am particularly close to the uncle but, I know that uncle is a good man. He is very capable too. My mum praised him, "Saying that he is very 'pen shi' because with just O level qualification, he has become a manager, working overseas." True, the uncle is quite humble too. Not like some rich guys who only know how to show off. What is shocking is for the fact that his cause of death is still unknown and he is only 53 years of age. Deepest condolences from me to the family.

All I can is that good people die too young in this world. At least, he is not suffering when he passed away. The people suspected heart attack but this seems to be unheard of since he has been healthy all this while.

Fine, this year has not really be an auspicious year. When I suffered the loss of two grandparents, the least I can say is they are of old age already but for this, I have nothing to say. I am bad at attending funerals because I have nothing to say. Normally, I will escape if I can do so.

Hopefully they are able to get back the corpse soon because there seems to be a delay.

There is once I attended a dharma talk in my uni. The old uncle told us that ," We should be able to let go of the departeds." I don't pay attention to what he said, but true enough, one should move on. The memories remain. What I am sad during my grandma's passing is the fact that I have received so much kindness and help from her. And before I can even repay her kindness, she is already gone. Fortunately, I will always remember what she told me last time, study hard and be good. As I am the youngest in the family, not due to age but due to rankings, I am always being laughed at. Haha... I find it funny too when my grandma said it.

But she is always say I am her favourite. I used to be very naughty and called her "Mother" following what my father, mother,uncles and aunties call her. She would  reply, "Ohhhh, that makes you my 'lai zhai', following up by 'lai zhai lai sam kon'. " Yes, having her did cheer up my life and made my life easier. I am always indebted to her.

As for the rest who suffers the same loss as me, be grateful that they have been there for us. In life, we should appreciate what we had, not the loss. Come and go is the norm of life. Be grateful and move on.

Blogger feeling happy thinking about past memories. =)

.... .... ....

Today is a relax and gloomy day. After attending 9am lecture and 1pm tutorial, I feel carefree and decide to come back home to finish my drama series. I believe I am in a state of drama addiction. So, I am feeling rather sleepy and anxious for not being able to do anything. Along the way home, I grabbed a monthly magazine published by one of the student union in my university. I think it is pretty cool for my student union to be able to pull off such a good work.

It caught my eye for the edition of the Magazine being "Queer edition". Being an American drama series fan, I know the mean of queer referred by the Western society. Haha... Do you know what it means? If I am not mistaken, it is used to refer to people who are not heterosexuals, such as gays,lesbians and asexuals. What amuses me is the fact that even students are allowed to talk about sexuality so freely. But, I am impressed that the freedom of speech given is used wisely because the contents are generally to promote understanding, tolerance and acceptance. Thumbs up, Honi Soit (title of the magazine). I am not an avid reader of Honi Soit but occasionally, I will take a peek just to immerse myself in the Australian culture.

The thing about Australia is that it is unique of its own. Besides having the same political system as her Western counterparts, the economy, social and cultural values are quite different. Sadly, I am not fond of Australia. Maybe, I should say my characteristics do not fit well into Australia. It is safe to say that I am a person who values traditional aesthetics, being art, language, culture and history. Australia is rather too modern to my liking. As such, Malaysia still has a better greater aesthetic values which I cherish. Malaysia has its  faults and weakness yet, it depends on every individual's judgement. The culture can be rather horrible at times, but it is the thing that make me laugh and shakes my head at the end of the day.

En en.... I am feeling down recently. Don't know why. Can be homesick, can be too bored, can be sick of the world's intolerance and cruelty. Despite all this, I believe everyone will have a time like this. Hope that there is someone who will suddenly just knock my room door and talk to me about things... but I think it is rather impossible because my house door is locked =.= haha... Hoping for the impossible which reminds me of another occasion which I told a friend of mine... Why can't you strike a jackpot while at the same time not buying it? The only possibility is you pick up a winning jackpot ticket... another =.= lame joke but my friend did laugh at that time... This is me... the ever positive me in front of others yet, somehow, I feel so lonely and down when I am alone.

Adios

Uni starts tomorrow

I feel refreshing after watching endless drama series. Yes, my refreshment is plain simple. Just sit down, relax and watch. Pure simple pleasure. It has been a week of holidays.

This spring break brings good news too. I have been confirmed a place to stay for 2011. At least I will have a shelter. Besides, I am going for a tutor position interview. Fingers crossed... If I got this job, my dream of an oversea graduate holiday will be closer than ever =) Well, I think new mid-semester brings new hope. I want my world to rock even more.

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping with a friend. Along the way, we chatted about uni stuff, life as an oversea student and daily stuff. It has been unquestionable that people back home think we are doing so well. "Wah, so nice ar to be studying overseas. Must be very lucky". But do you really think the experiences are all happiness?
Not all. It is has never been easy. I am grateful for the opportunity but this opportunity comes with a cost. The feeling away from home. The stress and challenges that come with it.

To be frank, it has never been easier to talk to someone. Sometimes, you just have to suck it all up, be strong and give the radiant smile that everyone loves to see. Hmmmm....

Fortunately, I cope better now. Next year will be my last year. I am joining the workforce soon. A bit apprehensive, a bit worried but there is also excitement and sense of adventurous. First thing, I don't want to feel poor any longer. NEVER. I have known what it feels like. Yet, I will come out of it with pride, dignity and with a sense of humility (hopefully).

Recently, I have been watching the drama "Can't Buy Me Love", A story about a princess taken into the palace when she was 6. This drama is very hilarious and emphasizes on family values. I begin to cherish what I used to have. It is not the material substance that matters at the end of the day, it is what that lies within our hearts that matters the most.

I used to wonder and ask my mum last time why she is so bother to cook for the whole family when we can just easily go out and dine at a restaurant. Faster, cheaper and less work. Yet, my suggestion has always been turned down except during birthdays and minor celebrations. I think I can understand how she felt back then. I think it is her sense of pride as a mother and happiness as a care giver to give us the very best she can. The thought of doing something for your loved ones is so great that every Mum's action is unquestionably always right. For that, I am eternally grateful.

Blogger begins to see another light that makes sense in his life by watching another drama. =)

Spring Break

Spring break is almost finished. It is a week holiday here for University of Sydney. I have spent five days straight watching dramas and anime. Oh my gosh. When I think about it, the only time I walked was to the bathroom or prepare something to eat. I am so idle that I love my holiday so much. Me love dramas. Fact of life that I will admit proudly.

Luckily I did something during this break. At least, I played badminton once on thursday. And the consequence, my thighs are still sore till now. An indication that I have been slacking in exercises for quite some time already. But I like the badminton session because I sweat and run. Me love sports. Another fact of life....

Besides, I went to a buffet. The time is rather odd. The buffet started from 930pm until 11pm because this is the promotion hour. Being a student, I search frantically for anything that is on promotion. But I love the buffet. It is held in a casino. Eat as if I have starved for a few days. The desserts were splendid. So nice untill words can't express my happiness. It has a variety of food.... I felt so bliss. Hohoho... My stomach felt bloated after finished eating. I would love to go again =)

There you go, all about my one week holiday. Short and sweet. I intended to write a little longer but one of my facts of life is disrupting my plan. XD Till then, adios!

emotionless

It is very funny. I feel like have been repeating myself again and again, doing the same stuff. The activities are attending classes, eat, watch some dramas, some anime and looking around in facebook. Can anybody tell me something different that I can do? My body is totally exhausted and I still have this major assignment to hand in this Thursday. The question is not hard, just that I am not sure what should I put in to strengthen what I want say.

I want to go swimming... Yes, I probably should this weekend, the day after my assignment submission. Anyone interested to join me? Also, I have become more of a social recluse, refusing to talk unless necessary. Oh no, I am turning into a robot. Crap! This is so not me. The thought of calling myself robotic sounded not like me at all. Where is me? The me who always laugh and do whatever I feel like doing. I seem to be bounded by stuff recently. I am not sure whether I should worry things too much.

Yah, I think I should worry less and do more things, can be anything. Reading, surveying, researching and even eating at different places. If not, my life is going to be same everyday like a vicious cycle. One thought comes to my mind right now, I should think positive.

For a few reasons to be positive about: spring break is coming. I heard Meng Huat is coming over I think. Still not sure though because I have not really confirmed with him the other day. I want to play badminton, go jogging and play frisbee. Haha.... I used to think frisbee is a special game for dogs until I saw people played, mainly Aussie. It can be quite fun, depending on how you make the rules.

Today, I met my previous PASS facilitator on my way to a tutorial class. He still remembered me... Haha, kind of nice to know that your presence is being acknowledged at times. I quite like this facilitator, Very helpful and friendly. His surname is cool as well: Tregeagle. I never ask him how to pronounce it, fearing of embarrassing myself. I had a chit chat with him and he is going to be an economics researcher soon. Best of luck!

Today, I realise the academics in my university are really helpful. The tutors really teach for the love of the job. When I ask questions, they will not give you the weird 'you are so stupid' face but they encourage you to voice out your concern. I am quite slow to realise this after two years I am here. Buat malu sahaja. Tak apa, malu 2 tahun lebih baik dpd malu sepanjang masa, kan kan?

And and, I have got myself a ticket home this coming summer. Wooohooo.... So looking forward to it. The weird thing is, I am looking forward to my friend driving me around to go lim teh. Oppss, if my mum knows this, I am done. No la, mummy. I always miss you! Yes, must quickly give her a call soon. I always got the telepathy that my mum is missing my sexy voice.

Till then, ciao. Oh, one more thing to look forward to: mooncake festival. To all my friends who celebrate it, Happy Mooncake Festival in advance. Do you believe me if I tell you I am still walking around with lantern after all this while I am here?

my beautiful Malaysia

We are now at a very important stage. Who are the we here? We refer to the Malaysians. The hot current debate is the issue about the privileges that certain race gets which is institutionalised. For whatever reason, I feel that if the battle is lost, there is no more hope left. This is the moment. If you want to change, grab the chance and change. Or else I am afraid, this vicious cycle will be never ending.

It is crucial. When you feel the discussion is the most intense, that means the resolution is coming. I hope, pray and wish it is for the better. It is has been so long and she is not young anymore. Don't you see the sign, Malaysia is aging and weakening. If she does not change, I have no eye to see. =(

I hate the fact that Malaysia newspaper columnists prefer to showcase the successful ex-Malaysian abroad. I think it is rather shameful. They are successful after they leave the country. Just the recent Malaysian born, Penny  Wong who is now sworn in as Australian Minister holding the Finance Minister post. What will she be if she is now in Malaysia? Most likely an ordinary Malaysia, at best be the Tourism Minister.

You know why? She has no hope or nil chance in getting the Finance Minister post in Malaysia. Our political system is just plain wrong. Only certain people are able to attain the top position and that certain people are mostly males. You only see smart intellectual women in supporting role. What does it say? An ultra sexist and male chauvinist political system. Sad sad.... You are depriving yourself of the best half of the population from ruling the country. Come on, wake up! Realise that there is something wrong here.

Why do you need such a long wake up call? And the problem is: you are still dreaming, clinging on to the hope that never exist or you can argue, used to exist 50 years ago? I agree, we started strong but we ended up the weakest. The true awareness has to within. But nobody will blame you for being slow, however, everyone will blame you for noticing and yet, not taking any initiatives. I know the cultures exisitng in you is not easy, but sometimes, you got to do "WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO".

You watch the greatest transformation happening at other country, a black president for the first time. It symbolises hope for others. People are drawn there. Everyone wishes to have hope. A slight hope is better than no hope. I, once tell my friend. I want to be the future Finance Minister. My friend said, "Wake up, Chee Seng. You have no chance. Look at the current post. It has been so long since a Chinese takes that portfolio." It sends the impact like a 100 tonnes metal falling down on me. I really stand no chance. What about Gabenor Bank Negara, at least can chop money with my signature. Another denial from that friend. Why? Every Malaysian knows why. Because my name is unique and speaks volume about my chances.

I can understand why many Malaysians left the country while knowing in their hearts which place they belong to. Perhaps, they just want to cling to the tiny,frail hope that is offered by other nations.

I hope that one day, when any Malaysian children of tomorrow come running to me excitedly asking, " Can I be the Prime Minister?" I want to be able to say with confidence and poise that, "Just go for it."

That will suffice. If my battle for this answer is won, I think this is my greatest achievement in life. It is not an impossible answer. All it needs is a little change of mindset and be prepared to work your ass off for it.

easy listening

I regretted hitting the button to listen music videos on Youtube. Suddenly, it seems naturally that I will spend up to an hour just listening to a specific artist. This artist sings the music of my soul. Love his music to the max. His music the very first reason I love mandarin pop in the first place. Should thank him... I actually should not have time to blog. Exam is on Thursday but I just want to relax a little bit. Okay, shall talk about my idol one day okay? Promise.

Blogger feels great after listening to his soul music again... Wheeeee......

examinations plus reading

this week is very hectic... 2 mid semester exams and one quiz. I don't have the mood. not to say not to study, but very hard to focus. Something seems lacking, don't know how to describe. Anyone can tell me what am I lacking. I try to cheer myself by watching a taiwanese talk show, "Guess Guess Guess". It works towards a certain extent and I am still here. One indication: I am stuck. I hate to deal with uncertainty and for these two papers not to say hard, but rather confusing.

I really hate it when some standards are put in such a manner which sounds professional but doesn't make sense. Isn't better if you use simple language that normal people would comprehend? Instead of saying directly, it is beating around the bush for dunno how many times and in the end, it means simple stuff =.= But I heard previous exams were tough, so I did some study and ask some tips. Hmmm.... Financial accounting is really not my cup of tea. I refuse to say I hate it because it is a process of learning.

The process of learning can be wonderful, I just have to find a way to learn it. Also, I try to be grateful for the fact that I have a comfy place to learn, good friends for guidance and nice tutor to provide additional assistance. Oppsss... I forgot that tomorrow I have tutorial to attend. Ciao!

Blogger regaining his focus once he starts blogging. Wheeee.... Maybe he will consider blogging more than once a day to remain focused. Gambateh.

mahu vote tak?

Recent Malaysian news indicates that election might be coming soon. Maybe maximum 2 years time? Time really flies. And since I am 21, I am eligible to vote.... If I am an ordinary citizen, I would be pleased to vote because it represents my power in determining the future of my country. Unfortunately, my country is extra ordinary. The political parties are fighting things for the wrong reason.

Just to compare with Australia, there is a labour party and liberal party. Am I saying it right? One is fighting for keeping the basic's human necessity like lower tax, higher incentive and higher payment for paternity leaves. Wow, got paternity leave suggestion some more. Syioknya. And another party is fighting for Green, as my Aussie housemate told me. They are here to protect the environment by carrying out higher tax on corporate bodies to create a sustainable future.

These visions are really that make the voters fire up. They are fighting for rights that everyone can enjoy. Either party wins will benefit the citizens. Hmmm.... what about Malaysia? I think we are still fighting about education rights, scholarships, business opportunity, discrimination and race issues. Where are the solid grounds you are fighting? They seem to be focusing on the menial issues that are not supposed to exist any longer. One thing you can applaud them. Those damn stubborn politicians and voters. They refuse to change the track of the main agenda. To say Malaysia is still at its infancy, we are not. To say we are developed, we are so far away.

So, what are we? We are just like adults fighting baby issue. Which adult should get the toys? =.=

Back to my question: should i vote ar? Why should I? I will only give to individual that deserves it but what if the individual I want to vote is of party that does not fight for the main agenda I wish it is fighting for. My main doubt. Never mind. Once, I start seeing the main agenda, I will vote. From the current being, let's just say my vote might come for a few more decades, if I am lucky enough to survive till that time, that is.

You do not have to persuade me to vote for you. Save your breath and effort. Just do the things right and I shall have the eyes to see.

she who is someone different from other

I am used to heard my friends saying, "Mothers are all the same." Yeah, I agree up to a certain extent. Mother will always say that you kids are so lucky nowadays, got to study and parents to fetch you go and back from school. Haha.... My mum also said that all the time. And I was very scared when I have to stay back for extracurricular, she will ask me, "Do you know how hot is it?" Oppssss... That's why I will walk very fast out of my class once the last lesson ended. Faster coming out = avoid traffic. Phew...everyone is happy.

At times, I feel that I have the luxury to relax around without parental pressure to do well because my mum never ask me to be extra ordinary, She just hopes that I will be like everyone else and have a normal life. But, I think the last I wish is like everyone else. In form 1, my best friend told me, "My Mum keeps asking me to study." I replied, "My Mum always ask me to stop studying." Haha... You know why.... The reason is I love to study until late at night because I have taken naps in the afternoon. Hoho.... So, I give my mum the impression that I am studying all the time. Tactic successful.

My mum also never ask me when is examinations. So funny, she will tell me to sleep early and do not stress myself too much. Wahhhhh.... My mum really think I study too much huh? Since young, I always believe that one should be responsible for his own action so, I seldom make my mum worry much academically. I can still remember her shouting in the car when I told her I scored full A's for UPSR. But I know she has nothing to give me other than her care, love and advice. For these, I think it is sufficient for me. I never ask for more because I know family at home is quite tough.... Not say tough, but someone is making it tough. That's why I always cherish my mum.

Today, just called her. And she said she was just thinking earlier today why I haven't called for so long. You can say this is mum telepathy, sending signal to me to call home. Haha.... Then, I reminded her to keep some mooncakes and asked whether she kept some bak zhang for me. She said no need, I will make some for you. Hoho... Zhuan dao.. That's why there is a saying, "The way to heaven is at the bottom of Mum's foot" (direct translation for syurga terletak di bawah tapak kaki ibu)  and I really believe that indefinitely.

tikam....

Today, my whole day is filled with this misery word. I felt so helpless.

Corporate Finance 2 mid semester examination is today, And I just thought I am aiming for pass.... Aiming for pass seems so hopeful afterall. The 1-hour examination for 30 MULTIPLE CHOICE questions is so long. Yes, it is multiple choice which makes me feel worse. I am like =.= I have been preparing since the first week itself, doing all the tutorial questions and preparing 1 week ahead. Still like this... One word I just learn which really suits my situation right now: FML!

Then, I was guessing all the way because I am scared I don't have time to tikam at the end....I did some with ease but for the majority part: they are either uncertain or unknown. Feel like want to cry but then, decided not to because I still have 2 more examinations next week. I shall rest for today, so I end up watching 6 hours of anime plus drama just to forget the experience.

While the rest of my day seems unproductive, I did volunteer for an event, not bad though. Met quite a few new friends. And I even taught a China friend the word, "tikam" because she was in the same exam as me and ask me what it means when I told that to a Malaysian friend.The event is nothing much just that recently I found that people who met me before do remember my name.... Hehe...I thought I am insignificant, seems not =)

Then, I also went for a dharma talk organised by my friends, interesting discussion I should say but I seldom ask questions. Pai seh ma, first time attending.. But I do find it quite informative and interesting. The speaker point of view can be used as a guidance in life or should I say, a light that will shine through the tunnel, but I do not deny that I have neglected the spiritual need of myself for quite a few years.

The thought of that seems to strike me with another thought... I seem to think that right or wrong is within one's conscience. You yourself will determine whether it is right or wrong but within the society, there are some moral conducts that are deemed necessary. Once heard that, the Buddha is within you. It is not that if you pray more, you are more holy than others. One's person karma is determined by your action, speech and thought. You must do it right then I think will be sufficient.

Blogger feels that when one hell breaks lose, another two might come next week... Gambateh to me!

eustress or distress?

I know I like a subject when remembering the facts come so naturally. For those who have studied Organisational Behaviour, these terms should sound familiar to you.

These two are basically, as the names suggest, stress. One is a good stress while one is a bad stress. What the heck, right? People nowadays can classify stress into good and bad. Don't they have anything in between?
Eustress is a good stress apparently. This amount of stress is helpful. Let me give you an example. For example, when the examination dates come nearer, you apparently have eustress to quicken up your pace of studying. So, somehow or rather, it can be said a good stress.

What is distress? It leads to anxiety and may cause you some trouble such as emotional problems. It is bad stress. Something like when you are facing a stalker or trouble fitting in. So they are bad!

But, I am wondering why is my eustress is causing me behavioural change? The nearer the examinations date, the more hours I spent on drama and anime. Today itself, 6 hours =.= Fine, I will gambateh tomorrow but Malaysian Hall is having buka puasa. Should I go? It is very tempting but I want to nail that Corporate Finance subject.

Want to ask for help, but pai seh to ask because I know the subject is tough so I do not want to trouble other people. I should read up myself right? Always ask questions also makes other think you are such a bother.

Never mind, a fresh day comes with fresh hope. =) I will sleep earlier and wake up earlier to revise. Corporate Finance is such an interesting subject but most of the content is like so challenging! I am finding myself sweating for this subject. =.=""""""""" haha, lame joke for a lame me.

Blogger feeling like sleeping,studying and watching drama at the same time.

my hobby

Just because I spend the whole day doing my homework, I need a reason for doing all these work. Hence, once I reach home, I decided to watch continuous 4 hours of hong kong drama... =)

Yeah! I finish watching "The Men of Justice". This drama is very unique. Although I do not deny the actors and actresses aren't that good looking, it has awesome story in it. It is about a group of lawyers and detectives solving cases as usual. Yet, the intensity of the mysteries is very unique. Beside, the romance part..fuuuhhh. I tell you... I give it 9/10. With my experience of watching dramas and movies... this romance story is one of the top leagues. Recently, I realise that drama that incorporates correct mood song has tremendous effect. Maybe for others no so, but for me plus 10 points.... Unfortunately, the heroine died in the end... =(  and the ending is somehow not logical for me... Watch it and then give me your comments please.

Regarding my studies, I have spent these few days keep reading and reading until my eyes go @_@. Seriously, I do not exaggerate stuff one. I will not make up stories about how less I read but I will tell you. Is spending 4 hours per day on reading a little? Maybe 3.5 hours la...

Ohhhh... today is merdeka day. Happy National Day. Selamat Hari Merdeka! 国庆日快乐！
Nah...here you go... all the language I try my best to type... I learn these words from a friend geh.... thanx maggie! She refused to be my tutor because I am not paying her. So money face right this kind of friend? But ngor dei hai kong sam gei ma.

With 53rd times of independence years, I hope Malaysia can go a higher level now. Recently, I read some saddening stories on the net. Yet, I choose to ignore and focus on the positive of Malaysia. Be strong, be dynamic and be loved!

I hope Malaysia can end the racial politics soon, I hope everyone can enjoy total freedom especially speech wise. I also wish everyone will be open minded with the current issue on hand. Focus on growth. I think that is what everyone wants to see. Be more caring, be more loving and be more creative. I do not really love Malaysia, but I love Melaka la... Since Melaka is part of Malaysia, then I presume I love Malaysia a little bit geh.... XD

I also wish everyone will stop telling me Malaysia has no hope. I want people to tell me Malaysia is the place you go because of your own willingness, its potential and capabilities and because you love everything there. I will work my best to promote Malaysia.

And and also about my sudden realisation that I have been manipulated into thinking I am just like everyone else. Just because I am new and inexperienced, that does not mean I am the same as everyone else. I believe I am unique in my own way. Unique I shall strive. I have a rational mind to think. Hehe......

Blogger has been productive by reading,researching and watching dramas during National Day and he feels as awesome as ever, just a little bit bored because he has not talked to someone for 8 hours.

ps: talking excludes "hi and bye" and chat

like this and that

The music I am listening recently really has catchy phrases. I feel that music heals one soul, seriously. Does it heal yours? For one, I like these words "The spaces between my fingers fit yours perfectly". Well, I do not have a loved one yet. But I think one day, I will tell my loved one these words again. I find it very nicely said and sentimental in value. Just the silly me again.

The hard working me has finally come out for today. I have spent 3 hours non-stop doing my International Business assignment. Thumbs up for me. This assignment is quite tiring because the validity of the research material is important. Still, I have received help from my friends. Thank you.... There are only one actually... =) Well, it doesn't matter thanking another one, is there?

Blogger in the spirit of watching anime for hours non stop to celebrate the emerging hardworking side of him.

little secrets

If I were to say I have become a more realistic person, I think I would disagree.

If I were to say I have become a more caring person, I would disagree too.

If I were to say I have become a more individualistic person, I would nod my head.

Just who says individualistic is a bad thing? It sounds bad only when you see from a point of view of someone who is used to collectivism. Well, individualistic is actually cultivated as a result of capitalism. This is what I learn today. I am so glad that International Business is one of my core subjects. When I am reading International Business, I think I must have fallen in love with it. Although the reading is 60 pages, I found myself amused and motivated to read them because it relates to human and society behaviour. Besides, I love the area which focuses on weird but true fact and situation that make me go, "Ah ha". Overall I am loving International Business more and more.

After learning Organisational Behaviour and currently International Business, I am beginning to know where I want to land myself someday. It somehow strengthens my aspiration to be a consultant because I want to deal with human characteristic. Human is greedy by nature you know. They are possessive, greedy and needy individuals. (It seems that I am talking from a third person point of view which makes me an alien =)  ).

But this is just what I observe at the moment. I always think that the concept of money system is the greatest invention of all. Why do people always chase after money? How do people survive without money last time?

What makes money so important? Where does money come from? Which society values money less? I would love to know all these answers. However, i think the answer is rather obvious. It comes from human itself. We are so into power, possession and greediness that we create a system that bounds everyone. Best to say, our survival depends on it. What if money does not exist? I would love to see when that happens which I think will not happen for my period of life staying here on earth.

Can anyone tell me the answers? Even if you are a religious person, I have always read articles about religions sometimes do use money to attract the believers in the low income people. Hmmm... Does it mean money can even help you to spread religious beliefs? Interesting. Please do not get me wrong. I LOVE MONEY. But, my passion of human behaviour is as strong as my love for money. Thats why accounting is my chosen level of  field. It fulfills me. Hehe.... Actually, this post is not intended for the stuff write down here. Just out of the blue, feel like writing this.

Back to the title... Just when I thought friendship issue can take a rest from my mind for awhile. A sudden comment makes me amused again. One friend said, "I felt betrayed." ps: I am not the person okay? I am the listener only. I don't spread gossip here and there. Just here. 

Funny, I faced the same situation but in a very different context last semester and I have already taken console with the fact that we are human afterall. Our inner drive sometimes shows in our action. One might say, "Aiyar, you are making up stories." I don't and I don't like convincing and talking bad about others. Bulan Ramadhan, tak baik bergossip. So, I will just give this advice one more time, if my friend were reading this.

Live for yourself, live for others and live with your heart. You don't have to pour all your heart and soul. The best you can will suffice.

Blogger talking about stuff that is so random he thinks this thought never actually came through his mind before. He just loves to say something important to make himself think he is important. Another selfish soul!

what say you.....

A few hours ago, I heard my housemates talking, "Sas, what the fxxx happens to the fxxxing election?" Well, no surprise at all when the words came out of my housemate. I began to realise she has no meaning to curse. It is her way of expression. In my opinion, thats the way they express themselves. =)

Then, a further query reveals that Australians are required to vote at the age of 18. What gives me a shock is that even students have to vote. Also, if they do not vote, they will face a fine of $120. Wow... okay, that is really something new.

It seems so different in Malaysia where citizens are able to vote at 21 years old and students are not allowed to involve themselves in politics. Hmmm... Here, we have students who don't mind not voting but we have Malaysians students yelling to be heard. Haha...

It is something to take note, my beloved country. If people want to vote, it shows they care. If there are people who don't mind at all, you should be scared, not the way round where you are scared that people want to vote. Students have strong minds and they are capable of handling themselves, well, these are expected of them anyway. So, why not put a little more faith in Malaysian students. They might provide fresh ideas and more critical discussions in comparsion to the current bickering and dog-eat-dog Parliament.

The thought of those in Parliament makes me shakes my head wildly. Yes, wildly. They are so un-classy. Even children know it is not nice to be yelling here and there. Have they not known the word shame? I do not have to tell whose faults is this. One point: YOU HAVE TO EARN YOUR VOTES. Who gives you the damn right to sit there? It is US, the people. We are the people you have to convince, not the top level government.

What makes us trust you? Obviously, the answer is through your actions throughout and not during a few months before the election. My gosh... Please... Don't you think this is the best time to change. If we keep having this kind of administration, whatever potential a country has will not matter anymore. It is disheartening when I told my friends, "Malaysia has potential." But the replies I have are, "Malaysia has no hope liao" and "Impossible la." I was like..... dumbstruck because I have nothing to say back.

Sometimes I think Malaysia needs a lesson. She needs to falls hard and she who learns a tough lesson will know how much pain it is and come back strong. Then, I believe everyone will have the "ah ha" moments. That will be for the best. What I am afraid is Malaysia will fall hard but the people still cannot have these unique moments. Thats is the time I will cry.... Not through tears, through my loss of hope.

Blogger at the moment thinking Malaysia requires major revamp on her looks, inside out.

my hobby

I am dead..... not literally. Brain wise. Today, I use my time whole time watching Hong Kong dramas, animes and reading mangas. What a rest. It is not like I have nothing to do, I just feel like not doing anything. The only time I stand up is cooking, toilet purpose and take a book from Jason. Haha... I can feel my legs are quite numb now. Well, I will do my work tomorrow. Sometimes I just need to do my hobby whole day without doing anything else. I feel that this is my personal time I enjoy the most =) Although it can be a little lonely, at least I can get a run from the reality for awhile. Well, I am going to put some music I love from the things I have watched. XD

hidden agenda

If I ask you, "The more you know a person, the more you find the person has his very own agenda." You find it very uncomfortable with it. How will you advise me when you meet this person? 

A) Stay away

B) Fake a smile and play the game

C) Despise the person 

D) Act nothing happen

Well, I find it grossly disgusted. Maybe it is just me but not others. I find people who have their own interest above others are actually human afterall. But to have a person who always has his self interest above others ALL THE TIME. Ewwww... Makes me wanna puke. I don't know how I should say this. I find rather funny. This person is very friendly yet he knows how to manipulate people around them. Hmmm... Am I the only one who is too sensitive or is it people around me have no soul?

What the hell, whatever reason it is. I choose to act nothing happen. I will know what you want to do once you lift your tail, friend. So obvious! It is better if you do not tell me anything actually. Fine, since we are friends, I should at least give you a smile at least right? =) nah, here you go. Now, can you go away? 

Blogger finding himself rambling on unproductive stuff instead of focusing on his assignment. Damn! Hypocrite! 

as time passes by

   I am sitting down whole day, looking at my own laptop. The thought of those confusing notes sends shiver to me. Next week got an individual presentation. Let me see, it has been quite a long time ever since I did an individual presentation. I used to like to do presentations because I love the thing I do. Hehe.. I still remember I did a presentation about nuclear disarmament two years back in Taylors. I felt empowered to be discussing about important issue. Honestly, when I first I heard about nuclear disarmament. I was like, "Oh shit, what the heck is this about?" Then, I am required to do research about this.... Interesting. The more I read, the more interested it gets. Well, I manage to evaluate my level of english proficiency too because everyone is giving out comment and opinion. Hmmmm...
   That is the moment which I think I should give more of time to do serious time. Being 19 at that time, I felt naive not to be aware of such thing. Well, I did my part by reading Times Magazine once a month. Good progress during matriculation years. But, during university life, I have completely shunned this opinion. I noted this as transition period. Spent most of my time watching dramas, movies, travelling and eating. Kind of fun but I think it is about time to get serious again. As an individual, I believe everyone has the responsibility to know such issues. People will not be offended that you do not know, you just have to put a little effort. I can't be more impress this week when I read that a University of Sydney student is running for a political post. I was like, "Wow!" University students nowadays are quite powerful, aren't we? The more surprising thing is he is only 19... Another, 'Super wow'. Just when I thought about how important I feel, some people my age is thinking about politics.
   Time to get serious people. People are getting smarter. What makes you different? Well, one thing I can be sure, I have confidence and I am true to myself. Errrr..seems like these are not advantages in the business world at all. They are insufficient. Haha... Just when I was being interviewed to join as an AIESEC member, I find myself talking my past experience. I am quite impressed with myself. Talking and chatting is my expertise anyway =). Huhu.... I think I should brush up myself. I will be facing the business world in about 2-3 years time. Hmmm.... I want to rock the business world but it seems super hard. Never mind, I shall rock it the way I rock my life... Here comes me! Weeeeee......

Blogger on the day he hopes that he will feel empowered again during his next week presentation =)

我是香蕉人？

   This title should be quite catchy, especially for friends who have called me that. I have not heard this phrase for  maybe 5 years. Maybe, new friends find it impolite to say that. Not like previous schoolmates, never offer any face, step all over you. Haha, at first, I am quite annoyed but at last it possess no feeling already. Afterall, I do admit that I lack the grasp in Chinese Language. Hence, jiang jiang, I have thought out a good strategy to be a better reader in Chinese. I am learning from friends who write in their blogs. But I do not use google translator okay? I do not resort to such way to learn. No point if you are using translator right? Just you wait and see, hoho... this is what people call "越战越勇” Hopefully this proactive learning will be continuous.

   It is such a joy everyday to learn new things. At least it kills the boredom of every day staring the computer with nothing to do.

   A post 20 minute visit to my friend's blog sends a deja vu for me. Apparently, she is having doubt about herself, friend and society. I was in the exact position half year ago. I can't agree more of what she said. She thinks friends will be lost when you have trouble. Isn't it true? The fact is every human is a self center living species, striving for its very own survival. Do note I mention "it". The sooner you realise the fact, the better are you. While it is worth noting the fact, be rest assure that in times of need, try to find someone is who willing to listen to you. Hopefully at the end of the day, someone will be there to assist you.
   This is human, when we are in doubt, we tend to think of us being alone, but we need to realise the moment when friends and family are sometimes there for us too. Do not stress the self center behaviour of human nature. Instead choose to believe someone will be there at the end of the day. It costs nothing to have a little hope other than a little faith. If not, life will be boring without predicament and feeling of losing hope. Just have live on,

Live for yourself, live for others, live with your heart hopefully because it does not harm to be kind and caring to others. It just leave a warm smile and lovely heart at the end of the day. Gambateh....

Have you heard of him

Haha...I know it is rather ironic to be blogging about music artist yet again. This time around he comes to me by surprise. I listened to his song before... But as my usual behaviour, I did not bother much who the artist is and what song is on play. Just listen to music for the sake of enjoying good music. Perfect. This is what I call carefree music spirit me.

I was quite determined to do my International Business readings today. WAS is such a strong word here. I ended up doing research about an artist. At first, I thought this song is composed by a band because the name Owl City sounds like a band name right? Then, I did the research through Google, listening to a few songs in youtube and voila.... I found the official site for Owl City.

This brand itself is made famous by a chap known as Adam Young. Are you curious why is it call Owl City? It happens that this chap suffers insomniac which is a sleeping disorder from a very young age. And so, he used his home basement to compose music at night. Thus, the name owl city comes by. Is this what people call every cloud has a silver lining... I ain't sure I am even using a right idiom here?

Then, I went the distance and searched for his pictures and blog. Haha, yes.. I have become a stalker. Funny, from his pictures, I think he is a shy person. The reason: I should not tell. Haha... Let me just have my own secret. True enough, in one of the news article I read, he describe himself as "shy and not a huge person"(New York Times, 2009). He sings fireflies and vanilla twilight. For any of you who have not heard of it, give it a try. His music is of a unique genre. His use of disco and European electronic music sends chills down my spine. I swear it rarely occurs unless something good happens. Hoho...

Special thanx to a friend of mine who helps me notice who he is... You know who are you right? Haha.... Join me and have a light and easy music listening session, plus spine chilling if you know what I mean =)

Blogger on a musical mood all over again. Cheerios, mate!

Have you ever heard of her

I just heard of her recently as well. So, I presume most of you will know not her unless you are a Malaysian artist fan. I saw someone posting a music video about her. Then, I just clicked and listen.... Wow, Malaysia music industry is really heading towards the right direction. I am proud to be a Malaysian. Her nickname is quite cool as well. She is Mizz Nina... Go, Mizz Nina!

everything is going smoothly

=)

I love my current situation. Everything is going as I plan. I am playing badminton every fortnight. Sangat bagus, it is one of my new year's resolutions to be more active in sports.

Yesterday I found out that I can listen to Onefm, which is a Malaysia radio station. Perfecto. I try to use it last semester but to no avail. Thanx to my friend who reminded me to try again. She didn't actually reminded me but she posted something about Myfm. Suddenly I was thinking, "what the hell, just give a try"

Today happens to be another good day as well. The weather is sunny just when I would love to go shopping, book badminton court and pass movies to my friend. Loving the moment of it. This is what hokkien people say, "Sun sun li li" Heard of it... Hope you do. Because I love this phrase as it indicates life is like a sailing journey. At times, life goes through difficulties and tribulations, but at times, it has its smooth times as well...

Plus, yesterday I wrote in japanese asking, "whether I am cute" My friends and junior never give face one lor. Simply say no, some say impossible. Some say i am lying. Hey, I do receive the compliments okay. Not once but thrice okay? Fine, I should not argue.

Blogger at the moment wishing life will go on like this for awhile

Love Actually.......

Dear Readers,

   Who know what three words that follow? Well, if you want to know the answer, go and find out. The reason I put this post because I love this thing... Haha. A well produced piece. Thumbs up! 

   Okay, it is actually a movie. It is about a few mini stories combined together to form a  movie. I love one of the actor's accent. Just perfect. But I know deep down I will never have this kind of accent. It is just to hard to imitate. Very good acting. I don't know whether it receives a nomination or not.. But I still love it.. I watched for the second time yesterday, fully well known what the story entails. =)

   I shall put this a favourite movie of mine as a general reminder that love actually ......... Go and find out. You will be surprised... 

Blogger who agrees that love actually ......... 

Reading

I was quite determined during the beginning of the semester. To work hard for this semester. But I don't know where the passion has gone to. Errrr.... Been reading the whole day, 3 hours in exact of a new bought story book from Melbourne. Only 8 bucks for 2 stories. Awesome. I wonder when is Malaysia going to subsidize on books.

What is the purpose of subsidising petrol. It only causes more pollution and people are going to use it extravagantly. Why not subsidise on books right? It definitely won't cause any harm other than generating surplus of knowledge to be passed around. Let's petition for "Subsidy for Book in Malaysia". Can I start the petition?

Haha.... I wonder. Currently, I am happy to be in a place where books are cheap. This is how a civilised culture is developed. It is through reading. Do not be mistaken by my words. I mean books in terms of fiction and non-fiction. Not some gossip magazines or school textbooks. Since school textbooks now are free, there should be an act soon to publicize the habit of reading.

To look around, I find it disheartening because minority of my friends read. They do read but only textbooks. Can even memorise and read over and over again. Why not give storybooks a try? The key is preference. Choose something you like and light reading material. Then, you are off to a great start and be welcome to my world. I hate that when I told someone I love reading. They will reply, "Yah, can see.
You have the bookworm face." I was like... You must be lying in order to avoid the subject.

Fine, I should be secluded in my own world of books. I am very biased when it comes to book, I only read certain authors. ANd thanx to a dear friend of mine, Sophie, she introduced me to Sidney Sheldon series. I love him ever since. That's what has been keeping me occupied for 3 hours.

Blogger on the day he feels satisfied because he has achieved better reading time average for his fellow Malaysians. =)