that's it

recent silence is due to me having nothing much to say at work. not that i have nothing to say, i am being bogged down by something else. initially, i thought i am the odd one out. i have these two junior colleagues of mine. they are very talkative and laugh like crazy. and the weird thing is, i am not laughing and talking. i just give them the silent treatment and a smile. do you know in my circle of friends, i never do that silent thing. i guess i really have to. the thing is, i expect some level of depth while talking. okay, if jokes, i laugh if i get it. but they just laugh at everything and the topic is usually lame. i find it frustrating. what the hell... this is really not my depth.

then comes this whole week training. as my firm has a few department, i was randomly picked to sit with the majority of another department (TCE). i am from GFS department. and i find that i really can click very well with them. at least i get their jokes and i laugh. then this junior colleague of mine is the one emo sitting with us. so here comes my thinking. i am thinking much how to fit in all along but i forget to realise: hey, everyone is different. if you don't click, you don't la. hence, i learn a pretty important lesson. not every joke is laughable. not everyone has to be pleased. and to the hell with them. i ain't doing that and i don't talk cock or cantonese says "chui sui". i am not the problem, i am just different.