be a butterfly

sometimes i have the thought to become butterfly. weird, isn't it? i myself find it weird the reason i want to be a butterfly. perhaps the reason could be for my yearning for freedom, graceful, or dance.

perhaps freedom is more accurate. i just want to be free from anything. the desire for money can be powerful at times which makes me soulless yet money is the necessary evil in order to survive in this world. by becoming a butterfly, i can sway from flower to flower without a care to a world that seems oblivious towards the real purpose of existence.

is everyone just want to live life to its fullest then die? yeah. majority people do, even for me. i want to travel, i want money, i want a career and i want so many things. but obviously the constant yearn for such a thing can be arduous. but what happens to i want peace, i want comfort and i want to have no desire for worldly stuff. weird isn't, i have an out-of-ordinary thinking. but despite my thinking, i am living a life of an ordinary citizen fulfilling the ordinary dreams of the masses.

perhaps the picture below shows that freedom is not so hard to get afterall. it is always in the mind that gives you the perception of freedom. if only wish is granted upon the falling star.

make me a butterfly and make me fly out of this world.

2012

this upcoming year, hopefully will be a rocking year for me. i plan to watch the new year fireworks in sydney before flying back home. weeee.....(i heard the fireworks are as awesome as the picture depicted)

moreover, yours truly will be going to taiwan. i kept hearing this year from friends that this place is such a food haven. with its myriad type and affordable food, i think it will be fantastic. my life is 50% about good food. dun disappoint me, taiwan. people always say shop till you drop but i prefer to eat till you can't move. maybe i can get a little cny shopping done in taiwan since i did not buy any clothes in sydney this year. been curtailing my spending to go for trips.

this morning, i am so excited that i tell my housemate i am going to taiwan and after that, i started searching sites about taiwan. wth. i totally forget that i have a mid semester exam on wednesday. hoho... excited, excited, excited (i am so excited ♪ ♫ ♩ ♬ ). going through a web checking out the food pictures... *drooling. january please comes faster.

blogger is so excited and from the definition of wikipedia (lame), excited can literally mean very enthusiastic or sexually aroused. okay, maybe he should be more careful of his choice of word next time. from sydney with love.

taste of music

please dun stop the music by rihanna is definitely one of the few popular songs which comes to mind when one wonders. but to me such catchy song is only temporarily hit song. will anyone listen it again 5 years down the road other than it being lambasted in the clubs on your ordinary saturday evening?

for me, music has to be able to soothe the soul, calm the mind and memorable. two years back, i got a question from a friend, "why all your songs are so sad?" hmmm.... if i remember correctly, i answered her, "where got?" surprisingly, this petite chinese lady understand perfectly my malaysian slang. she mentioned her prior secondary education in singapore before heading sydney. well, i dunno what to say. i like songs which are naturally sad and involves the element of relationship, love, break up and emotional. why? maybe because my relationship, love, break up and emotional experiences are lacking. haha....

nod, nod. what to do? never pak toh before ma. how do you expect me to react? i even asked a close friend before how does it feel to be in love. she said it is something to do with your actions that say much about your status of being in love. one, you would want to see the person frequently. second, you want to share everything with the partner. third, your hearts go sour when you don't get to see the person.

okay, i am definitely not in love before. as simple as that. statistically speaking, two friends told me it is not worth to be in love if it ends up bad because the suffering is unbearable. hmmm... can't comment on that. but always thought it got to do with your heart. if your heartbeat quickens, it is a sign? i definitely have that some point in my life. dun worry, it is not recent.

so next time i can tell other people, my taste of music reflects my desperation search for love. =) what a big laugh because i have definitely put no effort in searching the right one plus my every effort in constant avoidance to be alone with another individual. i feel awkward unless the person is a friend.

blogger feels that life is the constant search for something which no one knows what the thing is.

MC

it is often a wonder how i end up being an emcee. is it because i am gossiper? i am funny? or i am just being plain spontaneous? today, there is a volunteer job for male emcee. i am actually a bit shy to take up the job because the event will be attended by almost 300 people. wow. banyaknya orang! anyway, i have volunteered myself because when my president was asking, "anyone interested to volunteer?" and almost everyone in the committee is looking at me. okay, that's how i volunteer myself.

one note: i heard my MC partner is a very pretty girl. okay la, not all is loss i think. hehe...

actually i thought i am just being at the right place and right time to be selected. to me, MC is not a hassle, if i have something to say. luckily, i kept it a secret that I have co-hosted with several other people for a charity event back in malaysia when i was in form 4, if not my committee is very likely to ask me to host the ADND (annual dance and dinner) The first charity i hosted is attended by almost 300 guests as well. my first MC work is pretty taxing because i have to be bilingual being mandarin and english. with my partial chinese speaking ability, i have to act funny on stage to compensate for my lack of chinese proficiency =S. looking back, it

is really quite enjoyable. and that time, my hair was sprayed with purple and slight pink plus glitter. okay, i shall not put any more details. overall was a nice learning experience.

this time around, it will be for mooncake festival. okay people, be ready. chee seng is going to rock your world on Mooncake Festival!

blogger feeling excited and nervous at the same time.

bullshiting

certain party is being unreasonable. what has honest view got to do with your family background. i felt so angry that marina mahathir has been put to such a position. she has given views that is far more forward looking than her father. why must a child follow what the father said. apa mudah lupa? you, the ignorant one should reflect upon yourself. look at her contributions to the country. her tributes for fighting against AIDS for one is very credible indeed. compare to her, what have you done encik RK. talking about shame. you are the one should be shameful for standing behind protected policy and championing those rights. for a person without contribution and intelligence, such a comment is an insult to oneself.

dia tak lupa diri, cuma kamu yang tak sedar diri.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/8/20/nation/9338424&sec=nation

dare to ask people to declare her asset? why don't you declare your asset first? see whose right and whose wrong. a person with critical thinking skill is very much appreciated, a person without should just keep opinion to himself.

note to the rest of malaysians, please speak wisely. do not put oneself to shame. that is the least you can do for not contributing towards the nation development. and marina mahathir happens to be one of the respected member of the community. a great asset.

blogger feeling weird for reading an article that speaks badly about a great human being from a person with no brain.

this article is written for a better Malaysia. for those who can't take it, suck it up and grow up.

i see red today

today is really a hell of a day. i was crossing the road in front of my house with one hand checking my mobile. after crossing, i heard a yell. i turned up my head and saw one lady flied off. wow. that is really shocking. then it took me awhile to notice what it was. a car just knocked a lady off. and the image of the woman flying off is still on my mind.

my reaction was quite slow. i waited awhile, digesting the picture in front of me before rushing for her assistance. by the time i arrived, there is a few people gathering around her. someone was calling the ambulance. from what i could see, she is fine. no blood, no injury. she claimed she was alright. but the car's windscreen was terribly cracked. i hope she was alright. fortunately the passerby and the driver insisted she waited for the ambulance.

truly a shock to me because i always cross the road. thinking back, it still sends chill down my spine. i will be more careful the next time. promise.

today is also a unique day. after much persuasion, coercion or force, i decided to donate blood. the blood donation system here works pretty good. first, you make an appointment with a telephone receptionist to tell you about your eligibility to donate. you must not be sick, take any medicine or have unprotected sexual intercourse. (thats what i learn). if not, you become illegible as a blood donor. the wind was particularly strong while waiting and the sudden drizzle further made me wonder did i make a bad decision.

luckily, the person overseeing our form is very friendly so do the interviewer and nurse

. to sum it all, the staff there is very warm and nice. and there was this particular guy who guess my chinese surname. too bad, he guessed it wrong. of course, coming from Malaysia, my surname doesn't strictly follow the exact han yu pin yin. i have to explain why my surname was such and such. he thought we have the same "xu" at first. then i said nope. he showed me two different surnames. i pointed out that my surname is particularly rare and he agreed. =)

the moment the nurse poked the needle, i wasn't paying attention. by the time i realised how thick the needle was, i almost fainted there and there. luckily, i just relax, breathe in, breathe out. everything was fine. i think it was not painful at all, just a slight irritation on your skin. it feels like something crawling underneath your skin. haha. and one note: drink a lot of water before blood donation. it is like a rule. anything less than 4 glasses of water, you will be turned down.

i realise today there are a lot of people donating blood. i wonder is

it because their level of civic is higher or is it because their Australians generally have caring hearts. either way, it is a good thing. in my opinion, part of the reason is it doesn't take that long to donate here. around 1 hour. the staff definitely makes the process easier. thumbs up. i love the concept of having a caravan style like donation center. although it is occasional visit, it is still the thought that counts and increasing the level of awareness of the general public. and i am proud to say that, "My name is Chee Seng and I am a first time blood donor". oh yea, i got a sticker on my shirt as well. =)

another good news:i am taller. when i came here to sydney, i was 171. measuring my height yesterday, i am 173. hoho... i am still growing.

blooger is feeling good for participating in a community service

conflict of interest

recently, the extra curricular has given me much anxiety. although it won't affect me directly, i feel slight discomfort by it. and majority of reason is not even my uni club's own doing. if for the first time, i feel this might be misunderstanding. but for the second time, i feel there must be backstabbing. why are they doing stuff behind our back? hmmm, actually i am fine with it. since first, i don't have to do anything and secondly, i have no interest in going the clubbing event anyway.

the rest of committee is quite unhappy about it. in my opinion, nothing is wrong if you get equal profit even though you do less work. but i think my club has very strong desire to be in control and wants to participate actively. okay la. now i certainly can feel the pressure even though it is just society stuff? apa ni? politics within university itself. i dun really know the other clubs' committee but i just want to remain neutral. saying an opinion might lead to more disaster.

talking about conflict of interest, that facebook has created trouble for me recently as well. beh jiap siew. suddenly cannot log in. but i am perfectly fine logging in in university. the thought of deactivating it has been on my mind for quite a while. the things i will be missing: the PHOTOS, someone's birthday and occasional chit chat with fnf. do you know what is fnf? and also societal stuff which requires active fb monitoring =S

i found a nice show a few days back. it features a singing competition which requires celebrity to remember the lyrics. nice man although i cannot understand those mandarin lyrics at all. weird but true. this is my "guai piak" like listening to something i completely understand. why must you understand the lyrics? isn't it all about the music? the show brings back childhood memory. i used to hear my mum singing hokkien songs. sadly, i am not such a big fan of hokkien songs just a few popular ones( not to mention 'wa ehhh hokkien ueh only beh pai). they are really good. listening them back really bring back those moment.

blogger feels whimsical

saya anak ............

it is interesting to listen to certain chorus in the radio. i was curious. is there such a song. i guess, the media is really vast and wide. a random check on the sensational youtube would astound you. not bad i should say. quite a nice song. funky plus funny. Saya pun nak makan durian!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5h6KrRkbzc

blogger is craving for the thorny fruit but is so put off by a supermarket which sells frozen durians =S

the intensity

at the moment i am blogging, the match between lin dan and lee chong wei is still going on for the throne of champion of badminton championship. the reason i am writing is i am too gan cheong to watch the match and i cannot do anything else. any idea what syndrome i have? i also don't know. the malay will say tak boleh duduk diam. but i just can't phrase it.

blogger hoping datuk lee chong wei will win the title of badminton championship in london.

the early riser

today must be the day the sun rises any other direction from east. with 7 am clock ticking away, i thought i was rather early to wake up at such an hour on a sunday. even when class

starts at 9am on the usual weekdays, i wakes up at 8am. a hunch tells me the jogging i did yesterday has made more active. now i believe my friend when he said, " you will never believe how more energetic you can be after the early jog". you win. not only that i spent the whole day outdoors yesterday, i wakes up early.

this early rise makes me wonder what can i do with the extra hour i save. haha. as a firm believer that sleeping is a waste of time, i resort to drama-watching. i have stopped my hobby for one day =) today marks the 4th week of my final semester. time really just passes by.

i think studies is okay. although a few subjects require huge demand, i just will work hard and study smart. i stop complaining as all the complaints only take up your time unnecessarily. rather than doing that, it is best to do something about it like asking for help, discussing with a friend or read extra materials. the latter one is quite hard considering the fact i already have 2 8 cm thick books. i can't deny tax law is interesting, the amount of work is just more than i expect. phew. am i complaining? i hope not. i am only 22 and the label "uncle" doesn't suit me.

oh ya, recently, i am as busy as a bee, buzzing around society stuff and assignment. i am in charge with another 2 members to hold a Mooncake Festival. Quite looking forward to that. Just a big question mark on my head now is "What is a risk assessment report?" When I was asked to do it, I said okay without considering the actual fact that I have no idea what it is. Maybe it is time to learn I guess. anyone wants to give me an idea?

a housemate left yesterday to christmas island to work as a waitress. actually i kind of half appreciating, half sympathizing for the fact that she is working hard to support her life. appreciation as she really hopes to get the job, sympathy as i would not even take the job if given the opportunity. however, it makes me a little bit more grateful towards life. a book reads that in life, it is not how much you possess that defines life. it is how much you appreciate that defines you. yeah. i think life is like that. i am still a beginner in learning. hopefully i say is what i preach in life. i want to stop wanting and be contented with life.

ngor hai hui chi seng, signing off. =)

(Images are sourced from G-Image)

sien dao bao

i have definitely read these words from some of my friends' posts before. i am not a person who uses such words because i am in the belief that time is short. today, i really feel that way. i was checking through my drama websites, manga updates, anime updates, blog updates and even newspapers updates. can you sense my desperation? i check these everyday but to top it with a saturday, everything just feel too little. my constant seek for instant gratification has put into a new generation that constantly needs to be satisfied. oh shit. thats definitely not the way to lead my life. i think i need a new goal. with a new goal, comes new priority and tasks.

i am very active in society. i am 80% confident that paintball is the next thing on my schedule. kinda excited because i get to try a different sports for once. i never get sick of sports although i am playing badminton every friday. i find that exercising is like my oxygen in life. without it, i will die. paintball, here i come!

is it me or does the time tick faster these days? my mum just told me it is the 7th month in the chinese calendar which means it is almost time for the hungry ghost festival again. including this year, i have missed my third hungry ghost festival. actually, i used to like this festival. as a child, i get to run around without my parents supervision, play video games at my neighbour's house until midnight for the reason burning silver papers takes place at 12am and meet my relatives. it is like a gotong royong thingy for my neighbourhood. this spirit is seldom seen in other places. dun even mention city like kl, i think most of malacca villages do not carry out anymore. people always say, "ma fan, so much to do, sui bian, no time". do you ever think that such a festival is a culture within a society. to lose such a rich heritage would be like losing your identity.

but it is fathomable as society today has very much seeded with materialism in their mind. i dun mean everyone just more and more people are forgetting their roots. if your children ask you next time, would you be able to tell them what is hungry ghost festival? i bet you can just say, "ohh, it serves the purpose of feeding the hungry ghosts who are released during the month but it is rarely practised already. dun worry about it." i hope such a reply will not be given to the future generation. even if you do not believe the existence of ghosts, carrying out such a ritual is a sign of respect and remembrance of those who have left the earth. worse are those who do not even know what is hungry ghost festival and have to "google" it in order to explain. epic fail. who is the banana now? me or you?

my final semester has started which sends me freaking out. why so fast one? next year, i won't be here anymore. the thought of searching for jobs comes through my mind. i am quite sure what i want. i want to be a banker. haha. audit is okay but will be my final option. luckily, i did not tell my auditing lecturer/tutor the other day that i am putting auditor as my final option. if not, i will be definitely brainwashed. still, i like her a lot, she is the most passionate educator i have ever met in my life. trust me. i am pretty much energetic and passionate myself. to receive the word passionate from me, the person must be jumping wild, talking excitedly and jokes. good good. at least, i have a good memory of a good lecturer that i can tell my friends next time. angela is fantastic!

blogger playing the thought how should a banker act. can you tell me? is it like the person below?

(the pictures are sourced from Google Image, 2011)