one who refused to live the belief of others

he is of such famous personality that he is mentioned in and out for a few days. a random check proves this. his departure from the Mother Earth is definitely a great loss to society. to be honest, his passing is not really a loss to me. one, i don't own one of his innovations because i am not really into technology stuffs of person. i am more of food person. i will be sadder if a great chef passed away. but, i came across a story written about him.

he is a person of such valor that i have to respect him for who he is. he is a fighter. you can say he is very ambitious. but i would like to say he is a stubborn person with great individuality style. for one, his work itself says much about him. when he encountered challenges from the company itself. he went out and created his own empire called NEXT. when his production took off, the old company bought his new company back. so cool! you force people who rejected before to accept you back. if you have such value, no matter where you go, you will be noticed. kudos. hopefully everyone has such luck, courage and dedication. if you read his career background, his innovation really comes from his strong principles.

although i have not met you before, it has been a great knowing you through story. may you rest in peace. i will always cherish your saying,

"Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

blogger feels life suddenly feels short. you may be here today but may not be here tomorrow.

saya masih anak jati melaka, oni

hari agak bermakna. seorang kawan lama tiba tiba bertanya khabar kat aku. biasanya, jarang ada kawan lama yang singgah di profil saya di facebook yang bertanya khabar. tiba tiba terasa rindu pula zaman waktu sekolah rendah. pada masa itu, sangat gembira. kawan lama ini boleh dikatakan kawan baik sewaktu darjah satu lagi. masa itu, dia cukup kerdil dan gigi gongak. wah, sekarang. hansem dan tinggi giler. tu la, anak campuran melayu dan jepun ini memang kelihatan lain daripada yang lain.

kawan ini agak lucu pada masa tu. kita sama-sama bertugas sebagai pengawas. cuba anda teka apa tugas yang diberikan kepada kami. biasanya, jaga pagar, meronda di kantin, bilik darjah dan juga bilik guru. tugas kami agak istimewa. kami adalah penjaga masa. hahaha, macam dewa-dewa pulak. kami ditugaskan untuk membunyikan loceng sekolah. pada masa itu, loceng yang digunakan mempunyai fungsi manual bukan seperti sekarang, semua berfungsi guna elektrik. tugas ini sangat senang. cuma perlu tekan loceng bila tiba masa. sebelum bunyi loceng, kita akan duduk di meja sambil berbual bual.

kawan ini sangat kreatif. dia mengajar macam mana bersiul. aku bukan main susah baru belajar teknik siulan daripada dia. dia kata, senang saja. buat mulut tu macam ikan. lepas tiup. aku masih ingat aku terus balik belajar banyak kali. jadi pulak pada keesokan hari. sebagai balasan, dia meminta aku mengajar dia cakap bahasa cina. pelik kan budak jepun ni. orang minta ajar akademik, dia minta ajar bahasa cina. dah la bahasa cina aku tak beberapa baik. ajar sahaja. dia tanya sahaja lepas tu aku tolong tafsirkan dalam bahasa cina. ini boleh dikatakan teori economy sebagai barter sistem.

memori yang paling aku tak boleh lupa ialah isyarat tangan. mesti tumbuk kat buku lima, lepas tu berjabat tangan dan buat ala rock sambil bercakap "oh yeah". haha.... itulah zaman waktu sekolah rendahku yang cukup seronok lagi menarik ketika bertugas. nasib baik waktu itu tiada cikgu yang memandang. kalau tidak, digeleng kepala cikgu tu.

sebab saya gelarkan diri saya sebagai anak jati melaka sebab kawan ini ingatkan aku dah lupakan daratan. takde la, kawan. saya masih diriku yang dulu. cuma telah menimba lebih banyak pengetahuan. yang berbeza cuma saiz yang tinggi sikit dan suara gelakan sedikit lebih kuat. entah sejak bila kawan saya mengejek suara ketawa saya sangat lantang. biarlah..... apa pun, assignment belum siap lagi. mahu pergi buat sekarang.

dia nampak mcm budak cina...cuba teka mana satu kawan baik saya. sayang sekali tak pernah ambil gambar dengan dia.

ohh.... kawan baik saya bernama onira bin sharif. kita kenal sejak darjah satu lagi dan dia duduk di sebelah saya pada masa itu.

says who

the recent hype would be most likely the words that catch one's attention shared on the blue wall. some are funny i would say. it doesn't really make me laugh. it makes me smile. okay, i will take that. the question on my mind is who says these phrases. created originally? or from a bank website of phrases. whatever, it is, they sure are heart warming until at one point, i find it a little distracted. why is everyone posting? the reason must be because everyone is special. everyone is attracted to something different in life. just like how one likes different color, food and design. it will be pretty ironic if everyone likes the same thing.

okay, i should be back to do my 10-page assignment. i am special too because this is what i like most:

Who can teach me how to write this on a cup of coffee?

blogger is in the mood for coffee.......

the part of me that needs to smile

people often ask why i always smile. simple, because i think life is good. i am satisfied with my current state of life.

do you know that if you have gone through the worst in life, you will learn to smile more? some might notice i seldom to share the past, the reason is i dun find the worth in sharing. if i do, the expected response is absolutely silence. i did share with five friends in life. nothing to be proud. i share because they care to ask. one thing i learn about life. it is not easy. when i begin to share my story, a friend told me. yes, i know. if you were to meet me a few years back, i will be exactly in the same position as you. the difference is, i am still in the same old position and you have already moved on past the stage.

since young, i think i cried a lot. sometimes i cried myself to sleep. and the thing is it is not even things that i can control. they are not about studies, relationship and friendship. so my worries have deeper impact. from young, i din expect much in life. i just want to have a normal, ordinary life. once, i told a friend about my story, she said. you dun look like you have been that much in life. yes, i did. that's how i manage to comfort her for being unhappy when problems crop up. somehow my story always makes other feels much better. can you imagine how my story makes me then? worthless. to be feel such a feeling when young is really not easy. i am quite thankful that suicide is never on my mind. i always thought such happenings never exist before in my life. thats the reason i did not care to share. probably, one day when i am old enough, i might write just to let sad people to feel better about themselves.

i think i have grown. but something still etches deeply. i have a grudge. i never forgive. with my strong details of memory, i can always think back and remember every important single moment in life. that's why i seldom forgive. one, i hate liars. two, i hate people who treat others like craps. i can tell you that feeling like  a crap is the worst. you do not even want to live for another day. that's why i rarely share. who wants to hear the crappy story. yes, nobody. if i were to tell all over again, i am afraid i myself cannot control the tears.

life is difficult, i think things have been improving. sometimes, i must really question. who the hell writes my life path. if i were to meet the person or divine being, i may choose to never to live. i hope nobody goes through. a shocking tale was told to me. actually, someone has contemplated suicide. i get to know this last summer. i think thats how bad it is. given the situation, i think even it occurs, i am not surprised honestly. thats why i choose not to forgive. the memory is still strong. maybe, one day but not now.

and some friends actually complain how their lives are just ordinary. be thankful you are ordinary. you just never know how extraordinary life can be and i dun mean the happier one. i think seldom people will share sad stories. have you read the "The Kitchen God's Wifebook" by Amy Tan. i think the book is written based on true story.

since so much has been thrown at me, i still survive. so there is no reason not to smile, do I? and friends said i am stubborn. why not, because i need to be stubborn to stand on my ground things that i believe in. i believe that your value is not determined by others. you decide how much you are worth. i believe in living the now because the past is just memories. best forgotten. and i believe be appreciative of people who believe in you. because only they will know your value in life. cling on to them and never let go. if you feel sad at times, just talk to them. actually, my life has been where i get a lot of support especially teachers. i do not understand when one stranger auntie looked at me and said boy, you look like you have been through a lot in life and i think you will be okay. at that time, i dun understand what is she saying but little did i know she actually meant my past.

enough said, now is 433am and i need to sleep.

the red carpet

Hollywood affair

here you go as promised. do i look alright for hollywood affairs? guess not. actually this is the clothes i wear for work. apparently, my hair cut got more attention than my clothes. duh. it's alright because i did cut my hair just for this event. so the thing is the 10bucks worth more than my clothes collection. maybe next time i should take picture with my double carved line on the side.

blogger finds it unnecessary to get new clothes just to attend an event.