f la

there is this saying "masuk kandang kambing mengembek, masuk kandang kerbau menguak". as i am new in my working place, adapting to the working culture is a definite. but i cannot agree with the saying above.

throughout my two weeks working at client's place, i am so used to my colleagues cursing around. though i am so used to curses, i am a bit distracted by the level of curses being flown around. of course, they meant it as joke and as a way to release some dissatisfaction. but i take it differently. i laugh and smile when they do that. when i mean different level, it means higher level. if you know vulgarities well, you should be able to decipher TMCH. cantonese. if you care to understand the meaning of it, i feel disgusted. what has it got to do with that.

i jokingly tell my colleagues i might request for engagement transfer due to bad influence. and they laugh. they blame the cursing to their previous seniors who have influenced them. wah, i am at danger as well. i generally don't use expletive words, not that harsh at least. 

the act of me not really adapting well to that might have caused discomfort but i am not at a position to accept it as it comes. i need to be firm because influence or not, it still sounds harsh. 

blogger thought that he is in working environment where harsh words are only for those uneducated. perhaps, he is wrong after all.  

efficient friend

it is indeed a surprise even to myself sometimes. i know a lot about my friends whereabouts and what are they doing. yesterday, i got to know a friend who has resigned 2 weeks ago. i consider myself a bit out-of-date. so i was curious enough to msg my friend. she told me, "actually you know the news way earlier than you should". i was like =O. she actually tell no one about her resignation. she will announce it on 2nd of April.

so how the hell do i know she resigned? it is by a twist of fate. the EY support team has mistakenly directed all her mails to me all this while. so, i keep receiving her emails every now and then. yesterday, i notice there is a english test that everyone should complete by mid-April. so i called the IT support team to let them know about this mistake. the replied came and told me to ignore the recipient because she has resigned.

see, sometimes i am not that kepoh you know. i just know it accidentally. and people have the tendency to think that i go and ask everything. i am not that free and i just listen from others or get to know it accidentally.

hence, there comes my efficiency as a friend. i get to know much news. if you want to know about others, can call me up. but next time, i am going to charge you 50 cents per news. i am in a dire strait for money to pay rent and car loan. every single penny counts. there is saying " there should not be a price tagged in friendship" but when it concerns friendship news, it comes with a price. You may quote me. haha (KHOR, 2012).

as one ages

if there is anything that comes to my mind for my 23rd birthday, it is definitely relates to my expectation with life.

i learn to expect less from life. i just want to feel satisfied. i want to live more simply and fulfilling. friendship is not built in a day, so i want friendships which stand the test of the time rather than the hi and bye.

networking is of different level thing. you smile but it contains no sincerity and with intention. with that, i call it friendship with terms and conditions. you are there to help and lift each other career wise.

blogger is thinking that it is okay to life simply but one must fill it with inspiration.

Goodbye

At times you wonder why you have friends who are so different from you. It is not that the world is so small that you have to befriend them. But, I think it all comes to one word: fate. You never know who will you come across, who will be your enemy and who will be your friends for forever until the last moment you take your last breath.

I am particularly curious what my circle of friends think of me. The usual one would the cheerful one and the loud one. These two characteristics are what friends always say about me. I chuckled loudly when I read my yearbook which a friend wrote, “You talk loud, laugh even louder, and scold people the loudest”. Interesting, I guess I live up to my branding pretty well. I love to laugh, I love to talk and I love to be heard. This was my social marketing strategy.

But the thing is I have friends who are arrogant, weird and quiet. If I roll back to my early secondary school life, these friends will definitely not make to the list of what I would describe as friends. I will call them my classmates or schoolmates. With time passing, I have reduced my social expectation of what constitutes a friend. Maybe, I am kinder, maybe I am lonely, and maybe I just wish to talk. 

Recently, the idea popped up again. It is time to raise the bar of social expectation. Reason being, I think I grew tired of being the clown anymore. I wish to talk less, think more. Laugh softer, hide my emotions more. I don’t know how the ideas come about but one thing for sure, I want to be different. What do I get in return for being a clown? Nothing, I always have to be the receiving end. I should just be more “siow sa” aka cool in disconnecting friendship. I only wish to be associated which friends I can click. No harm doing that right? What’s wrong with emphasizing quality rather than quantity.

The first step should be start deleting unnecessary contacts on my facebook. The second step is stop responding to unnecessary phone calls for yum cha. But to be honest, those who ask me for yum cha are true friends la. So, yum cha culture lives on.

In reviewing my past friendships, I tend to be the cincai one. Where one friend says lets go this, I would say yes and they expect me to say yes. Actually I love to go out with friends but not to attend events. So I gain some, I lose some. Now, I should be fussier. Fling some power into action. Keep silent for the whole gathering will really make a statement for myself. This is because I want to get used to my working life and act professionally. This is no resolution but I promise I will do my best.

Blogger wishing that he can be himself without being the losing end. Say goodbye to the old him and welcome the new him.