the place with tall concrete trees

i have just returned from the land where trees are made from concrete pillar structures and surrounded by living plants. what a way to describe this land. it is the land of the south where i stay currently. there is much to see, experience and think. 

for one, i love how system and forward thinking can brings this land to great heights. it is with these two qualities that i believe this place has prospered so much compared to my dear bolehland. from the mass rapid transit to residential housing, everything is so well planned that i feel out of place. to be frank, yours truly is not a systematic person when it comes to his daily life. i prefer the random. that's why there is a term for it. there is the cons of being random though. yet, you have no choice when it comes to preference. it is similar to why you like the colour red over yellow. as simple as that. 

for two, i fancy how i included two swimming sessions in two different places during my visit to this place. one: at the community pool. two: at the recently completed building sports arena. it is built to cater for 2015 asian games. i guess i have beaten the foreign atheletes to it by trying the new pool. my comments: clean, cold and refreshing. like it much.

for three, i did the non-touristy stuffs. i participated in the art crafting session at esplanade. i think it was meant for children but the inner child in me decided to participate along. i like to draw and create things. the idea is quite well incorporated too. in short, you have to cut the sponge to a certain shapes drawn, paste the cut sponge on wooden cube provided, colour the sponge with water colours and chop them on the piece of oil paper. result: a christmas tree with dragonflies overflying the tree with four little bears at the botttom plus lights overlooking the overall picture.i told my friend that is really the highlight of the day and they laughed. i like how the simple this little thing satisfies my inner interest which is drawing. i also did cycle. i cycled from bedok to changi airport (east coast park). really really like this when you can watched the plane flying above your head. the experience is just breathtaking. i literally stop breathing for a moment there. additionally, i just lied down at garden of the bay and beaches. my friend labelled me as a hobo. if that what makes a hobo. then i am hobo Seng then. i will get whatever label that is being thrown at me as long as it describes me well.

art crafting at esplanade

the beach appears empty on a weekend. 

blogger rhyming the "thinking out loud" by the soulful sheeran

photocopy machine.....brings back memories

it has been the same old routine. work, home, eat with friends, go back malacca and all over again. currently, i am working on a new engagement located in kuala lumpur. it is a fund management company. i am assigned two junior associates under my care.

as one of them is fresh graduate joining the working force. it is fun to see that he knows nothing. first, he was standing there, looking at the photocopy machine with a blur face. when he saw me looking at him, he said, "sorry, i don't know how to use a photocopy machine." i almost wanted to laugh back then but my instinct told me not to. it will be hurtful for his morale as a new staff. let's just be cool. i said, "it's alright," and proceeded showing him the way. this act of mine triggered a question. when did i become so familiar in using photocopy machine. i feel like an office boy. haha. nobody will tell you this but auditor does do some of the office boy job. send letter la, scan document, print document, photocopy document and filing. wow. i would say all this admin work stands about 20% of our working time. but it's not unusual. for the assurance world, documentation sums a huge proportion of evidence upon inquiries from superior as well as regulators.

i can handle you like a pro now. *proud

today marks 2 years 8 months 7 days of working. i can safely say i am contented as an auditor right now. but i am beginning to feel out of place. i think it is about to find a new lead. where it can motivates me and something i am deeply passionate about.



blogger thinking of resigning sometimes.

the one and only, who sings chinese song like a korean

with the latest upload of the voice of china to youtube, i am overwhelmed with the talent uprising from this reality show. my mouth went =O and goosebumps were triggered. aha... she is the one, i think, who will be grabbing the champion title this year. one reason, she sings like a champion. her voice is so clear and soulful. keep it up. the one and only.

张碧晨

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVQt2IrYgs

blogger listening to the song, "you are my destiny" with korean and chinese lyrics for the nth times.

the smile

do you know there is difference one person's smile to another person's smile? i, for one, know there is. how does one smile when (s)/he is happy? and how does one smile without any element of happiness?

i think i can feel it. one article it has got to do with the eyes. if you look carefully, one will squint the eyes when one is truly happy if not, normal eye size.

whether i take it from the size of the eye or from my heart, i am not sure. but for one, i usually know. if you don't feel like smiling, please don't. it's fake and i know it.

it is not about being polite or what. by putting up a fake smile, i think you are being insincere. something that is insincere carries no value to me that is; hence the redundancy.

well, living in the world where pictures are constantly taken all the time, there are more fake smiles that i wish to see. time to ponder again: do i always smile with my sincere heart? i wonder.

the romance of the past

during the raya break, i had decided to extend another three days to get an entire week off. awesome. part of me wanted to give my mind a break and have a good read. *ting (sound of a light bulb). i still have books that i have yet to read which i purchased during the big bad wolf event held in melaka during april. upon searching through the books, this book popped up. let's give it a shot. i have always heard about mr darcy but i wonder why the constant mention of him. turns out, he is a fictional character created by jane austen for women's fascination about the perfect man. when it comes to romance story, my earthly world will be shut and i will be brought into the world of imagination. 

quite a good read i would say. it talks about literature, books and book tour. the male hero is quite witty, humble and ordinary in human life. relate-able. but the mr darcy in the story originates from the past. the detailed description of the myriads splendid views of england did make me wanna buy a plane ticket and just fly there. bring me to london please. i think the time travel element that the writer brings is very refreshing indeed and subtle hinting of the first person character having wild dreams was always on my mind. there's always an element of miracle in love story.

finished within five days.

part of me want to believe in miracle because yours truly never believe in true love. perhaps it's time to have faith, mate.

travel embedded with life learning experience

little did i know, this litle hanoi travel made me thought a lot while experiencing tonnes of memorable experience.

it was a random idea brought up by my friend, "eh, why don't we go to ho chi minh?" after searching and googling through the airasia website, i suggested, why not hanoi? there's a promotion going. then, it was decided. i will be going with my high school friends: pc, andrew and ivan in july. while the plane booking was made few months in advance, the tour planning was done at the last week before we departed. all hail to mr ivan for making the necessary booking of tour. we did engage with a tour guide for the planning.

the first stop is hanoi. upon reaching the city, we are quite taken back when the question of "are you from china?" pops up at the airport during the immigration checking section. two vietnamese guys from the back of the queue investigate my friends with where are we from, what are we doing here and checked that our watches do really reflect malaysian time. i perspired a bit there. next up, we were greeted by our tour guide, Van ( pronounced as va-nh).

the first ride to the hotel is hell. the four wheel vehicle is moving at 80km per hour on the highway and the driver kept honking. he made the soft honks. during the journey, it was found that the honk is meant for "watch out, i'm coming. please make way." because the motorbikers really take their own sweet time changing lanes. i have to take several deep breaths to calm myself down. part of purpose of going away from kl is to avoid the jam but little did i know hanoi traffic and honks made it to a whole different level.

later on, we reached the hotel. van decided to bring us around for dinner. we walked a bit and stopped at a no name street hawker. i was intrigued. where is tables and chairs. after some vietnamese chat exchanges, she told us they will bring the table and chairs out. oh okay. but where are we sitting? she said right here and we are standing in the middle of pedestrian walk. that's awesome. while i do eat street food in melaka, sitting in the middle of the pedestrian path tops it all and the motorbikes are just parked beside us. and the pho is nice with the rich pork soup taste. recommended but i have no idea how to recommend to you as there is no shop name.

eating like a boss on the pedestrian path

next day, we are schedule to visit halong bay, one of the main reasons we visit vietnam. to get there, we have to be ready at 730am for the tour guide to fetch us as we will travel a few hours by bus to reach the bay. i have no idea what does halong bay looks like due to time constraint for research. as we reach, the awe-inspiring view just took my breath away. all in all, it is a relaxing cruise. plus i get to attempt fishing in the middle of night under the glittering stars. my most favourite activity of the moment. after 20 min of no fruitful labour from fishing, i headed up to the deck and lay down and rest, overlooking at the moon and myriads of wishful stars. i feel calm and serene at that moment. lovely.

picture from the deck

halong bay view during the cave hike

the scene my friend resembled LOTR. too bad, yours truly did not watch LOTR, yet a mystical view

after the cruise for two days, we are heading to SAPA, the village area in the mountains. journey requires sleeping in the cabin train. another first experience. i manage to sleep soundly but waken up with a sore throat and knees. what is this? we are greeted by a friendly and cheerful tour guide, May. she speaks fluent english. we are up for 2 days hiking. on the first day, i was unwell, tired and my legs are sore. i did finish the climb down the mountain and for the up part, i took the motorbike. wheee. a good deal considering the headache is worsening.

sleeping in the cabin train for the first time. wheeee

on the second day, i was feeling better and decided to join the tour. we talked a lot with the tour guide. suddenly, i feel a bit sad. their lives are not easy. facts: she has to walk one hour just to meet us from her village. she has no free time. all her time is either cooking, bring tours, harvesting the crops, going to jungle (which takes 7 hours) for planting another crop or cutting woods in the jungle. despite all this, i admire her cheerfulness, positive outlook and perseverance. silently, i sent a mental note to myself, "if she can do these with all the hardships, i believe i can do better with my life too. all i need is a positive attitude and hardwork."

I can do this too if she can

later, a friend got upset when she noted another friend had different view on the lives of the natives. the other friend thought they have a good life because they are contented. i think he lacks empathy but i don't judge. empathy is not something you can teach, it is something you have to experience to have it. to me, you can't change the fact that they are in such a condition and they have no option, but i like my tour guide as she exudes cheerfulness, positive outlook and hardwork. i admire her as a fellow friend. she learn english solely from tourist and her english communicative level will put some malaysians to shame. this is what you get when hardwork is put in. we bought a small little gift for her. the thought of tipping her crossed our minds. however, she did say all her money earned from bring tours are given to her mum to help out with food and the basic necessities hence the small gift.

outside May's house

our tour guide, May

the natives

after sapa trip, it is time to go back to hanoi for some shopping and dining. one little thing that deserves mentioning is definitely coffee in vietnam. they are rich and have a fine chocolate smell in it.

the boutique coffee shop discovered randomly. they served us a cup of luwak coffee

ps: this travel really makes me learn widely, wonder wildly and experience excitedly. thank you.

thank you little vietnam for all this life lessons and many first times experience

(images courtesy of mr ivan lee and miss chong)

down the memory lane

It is the second week now. Sometimes, my mind will stop and ponder back to the past. How sweet the memory can be. It is true that you treasure things more when they are lost. Yup, during the time you are at the moment, you never thought that you will never come back for that moment anymore. How nostalgic.

The image of my late grandma still lingers on my mind. How she used to joke I were his youngest son because I like to call her "Mother" as a joke. =)

The day I received the news, I started to think who should I comfort first, "My aunt, my sister, my uncle or anyone?". Then, I stopped for awhile. The person who needed it the most was myself. I thought I am pretty tough myself for not shedding any tears during my two grandpas' funerals. It appeared that I am not as strong as I think I am. Well, the tears just flowed out without you thinking what you should do.

...Memories.... Can you tell me once again that I am your "lai chai" again? Although it sounded odd, I know deep down it will never be true. Fine, memories that I had is better than no fond memories. I kind of felt sad whenever some of friends told me that they are not close to their grandparents. Being around them give you the pleasure of being pampered. Yes, pamper. They make you feel like you are the most important soul in their lifes. Grandparents seldom nag and scold. Forever, joking and laughing. Who can give me these kind of feelings now? This is part and parcel of life I guess. Time to grow up then. Nobody is there to pamper you anymore. 

The happiness gained for these years is taken for granted. Rather than counting how short it is, it should be how long it has been. Time to face it. Bye, grandma! My mum said if the person loves you when they are alive, most likely they will still look after you in the afterlife.

(previously drafted half a year ago)

i guess we are not that different afterall

i had done a little different for my 2014's birthday. initially, i thought i just don't want to receive messages from people who wish it out of obligations since "everyone is doing it."

my goal is very simple: i just hope you wish me because you remember. you don't have to remember it, seriously but if you did, thank you.

fortunately, i have at least a person who remembered. thank you. it means one thing to me: i made a friend who is caring enough to remember. personally, i have a list of friends who i remember their birthday by hearts. some might be just months, others are up to the date.

then during this hanoi trip, i happen to remember a friend, who is travelling with me, has birthday in july roughly mid of july. when i asked, he did mention ya. which is on the last day of the hanoi trip.

i quickly plan something up: bought a hand-made carved card, bought a birthday cake and created a plan to surprise. it was done in a haste mode considering he is always travelling with us all the time. we were playing poker cards in our room for a bit. the birthday was supposed to be tomorrow. initally, i wanted to celebrate at 12am but he told us he wanted to sleep earlier before that as our flight is 840am check-in time. the golden opportunity stroke when he went into the toilet for a pee (it was meant to be a surprise celebration).

we rushed to get the cake, lit a candle and switched off the light. when he came out, it was dark until we started to sing birthday song. i hope he had fun and a happy surprise. little did i know that this friend of mine has removed this birth date notification similar to what i did this year, which he did few years back.

i hope by doing something for him, it makes him a little happier. i understand some people are a little shy or embarrassed about their birthdays. what matters is you have a good time and do know that someone remembers. hope that your birthday wish comes true.

happy 25th birthday!

Happy Birthday again, Ivan (friend since first day of year 1 in SK Tengkera 2).

a sound advice

weeks ago, i met a teacher who taught me bm back in my high school years. i was taken aback slightly because he has lost weight. i am always fond of this sir. he is one who not only inculcates the subject matter to you but life principles as well. throughout his lessons, i feel i have not only developed as a student, as a human being as well. he taught us how to be a good human being.

we exchanged greetings. he taught i am still studying in university. laughed a bit there. do i still look that young?

i did explain my job nature and the hours i put in for this work. he did advise me again. he said, "chee seng, when you have studied until very high in life, do not be afraid to give it up in search of happiness. just be happy." these sentences are still vividly remembered. i understand what he meant. it really takes courage to be happy. i am serious. there a few things one need in order to be in the state, in my opinion:

1) stop comparing
2) realise that everyone's journey is different
3) stay true to yourself
4) know what you want in life
5) stick to it once you found what you want

yeah, i know sir. thank you again for the life learning advice. i am in midst of process. it just takes time.

forever a teacher and life guide

blogger listening to lego house by ed

ed

once in a while, you will come across a singer which you will think,"wow, he is good." recently, i found one. it's not mainly due to his voice or the music. it's because of the lyrics. it makes me wonder in my mind for quite some time, "how does he come out with such strong meaningful words to form the song." his perspective gives out a breath of fresh air to the music that i know.

i have literally search for the meaning of the songs. thumbs up.

for such creativity, i should thank a person when credit falls due as he deserves it, not that he needs any from me.

ed

own agenda

everyone has their own agenda. whatever it is, one will act according to one's agenda in mind.

take for instance,me. this year, we are having inter department games where everyone will play as a team according to your team. yours truly have decided to join other department to play volleyball. yes, i begin to love this game. at first, i feel it is alright because i just want to play along with a friend from another department. she is a good friend of mine. best buddy since joining the firm. and the thought of me might be leaving next year means this will be a last chance we can play together.

then i went for practice, everything seems fine. but when it comes to player selection, the team mastermind decided that my friend and i are best separated to different team.

part of me feel. hmmm. if the reason they are playing is to win and my reason to play is for companionship, i believe i am feeling reluctant to play anymore. hence, i do not feel obligated to play anymore.

don't get me wrong, i still love volleyball. it's just that i don't want to play this time around anymore. maybe i should just ask that i become a reserve player. in that way, i will feel better.

it's alright. things will not always go the way you want it. but feelings do matter, i choose to follow mine. to my best buddy, may you win the volleyball competition!

the routine

tuesday: volleyball practice

thursday: volleyball practice

sunday: badminton

with all the lines up for sports, i feel energised and contented. everytime i exercise, i feel i have more energy after the resting for a bit after doing sports. contentment comes in when you are very busy and yet managed to do sports. only an auditor will understand. all work no play makes your life revolves around numbers only. sometimes, i just need to socialise for a bit. if not, i will go crazy.

blogger listening to "demons by imagined dragons"

competitor

how do you define a competitor? do you fight nit and grit with your competitor. how one treats your competitor speaks a lot about the person.

i used to have one. to be exact, a classmate. this classmate of mine was kiasu at that time. me too. i admit. i don't like to lose. especially academically. criticise me for my foolishness during my youth but the only benchmark i ever know is the number of As out there; hence my race to get many As. it is not only the the number of As is important, the quality of A you have over your friends are important too. consider it something like relative comparison and absolute achievement.

it's nice to see many of these in your performance report card. one thing for sure, no question from parents.

there a few outstanding students in class, but you yourself know which one is your closest competitor. this one must have similar strengths as yours. whenever you did not do so well, you expected the same goes to that person. true enough. but later on, i noticed that our competitive advantage had diversified. my competitor more so in science and mathematics and yours truly am the language and artsy student. i grew to like the language subjects and with the exception to one science subject: biology.

the reason i wrote it down because i used to hang on to the thinking that, if i did well and my competitor did well. there is nothing to be proud off. that means, we were just performing with our normal selves but if you scored well and competitor did not, you felt proud.

after joining university, i no longer held such a view any longer. i begin to think what should i do to make myself marketable and yet happy doing it at the same time. i no longer had as much relative comparison. yea, it's nice occasionally to score high marks. it makes me sweeter if the subject is your favourite. humans... we can't stop comparing. but is there really a point to keep comparing. everyone wants different experience in life.

note to my past competitor: thank you. it has one hell of a race. i am glad that we have known each other. knowing you gives me the drive to do better. whatever the result is, as long as we have fought hard, the battle is already half won.

blogger currently listening to ♫ fish leong - ting bu dao

the humble pie

as days pass, i begin to understand what my mum used to tell me. when she said it last time, it sounded like illogical statements. not meant her to be crazy, i just could not understand her perspective.

for one, i slowly begin to understand what she meant, "how much one wears and eats in this life has been determined." at that particular moment, yeah right. if one doesn't work hard, there is nothing to wear and eat anyway. when i started working, i slowly see what she meant. even if you work hard and smart, if opportunity doesn't knock, you are nothing. if your meant to be successful, everything will come naturally. of course you will say it requires hard work as well. but who is not working hard? when you notice some people who are well off to do, you begin to compare, what a nice life to have. and then it will make you feel inadequate. from here, i learn that i am being discontented. what my mum gives is not so much in material wealth, she gives me in terms of principles in life and advice on how to handle things.

a store should sell humble pie and the eater should become instantly humble. that will be awesome

she wants me to be a critical thinker. she said don't trust your friends 100%, leave some for your own to think about. when you are in your teenage years, all you listen is your friends. i for one, learn to do things slightly differently because i choose to think for myself. well, i would say, i become a happier person because i think before i do. this has been a great advice i always cherish.

when she did mention how successful her friends' children are, i know she didn't mean to compare. because she already believe the adage of , "how much one wears and eats in this life has been determined." i think she just want to tell me, it's nice to have such comfortable things at life.

yes, mum. i do know what you meant by that. i will always remember what you said.

blogger begins to feel he is much more an adult than he used to be and glad to be at a phase when he can understand what those elderly always say. thank you for this enlightenment.

introversion of me that i didn't know

little did i know that i show sign of being an introvert. i always thought i am an extrovert. confidence at fault. i have mistakenly thought that being comfortable in social events makes me an extrovert. wrong. here is a little article extracted from someone's blue wall.

1) We don’t need you to care about our birthday. (blogger: yes, i support this argument)

Yeah, we don’t. We have friends who genuinely know us and care, if we care. However, an interesting thing about introverts, is some don’t need to celebrate it. We’re okay with quietly honouring the day on our own or with a group of friends we’ve carefully selected. We don’t have to let the world know.

2) We are not really listening as you recount your weekend. ( blogger: no, in all honesty, i sincerely want to know how you spend your weekend.)

Unless you are part of our circle of friends, we don’t care what you did last weekend. We are of the mind that everyone has a right to privacy, and if you chose to spend it in a drunken stupor or beating down the door of your ex, then that is up to you. We don’t judge, and find it takes too much energy to give it to people we don’t know. Just because we work with you, that doesn’t mean we know you.
3) We hate crowds. (blogger: agreed)

Large groups of people make us tired. All the stimulation of having so many different types from all walks of life can make us a little woozy. Some introverts are empaths, so they tend to take on the energy of others easily. We sometimes feel like we “know” everyone in the room and get easily overwhelmed with the swirl of activity.
4) We don’t really like networking events. (blogger: true)

This is especially hard for introverts who run a business. Networking makes us feel like we have to perform. We struggle to say the right thing and listen attentively. We don’t really care since we don’t know you. Even in business, we have to feel connected to someone on another level to get the most out of a networking type of event. This takes time, and choosing the right event, and coming up with a plan to offer value to others, while getting some for ourselves.
5) We force ourselves to act like we like you. (blogger: no la, actually I am quite real no matter where I go, definitely the one who like you. for one thing, I dislike acting)

This is the nasty truth. We know who we like and don’t. It can stem from many reasons that can have its roots in childhood to what we ate for breakfast this morning. Don’t take it personally. We appreciate honesty, and sometimes it hurts. To survive, we have to supersede these feelings and be nice. Nice can be harder than being real.
6) We know how to get stuff done. (blogger: i love emails, best invention ever)

We pack our alone time with activities–projects, phone calls, emails, rough drafts and blueprints for world takeover of our next big idea (which we have lots of). We value solitude because it lets us experiment with new concepts, plan and stretch our imagination. Anything is possible when we spend time alone, and what we create may change our lives, and yours, too.
7) We like to write things out. (blogger: guilty of this one)
We love email because it helps us get what we need without interruptions. Interruptions throw us off course, and we need to expend more energy to get back on track. So, please don’t call unless it is a close-ended question.

8) We feel safe with the right people. (blogger: who doesn't?)

When we have the right people in our lives, we give our all. We give our best selves. We become protective warriors who will fight almost any cause for someone we love. Just ask our friends. We blossom in the right company, and shine. It takes us time to find the right people, and when we do, we don’t hold back.
9) We do have friends, who really like us. (blogger: Ahoy!)
Introverts like people, and people like us. Most introverts have no issue with hanging out in groups, and spending time with others. If we have friends, it’s because we consciously chose them. We’ve put effort into the relationship, and our friends know that. We go to bars, parties, and meet new people. The difference is that not everyone we meet becomes a friend.

10) We can do the extrovert thing, for a while. (blogger: no, i don't do it anymore, not even for the sake of entertaining, I am turning into a recluse)

We have to do that to get along. We can be the life of the party, host the networking event, and be the chairperson of the charity. We do this willingly, knowing that at the end of the day we can go home. When we get there, it may take days, or weeks to replenish ourselves, and feel ready to do that again.
11) We are not shy, rude or uptight. (blogger: yes, i am not shy, a little rude and very sociable)
At first, we may seem that way. Get to know us, and we can actually make you laugh, and hold a conversation that lasts more than 15 minutes. The thing is, we don’t share this with everyone. Being “social” or “sociable” is an option, not a way of being. We can’t fake happy or excited really well, and we show what we think on our face, not as much in our words.
12) We are okay alone. (blogger: i need my reading time, anime time, drama time)

We have lots going on in our heads and don’t need more. Unlike our extrovert counterparts, we don’t need others for stimulation. We’re constantly working out life in our heads. We entertain ourselves with creative projects and know how to take ourselves out for a good time. More people, means more stuff to deal with, and we’ve got enough of our own energy to hold.
13) We hate small talk. (blogger: yalor)

We’re thinkers, and we relish conversations about big ideas, theories and ideals. We rarely get into small talk and do so comfortably.
14) We make a choice to be with you–appreciate it. (blogger: secretly hoping that all my friends know this)

We value our alone time and are picky about who we let in. Letting in the wrong person will drain us, leaving nothing for ourselves. We tend to attract extroverts who suck our energy, and search out likeminded introverts for our groundedness, deep thinking and sense of control. We appreciate our time with other introverts and have an understanding of each other’s limits and boundaries.

Out of the 14 points stated in the article, 12 really resemble who i am. i have no idea. at certain point in time, probably during university time, i begin to abhor huge gathering. i always told my uni mates, 7-9 people are cool. anymore than that, i am out. i like to hang out with close friends. i guess there is nothing wrong in how i acted then. because i am just who i am. do you like me the way it is?

reminds me of the joyous time we travelled in taipei

25

This year. I am 25. A good number I would say. As I started off with a few celebrations. Back in Sydney days, I would celebrate with close friends. Fun and memorable.

When I started working, I celebrated with family. After 2 years of working, this year marks the year I have friends in the work place whom I celebrated with. Usually, I would be discrete about my birthday. Don't want to cause a scene. This year I hinted to a close friend at work place. And I got two pieces of cake. Good strategy. Not that I want to eat cake, I would like to spend time with people I care about. A week before that, I had a memorable dinner with my family. And on the same day as well, I had another slice of cake with a friend. She is my best friend, or I can safely said, my pasar malam kaki.

I told my sister. Birthday celebration is not something i am used to because we don't celebrate birthday at home. It is only recently that I had birthday celebration since college days. She said, of course la, house financials were not that good. Now that we are finally better off, then can splurge a bit. I agreed. But I yearn to have this day with people who matter.

With these celebrations etched in mind, I think it's one of the birthdays that I will always remember. Not only the time spent with loved ones and also a hand phone as gift from brother and sister. I feel blessed. Thank you, 2014. You have made me a very happy birhday boy.

Here are some of the photos:

The Future

it was an invitation to help out at the orphanage. since it was a private event, i was thinking why not. just draw and distribute food to the kids. i thought it might do myself and the kids good since drawing is one of my favourite subjects. mediocre level compared to those friends of mine. still, i like the concept of colours being blended together and shading.

when i reached, i was the first one to reach. as i wasn't familiar with the home, i decided to loiter in my car, awaiting my friends. then, when my friend arrived, we started the meet and greet session. the kids were ravenous but surprisingly obedient. they were sitting in a big circle in the living room. hence, i started distributing the pizzas around. some were quite shy and some were quite daring. understandable as everyone is entitled to eat as much as they want.

while they were eating, i started to think. if i myself felt inadequate last time, what about they? of course, they have a shelter, a master to take care of them and an occasion outings. when i was younger, i craved for special attention. that makes me felt special. how do they feel? and i also thought about the disadvantages it brings being an orphan. well, i hope they are still too young to understand. all they should know is, with education, the possibilities are endless. i hope they have that in mind.

after the lunch, the event organiser asked the children to group around her. she was very suave and charismatic. she resembled one of my aunties residing in ampang. very similar style in the way she carry herself, the way she talk and even the cantonese dialect she speaks. i was impressed. thats how i decided, she must be as kind as the auntie i had. you may say i judge too quickly, but i say, my instinct and judgment beats your whatever-too-long-observation-requirements-to-be-good a crap. sometimes, you just know whether a person is kind or not from his/her actions and speeches. you don't have to wonder to far off.

then, she briefed them stating that she wanted to draw a picture. and the title is jeng jeng jeng, "The Future". i was taken aback for a moment there. a topic i stopped thinking for awhile. it got me thinking. what is the future that i want to see? she mentioned it can be anything 50 years from now. oh perfect. my retirement plan. haha. all i was thinking was reading, a beach and a picture. a bit odd but those were things that popped up in my mind at that time. so i just decided to draw along. why not.

everyone got into their positions with their utensils ready: a brush, buncho water colours, a pencil and a drawing paper. i distributed the papers around to check that everyone has a piece. i don't hope that by taking one myself, one poor kid will have none. luckily there is extra going around. yippie for me.

while drawing, there is this kid, "Onn", who told me he loves "seni" in school and he had been to melaka to visit the stadhuys building and singapore's universal studio. wah, kids nowadays are pretty lucky right. only 10 years old had the chance to visit singapore, he kept asking me what he was drawing. i have to keep guessing. he kept pushing until i get it right. i was relieved.

after finishing my drawing, i talked to him for a bit. for don't know what reason, he decided to take another paper and started a new paper. okay, maybe he has overflowing of creativity juice in his head. the purpose of this project is to let their creativity run free. i agreed. it did the job for me. for a moment there, i felt happy.

after finishing and all the cleaning up of my brush and polystyrene plate, i saw a kid holding my drawing. i asked him. yes, do you want to add colours to it, he nodded. okay la, since he was so keen, takkan i say tak boleh kan? there he goes. but after a while, my drawing was missing. that good huh? it's alright. i live for the moment, not for the picture. to me, the picture is just a window opportunity to see myself and to know what i want in the Future.

it has been a humbling experience to be able to learn from all this. one, you don't have to have a lot to be happy. two, you just have to make do with what you have. three, you can be kind to others, and others shall be kind to you.

a few photos to share to end the day. definitely a weekend to remember.

i was fortunate enough to grab a photo of my drawing before it went missing. =D

the kid who refined my painting. suspect no.1 for my missing drawing. it's ok. he can have it.

and the rest of them. the indian kid called me brother. i almost wanted to laugh of how informally he addressed me.

ps: my friend said she will organise one in the future. i gave her a doubtful look. she said, "don't look like you don't enjoy it. i know you did." she is reading me like a book. hope to be back in the future.

welcoming 2014

oh, hello. happy new year! various parties have wished us a better year ahead. i like the optimism. i hope the optimism lasts for the entire year. optimism is quite a hard quality for me to master. for 2013, i learn a bit better and i think i have become a better person by instilling positiveness into my life.

for one, i learn to take thing less seriously. less seriously as in when issue arises, i learn to be calm, think and act upon it rather than just reacting based on the impact of the issue. this new way of addressing the issue seems to blend well. i learn it from a friend of mine. i downloaded an app about positive notes, set some goals and be optimistic. first accomplishment for 2013 is i have completed all my CPA papers. woohoo! second one would be now i am a senior associate. another thumbs up. *fling dust from my shoulder.

2013 is quite a good year. happy events happened. sister gave birth. i am now uncle, hence, one person will constantly calling me "Uncle Seng". i feel like pinching his chubby face but since he is only 2 weeks plus old; i decided to delay my intention. hehe... 2013 had been a good one. thank you.

one feels like pinching the cheeks right?