the boy who daydreams

it had not been a habit of daydreaming for quite a while. if i daydream, i usually feel tired, sad and probably a little lost. not too long ago, a friend pointed out (so directly) that i was daydreaming when i was talking to her. i stunned for awhile. when i got myself collected, i thought, "yeah, it's probably true." i brushed it off as being tired. ever since i started working, i felt tired. i wonder where is all my energy. i felt like an old man. tired all the time.

part of me wants to blame the job but i think i have an answer already. a person today guided me today. he said i am always being haunted by my past. my inability to let go of my past is starting to make my perspective dim. in order to get myself out of this, i need to learn to accept the past and take it as it is and be more accepting of another person's weakness.

i find this a bitter pill to swallow. as much as i would like to deny this, i know it is true. i often think my past is an disadvantage to me. but it never has been the case till now. i need to learn the value of acceptance. previously, i chose to be silent. apparently, now i find that approach more useful. time to shut up, accept and move on.

everyone has a past. i just wish someone will just tell me, "it's okay to have a past." but part of my memory just refuse to let it go. can you tell me how?

can the wind just blows my past away like the autumn leaves?