friends, what friendship?

a friend asked, "have you contacted mr x recently?" i was like.... errr, no. why? because the friend thought that it has been a long time since last time they chatted. my response was it has been many years since i had proper conversation with mr x. then this friend started rambling about how education background affects your view of friendship and how close mr x is with y and z. special treatment will only be given to y and z when they were around.

in my mind, "why bother?". the friend also lamented how the friendship just fades like that. to me, i seldom talk to mr x and we also never hang out. so am i concern? not really. do i lose something? no. to me, he is just a random friend who comes and goes in my everyday life. i am quite surprised when my friend talks about this. i thought by now everyone should be pretty clear who are those around you who will stick around.

i always believe in the principle of "nothing is constant, the constant thing is change". embrace it. until the last breath you have taken on this earth only you will know who stand beside you through the test of time. so i will just live for the moment and do not let circumstances to change how i felt about it. you never know best friends can be enemies next time. so i think i can be the chameleon. i can be your best friend, good pal, chat buddy, classmate, roomie, colleague or even just a traveller companion. i don't mind playing along but i am strong believer in what goes around will come back to you. 

you have nothing to offer other than you. 

treat others with sincerity but do not expect in return. what you have to offer is on your part. if the person treats you the same, be grateful that it happens. i wish not wasting my time thinking about it. people are different. in this short time of living here, we can spend time lamenting about the loss of friendship or we can spend it by keeping the real ones and finding new potential ones. who knows you might just find all the right one because at the end of the day, you just think too much. give others the benefit of the doubt.

blogger feels he can be quite friendly when he wants it, he just doesn't feel that way recently towards his co-workers.

 

are we living lives of takers rather than givers?

it is often on my mind. sometimes in my life, i wish to help the society. coming from nothing to today, i would not say i have accomplished much, but i have come across help from various individuals. somehow along the way, i have lost my sense of gratefulness and believe in the sense of entitlement. i deserve it because i work hard for it. a thinking of the day: who the hell in this life is not working hard?

perhaps, i will be good to help others along the way, big or small help. it can be as simple as giving your seats to the needy (pregnant future mummies, bone cracking elderly or just anyone you deem necessary), smiling and saying good morning to the uncle and auntie cleaners you met in the office or just holding a door for someone else. there is this once where i read, you measure a man't worth through the way he treats the waiter. but i was thinking, why a waiter, but not the janitor/cleaner who helps you. you can be nice to the waiter because you expect fast food delivery and the waiter expects a big fat tip at the end of the day. motivation is being questioned here. hence,  a read by a lady writer than what comes around goes around really inspires me to be a better person. and the indicator should be the cleaner rather than the waiter.

in that story, she mentions that she frequented a food court in the city. for the first time, she thanked the male cleaner. then she thought the cleaner had not heard her as he was silent and looking down, hence, she walked in front of him, thank him, smile and walk away. the second time, the same cleaner came to clean her table while she gave the same thanking and smiling action but still no response from the cleaner. came the third time, she had no place to sit, frantically searching for a place to sit and was looking around until she saw a wave from a cheerful person. he was waving to her, indicating there was an empty spot for her to sit. he had not only wiped table but the chair as well.

random act of courtesy and kindness will go a long way to come back to you.today's society is rather cold. no one smiles anymore. i don't know why and it has made me feels awkward to smile. hence my sour face. then my labeling as the emo junior associate. Life.......

maybe i should start telling my friends and family to help others more. i should start by saying thank you and wishing good morning while giving my pearly white smiles. there a few impacts. one, i feel better. two, the other person might feel better. three, together we might have just create a better world to live in.

blogger, thinking it might be a good practice to start smiling to random strangers again. wish him luck as some strangers might think he is a whacko.

to end the post of the day, i would like to recommend every reader to read this :  http://www.loyarburok.com/2012/08/02/forgotten-land/

it is a good read and i just can't help myself quoting some of the quotes used here.

“It is too difficult to think nobly when one thinks only of earning a living.” 
~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

that's it

recent silence is due to me having nothing much to say at work. not that i have nothing to say, i am being bogged down by something else. initially, i thought i am the odd one out. i have these two junior colleagues of mine. they are very talkative and laugh like crazy. and the weird thing is, i am not laughing and talking. i just give them the silent treatment and a smile. do you know in my circle of friends, i never do that silent thing. i guess i really have to. the thing is, i expect some level of depth while talking. okay, if jokes, i laugh if i get it. but they just laugh at everything and the topic is usually lame. i find it frustrating. what the hell... this is really not my depth.

then comes this whole week training. as my firm has a few department, i was randomly picked to sit with the majority of another department (TCE). i am from GFS department. and i find that i really can click very well with them. at least i get their jokes and i laugh. then this junior colleague of mine is the one emo sitting with us. so here comes my thinking. i am thinking much how to fit in all along but i forget to realise: hey, everyone is different. if you don't click, you don't la. hence, i learn a pretty important lesson. not every joke is laughable. not everyone has to be pleased. and to the hell with them. i ain't doing that and i don't talk cock or cantonese says "chui sui". i am not the problem, i am just different.