a note there

it has been a super busy week. following a senior to a factory to do audit work. really not an easy job if you are expecting 9 to 5 job. the hours are long. but to be honest, i quite like the working culture there. not as bad i think  it would be and a whole lot greater. too bad, when i learn to appreciate the details in life, it is time to leave again. this week would be my final week as a vacation trainee. i truly learn a lot even for the short period of 2 months. i know some great people, some ganas people and some really hardworking people. as a fact of life, i begin to see that people are marrying late. since i have a colleague who is still single and available at an age of 30, it somehow puts me at a state of relief. I AM NOT ALONE. and i am only 21 plus plus....

talked to a friend on valentine's day. quite funny because it was never really planned. just talk and talk until i do not feel like going back home. people always say i am very much loved in my life. i never agree less. because if you learn to appreciate the detail things in life, it is actually very fulfilling to know that someone is actually there for you. back to the topic of conversation. the person thinks that life can be quite depressing without someone being there for you when you were young. it is true.

even when a friend once told me that life was like this and like this. i instantly felt sympathy, pain and caring. mixed emotion. initially i did not know how to react but i begin to be able to grasp the things which i know is important. at times, being a friend is all you need to do. be there, can be talk, can be listen, can be play and even can just be fulfilling a simple request. in the end of the day, i know the person will learn that i was there. that's why at times, i begin to ponder, if i were to left this world right now, how many people would really remember i was there to make their lives better. hmmmm.... i guess this question is very hard to answer... aiya, cincai la. it is good enough if you have good intentions in everything you do. while my friend said the feeling was quite recent, i was smiling because i have felt that four years back. and coincidentally, it happens to be the same person.

actually being vulnerable makes other people care for you more. there is nothing wrong with that but if one never really voice out to let the others know, how are others suppose to care for you. luckily the person is much better as i can see for now. this gives me a good feeling at least a friend is doing better. and i hope thing gets better because if i were to trade places, i would be a complete different individual. yes, life is very very hard when i was young. believe me, it was hard. it was the point i believe the lowest has always started when i  begin to learn about this world. nothing to be impressed of, but a lot of perspectives to take notice.

when you have been through the lowest in life, you will always have the courage to carry on. and with this, i believe i can always have the courage. the recent suicidal cases give me quite a shock. shock not because they decide to kill themselves but shock due to the reason they kill themselves. i blame them for being ignorant and being selfish. okay, time to sleep. besok mau kerja. ciao