down the memory lane

It is the second week now. Sometimes, my mind will stop and ponder back to the past. How sweet the memory can be. It is true that you treasure things more when they are lost. Yup, during the time you are at the moment, you never thought that you will never come back for that moment anymore. How nostalgic.

The image of my late grandma still lingers on my mind. How she used to joke I were his youngest son because I like to call her "Mother" as a joke. =)

The day I received the news, I started to think who should I comfort first, "My aunt, my sister, my uncle or anyone?". Then, I stopped for awhile. The person who needed it the most was myself. I thought I am pretty tough myself for not shedding any tears during my two grandpas' funerals. It appeared that I am not as strong as I think I am. Well, the tears just flowed out without you thinking what you should do.

...Memories.... Can you tell me once again that I am your "lai chai" again? Although it sounded odd, I know deep down it will never be true. Fine, memories that I had is better than no fond memories. I kind of felt sad whenever some of friends told me that they are not close to their grandparents. Being around them give you the pleasure of being pampered. Yes, pamper. They make you feel like you are the most important soul in their lifes. Grandparents seldom nag and scold. Forever, joking and laughing. Who can give me these kind of feelings now? This is part and parcel of life I guess. Time to grow up then. Nobody is there to pamper you anymore. 

The happiness gained for these years is taken for granted. Rather than counting how short it is, it should be how long it has been. Time to face it. Bye, grandma! My mum said if the person loves you when they are alive, most likely they will still look after you in the afterlife.

(previously drafted half a year ago)