i will pray for you

it is an ordinary day. working in the office as usual. a colleague is getting married soon. hence my good luck wishing and envious display for having 4 months of leave. who takes a 4-month marriage leave anyway? then she popped up the question, so bila nak cari gf. i was like.... errr.... when the time is right la. i told her i am not really setting very high expectations. after telling her that, she said no worry, i will pray for you. i was like. okay. i got this question a lot lately. omg. if it reaches a state when you colleague prays for you, i have nothing else to say.

miss right, where art thou?

i ain't rushing, just a little curious how you would look like

the boy who daydreams

it had not been a habit of daydreaming for quite a while. if i daydream, i usually feel tired, sad and probably a little lost. not too long ago, a friend pointed out (so directly) that i was daydreaming when i was talking to her. i stunned for awhile. when i got myself collected, i thought, "yeah, it's probably true." i brushed it off as being tired. ever since i started working, i felt tired. i wonder where is all my energy. i felt like an old man. tired all the time.

part of me wants to blame the job but i think i have an answer already. a person today guided me today. he said i am always being haunted by my past. my inability to let go of my past is starting to make my perspective dim. in order to get myself out of this, i need to learn to accept the past and take it as it is and be more accepting of another person's weakness.

i find this a bitter pill to swallow. as much as i would like to deny this, i know it is true. i often think my past is an disadvantage to me. but it never has been the case till now. i need to learn the value of acceptance. previously, i chose to be silent. apparently, now i find that approach more useful. time to shut up, accept and move on.

everyone has a past. i just wish someone will just tell me, "it's okay to have a past." but part of my memory just refuse to let it go. can you tell me how?

can the wind just blows my past away like the autumn leaves?

you owe it to them

i have read a piece of written article. a very good read. yet, i have forgotten where i come across that.

it goes somewhere along this line, 'if you come across a problem and injustice and have an opportunity to change it, it is your duty to change it. you don't owe it to yourself but you owe it to the future generation so that they do not have to go through what you have been through.' i agree. there is a time when one has to step up and says enough is enough. do not let others tell you it is alright to be wronged. use your heart to tell you what to do. you have a brain and heart for a reason. use it and use it wisely. 

blogger thinking the time is now or never. 

i remember well

when i interact, i observe, listen and talk at the same time. this can be a gift and yet a curse at times. hence, i am appreciative of kind gestures i was showered with yet i remembered well for those bad apples as well. how in the world i am remembering all the fights i had with my primary school friends to the details and also remember how the primary school teacher treated me well like her own child. i felt honoured as a student that time. she trusted me. the most important thing, she inspired me to be the best i can be.

thats why i tell my friends around me, don't treat me bad, don't lie to me, don't do any mistake in front of me. i remember well even though sometimes i remember too much. 

i still cannot forget how this friend who taught i was the snobbish kid ended up being my occasional chatting friend. but the thing is, the chatting gets lesser. but i still find it memorable. because as we walk to after school class, he will keep talking. surprisingly, i am the listener. i am seldom the listener but i remember well.

there is girl who i had a crush on. she asked for a favour once and i remembered, i asked for an ice cream in return. and she said ok. haha. although it did not materialise, i still remember. does this type of human connection and memory only happens to me or everyone else has the same exact memories too.

taipei

ps: does having a auditory memory a good thing?

the simple wan tan mi

if i compare myself to myself years ago, i would say i have changed. not because of all the people i know or all the skills i learn at work or the degree i earned. it's the perspective i currently have. the "i" who wants to travel everywhere, eat everything and see all the views in the world. yet, as i grow, i find that i feel a less satisfaction seeking such past dream. i still yearn such thing occasionally yet the satisfaction has been different.

at times, i feel that if i have a day of quiet reading and a simple wan tan mi at bunga raya, i would be more happy than travelling and eating fine dining. you may say i am the sour grape. i am at a phase which i think  finding contentment in my daily life can be very rewarding. looking at all the positive side of things could not be so bad after all. if we just stop walking for awhile and look around, there are a lot of things to be thankful and grateful about. but here we are, looking straight at want we possibly can get or not and yet, losing what have been besides us all this while.

blogger just want the simple wan tan mi at times. bunga raya street food is not comparable than the sydney fine dining, it is better.