Due to my boredom despite tonnes of things to do, I always browse through the net to find stuff which is interesting. Something like survey about men's opinion, health, food and music. I come across an online magazine and it list the 10 things that make men happy. Well, let's see.
No. 1: Friends. I totally agree with this ranking. It says that meeting friends make men happy. Wow, that's so true. According to the survey, the amount of money that should be compensated for a guy who has not met his friends for a year is closely $300,000. That's a lot! I can't agree less. I think it is not the money, I think I will die... Haha =) I am so talkative and if I don't see my friends, I am most likely to suffer depression and commit suicide. No la, probably won't commit suicide. I can be a pretty loner at times, but I love to just chat with my good friends. The magazine also writes that being around peers helps men to produce a kind of hormone which gives happy feeling... Betul betul.... Should i post the picture of my friends here ar? DUN WANT LAR, I AM SO SHY.... haha, not really shy but is because I seldom take pictures with my friends geh... It is not the pictures that show your strength of your friendship right? It is the heart that counts. (wink wink)
I consider myself pretty fortunate because wherever I went I had at least a friend which I could closely talk to.... Like last time primary school, got three besties always there... Chat like orang gila seems like nobody's business. Then come to secondary school, also got one two friends geh, the ones who will can finish your sentences... Freaking hate them for finishing my sentences (not really, i think friends like that are treasures!) Then come to college, seems like I am a bit withdrawn, quite quiet and quite lost though they are good friends but seldom can talk. Talk also must be careful at times.... I dunno why, maybe felt strange... But then in the end got one lar.... But this friends quite siow one as the surname suggests. XD can be funny and can be sampat and can be super kind as well... I think friends who know me really well last time can pretty sure say I have moody behaviour.
It can be attributed to insecurity. I dun like to be in the presence of many people actually. For me, if they are really close, three to four are sufficient. But it so happens everytime my close friends have such a huge gang of friends that I get pulled in the end... Unexpected yet happy =) To say I am judgemental is true, I am friend selector... Hohoho.... Once I told my good friend about this, he got scared, "Wahhhh, I din know you are like that." Well, be glad I select you...... No lar, I am just crapping... I don't really talk much unless I really know you but I get the feeling that everytime once I get warm up to the close friends, it is time to leave again. So, being personal can be a good thing too. Takkan want me to pour out everything when meeting new friends meh? That will be inappropriate.
Now leh, sometimes find that some can be fake, some intentional yet many truthful and sincere. Glad to know them. But I dunno it is me or them. I can feel like they are hiding something. If I ask the question knowing the question is what my friends want to avoid, will I be deemed KPC. I believe everyone has the right to keep their personal lives to themselves but only good friends will want to know right? I am not wrong for thinking that right?
For me, it is very common that I avoid certain subject. True enough, I don't say unless people ask. Because I believe people who care are the ones who will ask these questions. So, I answer truthfully. All this while, I thought I hide my personal stuff quite well until I suddenly told a friend about my story la...bla bla bla... And he said, "I know ar," I said how u know.... "Because you never talk about it"... Hmmm... Well, I didn't say because I do not want to sound disrespectful because I used to think that reality sucks... Yeah, sucks big time..
I think I have been in such a dilemma state for so long, and to be in dilemma now is such a simple thing. I don't face problem which normal people seem to face. I think nobody will understand. By saying, it shouldn't help. So, might as well don't say. Not that I choose to not to tell, but I tried and everytime I get the sympathy looks that I dislike. There was once I told a friend who has similar problem like myself. After hearing, I think she found it a relief because deep down she never expect me to have such big problems before. Haha... I think I should be a motivator next time just by telling my story. So dramatic yet pitiful.
That's the reason I find that being emo is the worst expression. You want to be emo, friend. Come and listen to my story and I think you have no more reason to be emo about. You think life is hard, of course it is hard. Nobody says it is easy. Suck up,learn and move on. But I am quite fortunate because I learn to dream. As I believe background forms a personality and since my background is different, I always dream of being different from others. I want to succeed but not just materially because picking myself up is not easy.
And I always appreciate friends around me. I think I have good memory when it comes to my personal lives. I can still remember the friend who consoled me when I cried in primary school. The friend who stood by me when the rest think I am being a disgrace, the friend who fought with me over simple matter. the friend who told me I am his best friend, the friend who appeared everywhere unexpectedly wherever I go, and the friend who cried over love.
Due to my good memory, it always seems that these friends have been my besties like yesterday. Let me count the besties that I have: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Well, not many hor? So pathetic, in my life, I only have 10 besties but I think 10 is sufficient... and how much do you think I will pay if I were to never to meet them in my life before? Nothing because all I will pay is my heart, love and sincerity.
Friday, 15 October 2010
Monday, 11 October 2010
Condolences
I really have no idea when my sis asked me to call back home. Normally, the first thing on my mind is, "Oh shit, some bad has happened again."
True enough, a relative has passed away again. Not to say that I am particularly close to the uncle but, I know that uncle is a good man. He is very capable too. My mum praised him, "Saying that he is very 'pen shi' because with just O level qualification, he has become a manager, working overseas." True, the uncle is quite humble too. Not like some rich guys who only know how to show off. What is shocking is for the fact that his cause of death is still unknown and he is only 53 years of age. Deepest condolences from me to the family.
All I can is that good people die too young in this world. At least, he is not suffering when he passed away. The people suspected heart attack but this seems to be unheard of since he has been healthy all this while.
Fine, this year has not really be an auspicious year. When I suffered the loss of two grandparents, the least I can say is they are of old age already but for this, I have nothing to say. I am bad at attending funerals because I have nothing to say. Normally, I will escape if I can do so.
Hopefully they are able to get back the corpse soon because there seems to be a delay.
There is once I attended a dharma talk in my uni. The old uncle told us that ," We should be able to let go of the departeds." I don't pay attention to what he said, but true enough, one should move on. The memories remain. What I am sad during my grandma's passing is the fact that I have received so much kindness and help from her. And before I can even repay her kindness, she is already gone. Fortunately, I will always remember what she told me last time, study hard and be good. As I am the youngest in the family, not due to age but due to rankings, I am always being laughed at. Haha... I find it funny too when my grandma said it.
But she is always say I am her favourite. I used to be very naughty and called her "Mother" following what my father, mother,uncles and aunties call her. She would reply, "Ohhhh, that makes you my 'lai zhai', following up by 'lai zhai lai sam kon'. " Yes, having her did cheer up my life and made my life easier. I am always indebted to her.
As for the rest who suffers the same loss as me, be grateful that they have been there for us. In life, we should appreciate what we had, not the loss. Come and go is the norm of life. Be grateful and move on.
Blogger feeling happy thinking about past memories. =)
True enough, a relative has passed away again. Not to say that I am particularly close to the uncle but, I know that uncle is a good man. He is very capable too. My mum praised him, "Saying that he is very 'pen shi' because with just O level qualification, he has become a manager, working overseas." True, the uncle is quite humble too. Not like some rich guys who only know how to show off. What is shocking is for the fact that his cause of death is still unknown and he is only 53 years of age. Deepest condolences from me to the family.
All I can is that good people die too young in this world. At least, he is not suffering when he passed away. The people suspected heart attack but this seems to be unheard of since he has been healthy all this while.
Fine, this year has not really be an auspicious year. When I suffered the loss of two grandparents, the least I can say is they are of old age already but for this, I have nothing to say. I am bad at attending funerals because I have nothing to say. Normally, I will escape if I can do so.
Hopefully they are able to get back the corpse soon because there seems to be a delay.
There is once I attended a dharma talk in my uni. The old uncle told us that ," We should be able to let go of the departeds." I don't pay attention to what he said, but true enough, one should move on. The memories remain. What I am sad during my grandma's passing is the fact that I have received so much kindness and help from her. And before I can even repay her kindness, she is already gone. Fortunately, I will always remember what she told me last time, study hard and be good. As I am the youngest in the family, not due to age but due to rankings, I am always being laughed at. Haha... I find it funny too when my grandma said it.
But she is always say I am her favourite. I used to be very naughty and called her "Mother" following what my father, mother,uncles and aunties call her. She would reply, "Ohhhh, that makes you my 'lai zhai', following up by 'lai zhai lai sam kon'. " Yes, having her did cheer up my life and made my life easier. I am always indebted to her.
As for the rest who suffers the same loss as me, be grateful that they have been there for us. In life, we should appreciate what we had, not the loss. Come and go is the norm of life. Be grateful and move on.
Blogger feeling happy thinking about past memories. =)
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
.... .... ....
Today is a relax and gloomy day. After attending 9am lecture and 1pm tutorial, I feel carefree and decide to come back home to finish my drama series. I believe I am in a state of drama addiction. So, I am feeling rather sleepy and anxious for not being able to do anything. Along the way home, I grabbed a monthly magazine published by one of the student union in my university. I think it is pretty cool for my student union to be able to pull off such a good work.
It caught my eye for the edition of the Magazine being "Queer edition". Being an American drama series fan, I know the mean of queer referred by the Western society. Haha... Do you know what it means? If I am not mistaken, it is used to refer to people who are not heterosexuals, such as gays,lesbians and asexuals. What amuses me is the fact that even students are allowed to talk about sexuality so freely. But, I am impressed that the freedom of speech given is used wisely because the contents are generally to promote understanding, tolerance and acceptance. Thumbs up, Honi Soit (title of the magazine). I am not an avid reader of Honi Soit but occasionally, I will take a peek just to immerse myself in the Australian culture.
The thing about Australia is that it is unique of its own. Besides having the same political system as her Western counterparts, the economy, social and cultural values are quite different. Sadly, I am not fond of Australia. Maybe, I should say my characteristics do not fit well into Australia. It is safe to say that I am a person who values traditional aesthetics, being art, language, culture and history. Australia is rather too modern to my liking. As such, Malaysia still has a better greater aesthetic values which I cherish. Malaysia has its faults and weakness yet, it depends on every individual's judgement. The culture can be rather horrible at times, but it is the thing that make me laugh and shakes my head at the end of the day.
En en.... I am feeling down recently. Don't know why. Can be homesick, can be too bored, can be sick of the world's intolerance and cruelty. Despite all this, I believe everyone will have a time like this. Hope that there is someone who will suddenly just knock my room door and talk to me about things... but I think it is rather impossible because my house door is locked =.= haha... Hoping for the impossible which reminds me of another occasion which I told a friend of mine... Why can't you strike a jackpot while at the same time not buying it? The only possibility is you pick up a winning jackpot ticket... another =.= lame joke but my friend did laugh at that time... This is me... the ever positive me in front of others yet, somehow, I feel so lonely and down when I am alone.
Adios
It caught my eye for the edition of the Magazine being "Queer edition". Being an American drama series fan, I know the mean of queer referred by the Western society. Haha... Do you know what it means? If I am not mistaken, it is used to refer to people who are not heterosexuals, such as gays,lesbians and asexuals. What amuses me is the fact that even students are allowed to talk about sexuality so freely. But, I am impressed that the freedom of speech given is used wisely because the contents are generally to promote understanding, tolerance and acceptance. Thumbs up, Honi Soit (title of the magazine). I am not an avid reader of Honi Soit but occasionally, I will take a peek just to immerse myself in the Australian culture.
The thing about Australia is that it is unique of its own. Besides having the same political system as her Western counterparts, the economy, social and cultural values are quite different. Sadly, I am not fond of Australia. Maybe, I should say my characteristics do not fit well into Australia. It is safe to say that I am a person who values traditional aesthetics, being art, language, culture and history. Australia is rather too modern to my liking. As such, Malaysia still has a better greater aesthetic values which I cherish. Malaysia has its faults and weakness yet, it depends on every individual's judgement. The culture can be rather horrible at times, but it is the thing that make me laugh and shakes my head at the end of the day.
En en.... I am feeling down recently. Don't know why. Can be homesick, can be too bored, can be sick of the world's intolerance and cruelty. Despite all this, I believe everyone will have a time like this. Hope that there is someone who will suddenly just knock my room door and talk to me about things... but I think it is rather impossible because my house door is locked =.= haha... Hoping for the impossible which reminds me of another occasion which I told a friend of mine... Why can't you strike a jackpot while at the same time not buying it? The only possibility is you pick up a winning jackpot ticket... another =.= lame joke but my friend did laugh at that time... This is me... the ever positive me in front of others yet, somehow, I feel so lonely and down when I am alone.
Adios
Monday, 4 October 2010
Uni starts tomorrow
I feel refreshing after watching endless drama series. Yes, my refreshment is plain simple. Just sit down, relax and watch. Pure simple pleasure. It has been a week of holidays.
This spring break brings good news too. I have been confirmed a place to stay for 2011. At least I will have a shelter. Besides, I am going for a tutor position interview. Fingers crossed... If I got this job, my dream of an oversea graduate holiday will be closer than ever =) Well, I think new mid-semester brings new hope. I want my world to rock even more.
Yesterday, I went grocery shopping with a friend. Along the way, we chatted about uni stuff, life as an oversea student and daily stuff. It has been unquestionable that people back home think we are doing so well. "Wah, so nice ar to be studying overseas. Must be very lucky". But do you really think the experiences are all happiness?
Not all. It is has never been easy. I am grateful for the opportunity but this opportunity comes with a cost. The feeling away from home. The stress and challenges that come with it.
To be frank, it has never been easier to talk to someone. Sometimes, you just have to suck it all up, be strong and give the radiant smile that everyone loves to see. Hmmmm....
Fortunately, I cope better now. Next year will be my last year. I am joining the workforce soon. A bit apprehensive, a bit worried but there is also excitement and sense of adventurous. First thing, I don't want to feel poor any longer. NEVER. I have known what it feels like. Yet, I will come out of it with pride, dignity and with a sense of humility (hopefully).
Recently, I have been watching the drama "Can't Buy Me Love", A story about a princess taken into the palace when she was 6. This drama is very hilarious and emphasizes on family values. I begin to cherish what I used to have. It is not the material substance that matters at the end of the day, it is what that lies within our hearts that matters the most.
I used to wonder and ask my mum last time why she is so bother to cook for the whole family when we can just easily go out and dine at a restaurant. Faster, cheaper and less work. Yet, my suggestion has always been turned down except during birthdays and minor celebrations. I think I can understand how she felt back then. I think it is her sense of pride as a mother and happiness as a care giver to give us the very best she can. The thought of doing something for your loved ones is so great that every Mum's action is unquestionably always right. For that, I am eternally grateful.
Blogger begins to see another light that makes sense in his life by watching another drama. =)
This spring break brings good news too. I have been confirmed a place to stay for 2011. At least I will have a shelter. Besides, I am going for a tutor position interview. Fingers crossed... If I got this job, my dream of an oversea graduate holiday will be closer than ever =) Well, I think new mid-semester brings new hope. I want my world to rock even more.
Yesterday, I went grocery shopping with a friend. Along the way, we chatted about uni stuff, life as an oversea student and daily stuff. It has been unquestionable that people back home think we are doing so well. "Wah, so nice ar to be studying overseas. Must be very lucky". But do you really think the experiences are all happiness?
Not all. It is has never been easy. I am grateful for the opportunity but this opportunity comes with a cost. The feeling away from home. The stress and challenges that come with it.
To be frank, it has never been easier to talk to someone. Sometimes, you just have to suck it all up, be strong and give the radiant smile that everyone loves to see. Hmmmm....
Fortunately, I cope better now. Next year will be my last year. I am joining the workforce soon. A bit apprehensive, a bit worried but there is also excitement and sense of adventurous. First thing, I don't want to feel poor any longer. NEVER. I have known what it feels like. Yet, I will come out of it with pride, dignity and with a sense of humility (hopefully).
Recently, I have been watching the drama "Can't Buy Me Love", A story about a princess taken into the palace when she was 6. This drama is very hilarious and emphasizes on family values. I begin to cherish what I used to have. It is not the material substance that matters at the end of the day, it is what that lies within our hearts that matters the most.
I used to wonder and ask my mum last time why she is so bother to cook for the whole family when we can just easily go out and dine at a restaurant. Faster, cheaper and less work. Yet, my suggestion has always been turned down except during birthdays and minor celebrations. I think I can understand how she felt back then. I think it is her sense of pride as a mother and happiness as a care giver to give us the very best she can. The thought of doing something for your loved ones is so great that every Mum's action is unquestionably always right. For that, I am eternally grateful.
Blogger begins to see another light that makes sense in his life by watching another drama. =)
Saturday, 2 October 2010
Spring Break
Spring break is almost finished. It is a week holiday here for University of Sydney. I have spent five days straight watching dramas and anime. Oh my gosh. When I think about it, the only time I walked was to the bathroom or prepare something to eat. I am so idle that I love my holiday so much. Me love dramas. Fact of life that I will admit proudly.
Luckily I did something during this break. At least, I played badminton once on thursday. And the consequence, my thighs are still sore till now. An indication that I have been slacking in exercises for quite some time already. But I like the badminton session because I sweat and run. Me love sports. Another fact of life....
Besides, I went to a buffet. The time is rather odd. The buffet started from 930pm until 11pm because this is the promotion hour. Being a student, I search frantically for anything that is on promotion. But I love the buffet. It is held in a casino. Eat as if I have starved for a few days. The desserts were splendid. So nice untill words can't express my happiness. It has a variety of food.... I felt so bliss. Hohoho... My stomach felt bloated after finished eating. I would love to go again =)
There you go, all about my one week holiday. Short and sweet. I intended to write a little longer but one of my facts of life is disrupting my plan. XD Till then, adios!
Luckily I did something during this break. At least, I played badminton once on thursday. And the consequence, my thighs are still sore till now. An indication that I have been slacking in exercises for quite some time already. But I like the badminton session because I sweat and run. Me love sports. Another fact of life....
Besides, I went to a buffet. The time is rather odd. The buffet started from 930pm until 11pm because this is the promotion hour. Being a student, I search frantically for anything that is on promotion. But I love the buffet. It is held in a casino. Eat as if I have starved for a few days. The desserts were splendid. So nice untill words can't express my happiness. It has a variety of food.... I felt so bliss. Hohoho... My stomach felt bloated after finished eating. I would love to go again =)
There you go, all about my one week holiday. Short and sweet. I intended to write a little longer but one of my facts of life is disrupting my plan. XD Till then, adios!
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