mucho gracias

i am quite glad that a friend suddenly brought food to my house last. i was pretty much distracted yesterday for whatever reason on my mind. it is an act of simple kindness but it is very much needed. although it is ta pow food, the act itself carries more weight to me. it is during this time i feel a little blessed i have friend who cared.

i should say one accomplishment to me is i manage to find a friend like this. it is the same goes for another friend who come to my house and cook because her room does not have cooking area. ending up she taught me a new recipe. haha. although it is just another extra action from my normal frying, the result is so much different. glad to know.

i believe cooking and food bring a lot of friends and family together. now i know the meaning my mom used to portray. i often question why must you always cook since it takes so much work and energy. i believe i have answered the question myself. to the friends, mucho gracias. eres mi mejor amigo. go and find out the meaning okay? it is spanish. i know the word amigo by heart.

blogger feeling high spirited.......

this is serious

i believe that at times i am being misconstrued as not a serious person because i love to laugh, a lot and quite loudly. i know it myself. but at times, when i talk, please listen because what i say might be serious at times. and this time around i am being serious.

today, i do not feel like talking actually. after becoming the emcee for the event 'mamak night' today, i am surprised i still have the energy to talk. but after hearing an incident from a close friend of mine, i don't feel like talking. not because i don't want to, but i feel disgusted.

you know, i began signalling some issues crawling up within the society when some of the girls started crying. one cry because she thought she did badly for her performance, that is understandable. another cry because of stress. that is is also acceptable. but this last one cry for a reason i found totally worth crying. she feel sexually harassed.

i totally kept quiet at first, trying to think quickly what should i say to her. as a very close friend of mine, i find such thing is very disheartening. not because she is my friend, not because she is my close friend, but i believe because she needs respect for herself and stand tall for being a woman.

i find it sickening that this guy who has the guts to do it so publicly as there is a witness. but the girl wants to remain anonymous though i offered her a solution to bring up this issue for the next meeting. i respect her as a friend not to disclose in details but i find myself dealing with the issue more maturely by discussing the issue with my vice president. not to find fault, but to come up with an amicable solution.

to be personal, i actually hate that guy. he seldom contribute, always lost when the society needs him, and has the bravery to say that i am not doing that well in the organisation of the event process. fine, i actually can tolerate that because i do not wish to listen to someone who loves to point out mistake instead of giving better solution and helping around. i learn that there is a lot of people in this world and some is just there to bring you down. he is definitely one of them.

by doing such indecent acts to my friend, my hatred towards him built up. to not cause any embarrassment or being seen as trying to cause a scene, i hope that my vice president will deal with this problem.

everyone might think i am making mountain out of a molehill. but i am not, another guy saw it. and there is another victim who told the guy who saw it. i think sexual harassment is a big issue. you can brush it aside but i urge you to learn to know this issue well. you might say this will not happen to you as a guy or you can say it won't happen to me as a girl. think carefully, you might have a daughter in the future. and your mother is definitely a woman. to that guy, how would you feel if your mother is being treated this way? if another guy ask your mother to go back with him? even as joke, i can't sense any humour in it at all. and he did touch inappropriately. if i knew then and there, you would have been given a punch. this i promise you.

i hope that telling her to take it as a life experience and learn to say NO to the guy the next time is the right thing to do. i keep telling her to calm yourself down after crying. if you can come through this time, you will definitely have grown up. i am doing the right thing? i am not sure, but i can say that i have done my part to console her, give her advice and try to joke with her to cheer up. i have done my best for her. i hope she is feeling better now.

blogger feels that life sucks sometimes and this time around, he just seem to unable to suck it up because this is serious.

the brothers of sila, samadhi, panna

once attended a camp, the participants will call each other brother and sister. i think it is a very valuable and memorable event. one, it brings everyone feeling closer to each other. afterall, everyone is human and there must be a linkage that bonds us together. it might be our individual pursuits with worldly pleasure that this linkage has been weakened.

recently, while rummaging through my old books, both academic and non academic, i came across a small religious book that i brought along with me in my adventure to Down Under. i remember it is a minor reminder that whatever i do, i must stay true to myself, spiritually and morally. i think i am still pretty much my old self, just a little wiser i hope since i encounter quite a bit of experience here. i begin to see things from perspective that i never thought i would.

hence, i will begin practising my sila, samadhi and panna. one comes after another yet, they will come together through practice and cultivation. wish me luck. at least, by realising things that matter, i have taken a baby step in knowing me. and admitting my weakness is a step. i think selfishness is one of them. there you go.

blogger feels relief....

wish 许愿

wish is such a good thing to say. as simple as the voice from the heart. but at times, voice coming from the heart is not that easy to say out. not because it is too ambitious, too big or too fancy, it is because it might be too simple

i attended a friend's lunch farewell. he is going back home, Indonesia to work. if i am not mistaken, he will be back to be part of a great project that relates to power plant. sounds so cool and fancy. yes, he is. even his master is called power engineering. everyone is beginning to colour the lives with exciting dreams. i also heard a senior is quitting an audit job to go for business development trainee. well, at least he knows what he wants in life.

part of me is like the ship, wandering aimlessly in the vast wide open ocean. part of me wants to be like a bird, flying high. nothing but reaching the sky. the big question comes to where is the destination i want to be? at times, i tell some friends that i want a simple life. more often than not, i would tell people my dream. i am definitely a dreamer, not a follower. i want to see changes, i want to be the force of change. at the end of the day, i believe everyone is feeling the same like me, just at different point of their lives.

but that being said, life wouldn't be as exciting if it has been planned for you just to walk it. it would fun sometimes to derail from your main path and take the road not taken. it maybe different, but not necessarily scary. in about a year's time, i would have been landing myself in a job. hopefully the one that i wish. been surveying the market jobs recently. i am little bored with so many jobs offering personal wealth management consultants but they involves selling products. =_= and i thought i can get rid of selling products and services once and for all. 3 days of direct selling thought me that. in the environment of fierce competition, you either be really pushy, thick faced or end up being loser. okay, probably you know the answer.

i think i am being too honest during that time. the reason i am not selling well is because i do not believe in the product. it is just way too expensive and i felt like i am cheating. what the heck. others may say i am too innocent, i think i just wish i can have peaceful sleep at night, knowing full well that i have passed myself as a human being. too much is being said in the society. there is always going to be perspective, it all depends on how you interpret and define what you feel is right.

(the view from my window, how it looks lovely with so many colours in a single tree. can you stay that way always?)

one more wish: if only i could write my blog in Mandarin, that would surprise everyone. probably not in the near future. all i could write is 我是许志成。and i am not really sure that is even correct or not. wait, i can write my blog in Bahasa. i once fell in love with bahasa. then along the way, the love just faded away, just like how the footprints on the sand fades at the wind blows.......

Nightmare

it was kinda creepy.... it was unprecedented.... i found myself waking up screaming in the middle of the night. i literally could hear my voice when i was awaken. what was that? 

i dunno why, it happened to me last year that i was having constant nightmares as well. any cure? wash my feet before i sleep. drink hot milk before bedtime. and read a book to calm myself down. the dream was weird.... i felt like i was underwater breathing....and then suddenly changed scene to a one that involves a black colour jelly that is running around and it looks like a tadpole. it kept growing and growing. while it was running here and there, everyone was like shouting. until it becomes a super big,1m tadpole and runs towards me =S that is the moment i shouted and waken up. hmmm...any idea what the msg is? 

blogger feeling the uneasiness of sleeping will come again tonight. he might as well get himself drunk.  

the radio is definitely playing with my emotion

when i am randomly switching on the radio from my antique, classic handphone, it is pleasant enough with oldies music airing that time. i feel the air of familiarity where my mum always played in the kitchen back home. suddenly i felt today the theme is all about love and friendship. aiksss.... they are playing my emotions is it? maybe it is gentle reminder i should take a pace back. i am currently at my peak period between rushing assignment, organising event, and presentation today. not bad i should say, keep playing with my emotions. i can almost feel the breakdown recently. all i want to do is just rest and sleep. onegai ....please... alright, at least the radio is being nice. for that, i shall do my work with a happy feeling.

blogger feeling happy like a little kid for receiving a gift from a very dear friend. this friend made me cried once. haha.... you know you love me. it is not the gift that counts, it is the thought that counts. next time a unique postcard will make my day too. haha =) but please don't stop sending gifts okay, nobody is complaining... thank you!

breathe

it is the time to breathe in. i have too much to think about now. two assignments, an event to organise and a presentation this week. dear diary, i wish week 10 quickly pass and week 13 never comes. oppps. that means i will be eternally stuck in third year, unable to graduate. wait, let me rephrase, dear diary, i wish december 2011 quickly comes.... i have a vacation in mind, work to do and fireworks to watch.

my friend asked me to chill, my mum asks me to take good care of myself. hence, i have been slacking, slacking and watching tv. =) i am just being a good boy by listening to what my mum said. i want to live a life...just recently, i suddenly blurted out to a friend, i always feel like i am waiting for something to happen in my life. thats the reason, i find things secondary when in comes to importance. but what is it? i don't know. maybe i am just being plain me. the differentiator who refused to be perfect identical human as everyone else.

can somebody tell me what i should do with life? i know it is impermanent, life is not about money. it is about power. muahahaha.....i am no control freak okay? i just want to talk substantial stuff and feel importance in life. something like being in control but spontaneous.

next, there is this hype of people singing friday song in different version. out of boredom, i went random blogging again. such a small world, there are two persons who are friends of my friend that did just that. did you recall the girl who sing the 5 version in one song. she is from melaka. yeah, i think the world is getting smaller thanx to you, internet and cyber space. i am loving you more each day.

ohhhh yea! the most important thing of the day. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! i did call home. this has been the third year i am not home during mother's day. oh well, my present did arrive though because this job is normally executed by my lovely sister. i shared the $$. it sounds insincere. but come to think again, insincere is better than no sincerity at all, right right? muackz muackz to my mum. here is the picture of her.

see her high cheekbones.... apparently, all my siblings (me included) have that. trademarks in my family.... thank you, Mum. for being a good confidante, a good advisor, an awesome cook, a caring and possessive MUM that you always have been. mucho gracias.

PS: this pic is taken when she was teaching me how to cook "ham cha"... ^^

Teaser

there is a recent hype of friends getting DSLR. when i went back home last summer, i am surprised two of my closest friends actually got DSLRs. as i am not a photo taking person, i am not that really into camera and photography. i uphold the principles of living the moment. if you are too busy taking the photos, you dun have time to breathe in the moment, don't you? well, i still believe it is up the interest of the individuals. i ain't a hater, just a freedom believer. but up to one point, this friend, was taking photos all the time that i find what's the purpose we came out and lim teh? so to commemorate this event, i wish to share a photo that i found while i was random walking around top blogger in malaysia. his blog is awesome...... with the theme serius. yup, you read it right 'SERIUS' because his blog is written in the malay language but the content is definitely eye catching.

i acknowledge that it is quite offensive but i really do think we have to stop taking photos in every occasion. one picture is fine larrrr...... but then takkan you want more than that =.= and also this blog stated one hilarious statement:

When it comes to the days in the week, even the calendar agrees that after Monday and Tuesday, the rest are just W T F. haha..... i can't agree more or less. perfecto. now you can get what i mean when i say i just love random walking. this small piece of note makes my day. someone witty must have discovered this. i wonder who is that witty person.

blogger feeling refreshed all over again after drinking his nescafe. he is now starting to do his valuation case study.

face value

with so much information to be screened through, at times human tends to browse through them very quickly. is this the right way of executing? the columnist in the star mentioned that with the digital age happening at such a rampant pace, do we somehow miss something that is really important even without us really realising it. i would like to say no but sadly yes. young people as claimed by the columnist are always in the rush for answers. they do not care how to get there but want to know what is there ASAP. hmmm.... i can't proudly say i am not one of the foolish young people because i was young once. when a teacher told me, slowly, chee seng. you will get the answer someday. the blood running through my body is hot i feel like talking back but i calm down and go through the daunting process of getting the know how. true enough, i learnt my mistake.

back to this digital age, so many journals can be researched on these days. pick a topic and google it. the chance of not finding anything is zero unless you are typing some alien language that nobody understand. i am happy to know that at least internet user has the capacity to learn but at what price? transparency? reliability? or bias? every writer has its own agenda. if one doesn't have one, the article wouldn't be interesting at all. couple with a fast paced lifestyle, it is an acceptable fact for every decision maker to want summary of the facts presented but is summary good enough? perhaps yes depending on the motive of the provider.

 i hope we are not so bounded by so much info. part of me wish that i don't have to be borned in this generation. i just want the simple newspapers and my cup of coffee at the kopitiam. and i would want it to be black please: simple, easy and classic.

life

life has no meaning if you think it does not have one. it does, when you think it has. awkward yet true. it all depends on the power of human mind. the meaning doesn't have to be really great. a simple mean of achieved happiness is a one meaning in life. so, forget about your worry and sorrow. start finding simple meaning in life. learning, happiness, family and friends are my simple meanings in life. =)