i need someone who really sees me. i don't wanna wake up alone anymore.

all i need to know is for sure and i'll give all the love in the world.

good lyrics by The Corrs

the Bunsen guy

have u heard of the word Bunsen? actually it kind of ring a bell in my head when i read this word. somehow somewhere i must have come across this word before because it is really really familiar and very important. and given a deeper thought, the word 'penunu Bunsen' pops out of my heard. aha! there you go. the burner that i used when i was doing laboratory experiments during my senior high school years. oppsss....does that mean that i never pay attention during form 1-3? perhaps not. i felt like i was floating around during this period and until late form 3 year, i begin to grasp what i was doing. strange but true.

back to this bunsen guy, today is actually his 200th birthday, if he were still alive. unfortunately not. he was a man with incredible inventive skills. he is the first that created bright,pure,clean energy to burn the chemicals in the lab. hmmm.... how should i credit him? simply thanx won't do because he already passed away. maybe a remembrance will do him justice. think about it. without him, we are mostly suffocated ourselves in the labs doing those experiments because the gas produced will be sufficient to intoxicate us.

he is also the first guy to conduct electrolysis to extract pure metal form. ohhhh.....i know that! the electrolysis question came out during spm. and i kept wondering whether i had that chemistry question correct or not. what i am curious about is how do all these intelligent creatures manage to invent to many stuffs? no guideline, no rules, and no books to refer to. and yes, he did sacrifice his right eye due to chemical poison. for the sake of science. really earn my respect *bow*. come to think of it, chemistry is really fun when it comes to lab work but when the time sets in to do the report and solve equations, my brain will go disconnected. actually i am quite good in calculating the equations and reading the periodic tables but for the rest, i really tak tahu macam mana mahu buat.

i can still remember vividly that i will purposely stay late after chemistry class and ask my teacher, pn tan lay hua a lot of questions: both nonsense and practical. and she would reply: nothing is hard. it is the matter of whether you want to learn or not. although she is really advise me like my late grandma, i take it as a principle in life because she definitely has more experience. and for her dedication and trust in me, i mati mati study very hard just to get an A. not a fan of chemistry but for the sake of someone putting trust on you. =) this "grandma-like teacher" has retired unfortunately. for her trust in me, i will always remember her.

both are visionaries

to have a vision is a great thing to do. in life, to have vision helps because it helps you to stay focus and gives you the extra x factor to move forward.

but is the vision you have really affects the people around you? i am discussing about the visions that our politicians have at the moment. so ironic. the main purpose of having politicians is to establish the people's vision. and there shouldn't be any discrepancy because if everyone has the same thing in mind, why is there so much difference in opinions. the reason: everyone has a vision.

the person who is staying in power wants the votes and hence, to be able to sapu as much wealth as one can. this is the reality. try asking malaysian. they will tell you, of course la. it somehow becomes a norm. this cannot be tolerated. if we somehow believes this is the norm in life, part of us will begin to see this as alright. we must reject this unfair and unethical norm out of our lives.

try listening to the talks by nga kar ming. i am quite impressed with politicians. though they speak in chinese and talk about the historical chinese lessons in life. but somehow they make sense. well, i guess this must be the jobs of politicians. speak confidently and convincingly. what they need is logic and perspective. if the people feel right, they will vote for you. how easy?

me too have a vision but i don't want myself to resort to corruption and shoe licking dogs to get the job done. i would like to see my beloved state, melaka to go eco-tourism. somehow or ratherm i can imagine people cycling around the streets of melaka, especially the historical sites. if you plant more trees around the areas and restrict car access. i believe this can be a major business deal in times to come. people do really like some tranquility nowadays. the city life is so bloody packed that i think four and half years already make my head spinning round and round.

unfortunately, i dun believe in politics that much. seeing my own background. i think my chances are pretty slim. first, people will question: what is this? this chinese kampung boy couldn't even speak proper chinese...oppssss... i will be labeled as person who forgot his own roots. secondly, i dun like to ampu people. go to hell if you dislike my way of conducting stuff which can a BIG no no for the political arena. you must be able to please everyone. mati la mcm ini, i believe i will provoke more people than pleasing. =) this fails me as politician.

try watching some videos about them. it is really interesting. while i am taught to be critical thinker, these videos provide more insights to you. don't believe them blindly, just take them as reference and judge yourself. afterall, if the equation connects, logic comes.

blogger taking his time off doing homework by watching the flying high symbol talks =) (must be discrete, if not i will be caught)

tiger mom? says who?

i have just come across an article which writes about how an asian lady brought up in america by very strict parents. hence, she in return, treated her own children with the same treatment. to me, asians are always like that lar. so tough, even to the point i find where is the logic of being so strict. somehow this article brings back my own memory how i was used to force to memorise the multiplication table. actually i was kinda slow because i only finished that when i was 8. haha.... so much for the memorisation skill at such a young age.

actually, i hate anything to do with rote learning. but some experts are suggesting that pure rote learning isn't that bad for certain aspects such as mathematics and music skills. i was quite taken aback. does that mean i really have no talent in these two subjects? actually, it is the truth. i am good with numbers, just not excelling them. that's the reason finance seems so tough la.

in the article, the asian parents and even children are labeling american children spoiled. i can't agree less. although i have no such treatment after i entered primary school, i couldn't imagine children who are brought up without pressure from parents. will be quite a shock to me. the internal drive for me would be monetary( as promised by my late grandma). but i can't see any other reason for others to excel. pressure? pride? fun? challenging? the last one seem least likely. who learns to excel in a very young age unless pressured.

if i were to be a parent one day, i think i will be a strict one. trust me, i tolerate no nonsense. oppss.... maybe when i become a parent one day, i have different thinking. love them but don't spoil them. my mum never actually pressure me much with academics studies because she allows tv watching for 3 hours before examination day. i guess i am a lucky child. i always heard a friend telling me, " my mum keeps telling me to study. " and i would tell K, " my mum keeps pressuring me to sleep early. " with that, i rest my case. not all asian parents are tigers, just majority are. but mark my word, my mother also tolerate no nonsense for behaviour. if the number of canes are counted, i think both hands' fingers aren't enough.

blogger who is having thought whether finance could be mastered through pure memorisation. hell no! it requires genetics. can transfer him some? wait, what is genetics?

music airing at the moment: all i ever wanted by Train

happy birthday

this post is dedicated to a good friend of mine. it seems that time really flies because i haven't seen him for three years already. this good friend of mine is a very caring person in my opinion. for one, he always bring extra fruits to school. and sure enough, the first thick faced person to reach out is none other than me. haha.... since i have been so "kek ki" (hokkien) all this while, i felt that I should have dedicated a birthday post to him. really long time no see.

he is currently pursuing his dream of becoming a medical practitioner in india. i guess he is the most qualified among all my friends to be a doctor because he is a kind-hearted and helpful person. if i did remember correctly, he cried once over something which i find very menial. but of course, this shows his vulnerability and understanding of other's grief and pain. not to label my students nowadays as unprofessional of becoming doctors, but you really need the drive, passion and right attitude to this profession. and from what i heard, some are just monetary-motivated, career-minded and mostly status. hmmm...

people often tell me he is hard to understand. no, he is not. you just need to open your eyes wider and dig deeper in your heart and everything will come to light. not everyone has the same opinion i would say, but you can view it from different perspective. and i am definitely not saying this because he bribed me all this while with the fruits. it is because of his vision that he earns my respect this much.

hope he is doing fine. he's been busy and i have been busy. and when he went back malaysia, i am not around and vice versa. the ironic thing is we actually have the same surname. it is like first time in my life to meet a friend who shares a same surname with me. you can't understand if your surnames are wong, chan, lee, tan, ng and chua i presume. and he is just only 2 days older than me. perfect, because he really has the big brother characters.

Happy Birthday! Chat with me sometimes lar, i know you are very busy.

blogger is listening: 膽小鬼 by gigi leung =)

game of love or love for game

when i first read the message display majestically on the wall, i chuckled to myself. wow, this game must be very interesting.

"I heard you're a player. So let’s play a game. Let’s sweet talk. Let’s play fight. Let’s talk 24/7. Let’s tell each other good morning and good night every day. Let’s take walks together. Let’s give each other nicknames. Let’s hang out with each others’ friends. Let’s go on dates. Let’s talk on the phone all night long. Let’s hold each other. Let’s kiss and hug. And whoever falls in love first... Loses......" (Lai, 2011)

think about it. might be worth a try after all. it should not result in a winner or loser but should create the one hopelessly romantically in love and one person who doesn't know oneself is in love. =) dangerously enticing i would say. have fun trying.

blogger is spreading the game of love.....

truth

i couldn't agree more with the star columnists. label me as bias and i still will say the star papers have one of the greatest columnists. they are very critical in their writings and give much to ponder especially for the general malaysians. be prepared to learn from them.

accept the truth instead of staying in your own comfort zone. it is true that the english standards are slipping. i find myself not learning much in secondary schools. i will tell you these. those majority who score As for malaysian papers should not be so proud of yourself. if you are a hardworking students and great memory skills, an A is in your hand. and still i can't fathom why some students refuse to learn. so as to call themselves the nationalists. learn their mother tongues is of importance. yeah right. the language nationalist. i call that coward.

be ready to embrace globalisation my fellow malaysians. take it as a challenge. nothing is too hard, other than finance though =S there is nothing wrong being comfortable with your own mother tongue. learning another medium is not bad either. in one way, you are broadening your social network. get to know more people and be more confident about yourself. everything to gain but nothing to lose. i can still remember how shy i was back in form 2 when i started an English lesson with a private tutor. apparently, all the students are like very fluent with their speech. grammar almost perfect and the flow is as smooth as the silk. i was slightly taken aback last time. honestly, if you are willing to get out of your comfort zone, people will appreciate your effort to learn. be ready to be corrected and thick faced. the transition is not easy, trust me. i have come from a mandarin speaking family and grown up with majority Malay speaking friends.

i can't claim myself as a fluent english speaker but i now can construct proper sentence and occasionally realise to correct my own sentence. but i have a bad habit. i tend to speak to friends with the language they are comfortable with. i don't enforce a rule that you have to speak english with me. the transition is almost instinctive. i still have this habit of conversing in english with friends from non-chinese background though they speak mandarin well. the hokien will call this a "piak". hard to get away from. there is this time my friend was getting frustrated with me because i always speak english with him though he is trying to learn mandarin. i was like... "sorry, i can't. when i see you, the medium of language automatically switches to english".

yes, one more thing. i strongly recommend you reading musings column written by marina mahathir. despite having such a profound background, she is very humble and liberal in her writing. one of my few respected malaysian figures. she is always involved herself with humanitarian work especially in empowering and protecting women. she has so much to offer. hopefully in the future, more people would be like her and this world should be a better place for everyone to live in.

blogger is listening to himself monologuing.

press release

apa benda ini? i have an assignment to write a press release. i was thinking, is it really necessary. perhaps, if i become a CEO or someone important. XD (fingers cross) it is a short memo about business announcement written to the journalist. the assignment is kinda interesting but considering the fact that it is concerned with business stuff, it takes all the fun away.

if i were to opt for second choice after accounting/finance, it would be journalism or hospitality tourism. people will look at me with eyes wide, why the stark difference? reason being i am not really those office person but i can deal with it if it pays handsomely. and journalism is a very competitive field. i find no prospect in the future. but if i were to be able to combine business and journalism, that would be great too. business journalist for the times, the economist and fortune would be nice, in your dream la. it would be too early for a dream anyway. might as well come back to the reality.

i have a lot of things to complete today but i have been wandering aimlessly here and there and everywhere. i did research on the merging companies but they are not of my particular interest. if want to make it newsworthy for the journalist, should pick up something like casino or hotel. of all the business entities, they pick tv satellite stations. apa lar. and the tone is so formal. might as well write a business article for you.

recently, natural disasters are striking more frequently. hope that everyone is doing fine. in times like this, just be patient and pray. i believe this is the best way to overcome it. it is very eye catching to note that everyone is posting something like, "we want peace". and if 10 million people sign up to your link, what are you going to do? send the petition to your Creator? i can understand you want a disaster free day but peace and natural disaster don't link in anyway, people. natural disaster comes as it will, goes as it does. =.= this facebook postings are driving me crazy. at one point, everyone is posting the radiation leak that might come in the form of rain hence, everyone should wear protection raincoat. i was like +_-

these people must be those who go to school but never really pay attention. who tells you that radiation substance travels that far. creating panic is a sin you know. i don't know what is the agenda behind creating this fallacy. there is a certain radius from the nuclear reaction, people. try to judge for yourself before posting everything people tell you like a baka.

then, this friend lagi funny, almost giving me a shock. suddenly ask me, are we dying? i seriously "tiok cuak" when he asked me the other day. be calm my friend. if you ask me this question everyday, even though there is no disaster, i will say yes. who knows what is going to happen tomorrow and we are actually dying sooner as every second passes. try to enjoy the moment of living and when it is time for you to go, you shall have no regret.

as i say before, it is not the miles in the journey or the destination of the journey that are important, the most important thing is the moment along the journey. let's take a moment and dance along with it. =)

blogger is listening to : 你的眼睛背叛你的心

sin of the past

sometimes i do really wonder did i do something that make me owe someone's kindness in my previous life. when you watch tv a lot, you always hear the person saying i will repay your kindness and good deed in my next life. can't be bothered to think so much at times. my friend used to tell me don't think so much in life. but can you really afford not to think that much when it may cause you not to sleep at night.

initially, i was planning to sleep early tonight but then i received a sms from my sis. she was actually crying on the phone over an argument with my mum. sometimes i do think my mum is overboard. dun you ever dare think i am an unfilial son. because if i tell you she really expects us, the children to contribute a lot in family life. not her fault because i blame it on her commitment to her family. i really sometimes think my aunt and grandma are pushing the limit. when you ask for favours, aren't you supposed to be reasonable to a certain extent but they are demanding the now. this kind of attitude really puts my mum at a very agitated position. and when my mum is frustrated, even i become her victim of complaints and disagreement. even got one point when i refuse to barge down, she still scold me. so i stop listening to what she said. i just listen to my heart.

so i can understand perfectly my sister's position. not only she wants you to do it her own style, she expects instant action. what do you think we are? even superman rests at times. although she doesn't expect me that much, she expects a lot from my older sister. sometimes, i do think my mum is biased. she always ask me and my sister to run the family errands but she forgets at times she has another son. hence, i always tell my mum, please be fair. i do not demand preferential treatment, i demand fairness. obviously, she told me she was not. hmmmm.... i am a person with logic and when i think the equation is out of order, be sure to hear it out right from me. hence, my constant argument with her again last summer. i can't seem to understand my mum sometimes.

with my sister crying over the phone, it really bogs me down a little bit. when is the condition going to get better. people always thought i am very care free. i tell you once again, i am not. as i always have to think so much in life, when i am out of there, i really need to be mind blank. i think i stand pretty well because i point out very clearly in life that i have my certain stands in life. if you want to be heard, make sure it is expressed clearly. or else, people are just going to push you here and there. that's why i guess some people can feel my aura of stubbornness. yes, i am stubborn. i do admit. but for everything i do, there must be a reason to it.

not to say i hate my mum or anything, she is a very loving and caring mum. she always know how to shower her love in means like cooking and making a fuss all over me. but then, her point of view and mine always differ. to her, everything just has to be simple. you should not expect too much in life. be ordinary. yes, that's the word. and ordinary is a BIG NO for me. i refuse to be the person with small achievement and be happy with it. i want to be somebody. still, i think i have a way to achieve an amicable solution. i just tell her what i want and from that time onward,she begins to accept who i want to be.

at times, i think i can be writing quite a dramatic family story if i were to pen down my story line. really dramatic that if i were to tell all over again, i will bet with my wealth that you are going to be shock. seriously, people who heard it before had only silence as a reaction. and i take it as it is. i always read the newspaper and the typical gen Y doesn't really suit me. i think i endure too much in this stupid life and i think i am gen Y person living the baby boomer life. life is hard. since when it was easy? can you please tell me. one more thing, people nowadays should stop complaining. bear with it. have you learned the word patience and endurance even just for awhile? if you dun, i believe, it is time to learn. do not be a fussy person because nobody wants to hear it and the person who pretends to enjoy listening to them are fake friends. seriously..... unless the people are your besties.

i really want to have a care-free life. sometimes, i just don't feel like living because it serves no real purpose at all. but at times, i find life interesting just the way it is. maybe, i have yet to find my goal in life because if i were to choose to be reborn or not, definitely choose the latter. being alive is not as interesting as you think it is. in the end, we will just be dead anyway. why bother living? haha, dun worry, this is definitely not a suicidal note. just my point of view of life.

seems like a circle of life, round and round. hopefully there it is journey with a destination.

inspirational chat, freshie opinion

today is discovery sydney day. i wondered why i woke up so early to attend the event because only a few members turned up. oh well, life carries on and there i was sitting with a total stranger from chocolate society whom is the president. actually i met him before and the last time we met, we were playing mahjong. haha.... kind of a coincidence. but come to think of it, today i did talk a lot. the more i talk to this guy, the more i felt he is really humble. multi talented and he just brushed aside as "it's not really that much" okay, the not really that much happens to be he played the violin, the piano and he is currently studying diploma for the piano. he is studying international studies plus law degree and he tutors part time for mathematical studies. additionally, he is the pres for chocolate society. a lot of things at hand, don't you think?

somehow, i feel very cacat because the people around are really striving their best to excel in this society while i kinda still floating around, thinking what should i do after my degree. hmmmm.... i am not comparing, for goodness sake, sometimes i feel that i have not given my best to push myself further. take for example, i was literally finding jobs since i was like in year 1 itself but the only job i been through was the kitchen hand/waiter which pays shit and i was fired for being not quick enough. what...... luckily, there is this girl who told me, don't work there, it doesn't deserve that little pay. i somehow agree.

to top it of, this girl i was talking to was pretty amazing herself. if i were her, i will feel like i have done a lot of awesome things in life. she has just completed her internship in Chile for a company whose vision that believes that venture capitalist provides better than any entrepreneurs and the company is for non-profit goal. what is venture capitalist again?

she was there to do modelling, statistics and stuffs. i was like wow..... i think my mouth must have opened pretty wide by then. this girl is actually very tough as the reason her dad allowed her to go to Chile was because she is going with a friend. And by week 2, her friend had to leave due to family matter and her dad was like convincing her to come back but she insisted her to stay. can you imagine like her dad even bribed her with an all expense paid europe trip for her just to come back and she said NO. speaks volume itself for her persistence. she is also very busy, tutoring and being an international student ambassador. and she promised to help me to look for a vacancy for that position if it happens to have one later on. Thank you! Should have known her earlier because she said she used to know the Head tutor for the tutor position i was applying last year. Cis, my chance just flew out like that. Oh, btw, she is also an Excel assistant for the university. Good to know her.

just talking to these two people makes me feel that maybe i should push myself harder. it's true. you are only young once, if you dun work hard now, when shall you do it?

blogger is thinking of getting is priority right again.

ps: it is kinda scary to note that earthquake in Japan is estimated to kill thousands of lives. i was hoping the post not too long ago about possible natural disasters will make things turn around because some people told me if you said it maybe the real things might not happen. perhaps not, my voice is not loud enough to stop them from happening. Be strong, nippon.

reminiscence

when i was counting the SUAMS inventory this morning, i felt like doing stocktake all over again.... apa lar.... i was like. i felt that i have done this before. then the feeling of counting the myriads of stuff really resembles the feeling i had when stocktaking in the chicken factory and cloth factory. however, the inventory somehow felt easier because i do not have to talk around and ask a lot of questions. wonderful. i felt in control and relax because there will not be any accountability issue. wheeee.....

the new drama i am watching is "in the eye of the beholder". kinda nice because it revolves china history about an intelligent scholar. hmmm, not bad but there is just too much poem recitals which i do not seem to understand at all. =.= and the interesting i like would be "chan hai pat nang mut yao lei" (cantonese). bagus bagus... can try to use next time... haha but i will be expecting the blur face from my friends XD

blogger is feeling excited because tomorrow is Badminton day. his legs are trembling in excitement. hohoho....

the classic, the best

when i went home this around, i came across a compilation of love songs. 6 CDs in total. The album belongs to my sister. She said the album consists of love songs sang by older music artists. True enough, I used to listen to them quite a long time ago. Suddenly, I fell in love again. Pai seh, I really can't read what it was written on the album. Chinese songs. But the songs are simply awesome.

Nice, soothing and the voice is very distinctive. I really look forward to singer with a very distinctive voice because I think such singer only comes once a very long time. A good example would be MJ. There is a few others. But I think it would be nice if more such artists came out instead of the current music industry which I find totally depends on their appearances more, charming all the teenage girls away. hmmm.... do you know what is music? it is for listening, girls. not for you to look and admire their faces on the front cover of their albums. shake head.

i always have this blur face when somebody asks me, you know that song... errr, i know by heart by didn't know by singer or title. so, how i download their songs. the answer is I don't. If I happen listen to the song that I really like and another friend or family member who happens to be around, then only I will write down their title and search for it later. typical chee seng. i guess people will say, apa lar, like this also can ar... why not? i live the life that i like.

besides, i play the album during my audit work period with a few seniors. and two seniors, at different times, tell me the same thing, " Hey, these songs seem to belong to my generation more." I just smile politely. i think if the songs are of good music, they should last eternally.

blogger who refuses to listen to the music of his generation because he finds majority is plain old silly =)

welcoming event

a day filled with so many activities that i don't have time to catch my breath. i went to look for shop that is willing to upgrade my phone as well as current mobile plan which is so hard, luckily me and my friend asked around. and to my humour, at one point, if i had just take a look at my right, i would have saved myself and my friend half an hour of searching time. what a joke. lesson no. 1: sometimes you really have to look left and right before you take the next time. well, lesson learnt.

suams had organised a welcoming event for the new members. i am in charged of food preparation. i had to deep fry the samosa. and to my embarrassment, another friend's friend had to teach me how to deep fry that samosa because i never really cook it before. well, thanx to whoever he is. seems like his name is jason i think, a singaporean. plus, he was actually rushing to his own dinner event but he took the time to show my how to cook the samosa. okay, next time i am going to be as independent as possible.

during this event, i actually noticed quite a few things. some people get stressed out, while some are too happy go lucky and some are simply irresponsible. if you really want my honest opinion, i think everyone will be quite unhappy. so, i just keep quiet and do my things because a word less talked is one more work gets done. in the end, everyone ends up lining up waiting for the food. hope you all dun "lao sai" after eating the food okay? i actually insisted the food to be cooked longer but someone said otherwise. okay lor, you are the boss. in the middle of it, i manage to interrupt for fear that someone's stomach cannot handle 90% cooked food. hmmm.... but i felt fine till now. so i guess the rest of them should be fine too. i think the event is too rushed and not planned well enough because underestimation of time is a big factor in event planning. i thought i did not as well i think i did for diwali but this time, it is worse. sure will get a lot of advice in the next meeting. habis lar aku.

blogger feels that if you have done your part, can you skip the meeting so as to claim yourself as error-free? maybe not.

tired....

i am kinda tired... it must be due to lack of rest during last holidays. apparently, i felt like sleeping the whole time. can i choose not to wake up ar? haha....just kidding. i want to wake up but just at the time i am well rested. at night, i couldn't sleep well. don't know why, blame the time difference. today went to golden fang for the first time in 2011.... such long time didn't step foot into the restaurant already because my friends kinda get bored with that old restaurant after visiting for the n times in year 1.

talked with mr ng @ thou shall not be named for so long which i lost track of time. good, at least i am not stuck in my room watching dramas... actually, i did want to start doing my homework but kinda tired. hope my mood will turn around this coming friday. hey, friday is coming. i want to play badminton. need to flex the muscles a bit. feel stiff at the current moment.

during last summer, i learnt an important perspective. in life, when you are doing good deeds, you do not have to mention about it because it serves you no merit for telling. just do it and keep silent about it. even if the rest of world doesn't know, it's okay. you know it yourself and someone up there shall know about it too. trust me, what goes around will come around again one day even if the coming around might take a while and at times you are least expected. i share this with you because this friend told me about how unappreciative someone can be at times. i understand because i happen to have someone of that sort in my life. but bear with it, one day, he/she will learn your good when really trying times come.

with this, the blogger ends his storytelling and intends to continue his hong kong drama and sleep. what about homework? nah, life isn't about homework all the time....