a good haircut day

after lamenting that my friend has bad hairstyle, my sister suddenly asked me to go have a haircut. okay. since it is near and free, might as well hop on.

i think this haircut will put my mum to faint if i to cut this all the time. i manage to convince her by saying this hair will not last long because my hair grows very fast. for friends who know me for life, i bet this is the first time me doing this right, right?

please say it looks like a spider web rather than a pakua like my mum. 

blogger is feeling good.

post christmas

it has been 3 days since christmas passed by. quite a good one. a bag from my brother. i have already expected it. for my siblings, we have a ritual which we do not tell each other what we are going to buy for each other. and since i have been lazing around the house whole day. while cleaning, i accidentally saw a parkson plastic bag. when i look inside, it is brand new bag pack. for an instance, i thought "is it a new bag my brother buy for himself". then, the light bulb lighted. AHA. it must be my christmas present. and from my sis, a belt and wallet. what i got for them? eau de toilette, which is literally aromatic waters or layman term puts it as perfume. it is what i saw for bargain during my flight from sydney back home. 20% discount is sufficient to push me to go for them as christmas present. something unique and classy for the first time.

today, the wind blows strongly. the situation that best fits how strong the wind is, is after sweeping the floor for ten seconds, i can see dust and particles on the floor. oh great. the chinese new year wind is here. i am looking forward to my trip to Taipei. weeeeee..... it has been so long since i last travelled to new zealand. and i might be able to meet a friend there. nice. bus ticket from malacca to lcct: bought (so awesome that malacca central decides to operate a direct bus service from melaka to lcct. kudos Transnasional) . the last thing left to do is prepare a luggage bag. the truth is, i have not unpacked my luggage because my cupboard is too small to fit my clothing in addition to my CNY 2012 clothes. so, what clothes comes back from sydney stays in the luggage. weird but true. i have too many casual clothes. and the thought of changing my whole closet comes to my mind before packing in sydney but my guilty conscience takes over me.

according to a men's magazine, for a young working class, it is time for me to drop the label and go for simple T. a thorough search in my wardrobe reveals a childish part of me. i have lots of printed T shirts. still, let's see how my consumerism behaviour changes when working starts. for now,i think my wardrobe is good. enough to be the trendy working class. =) do not get me wrong, i do not go for expensive labels. a simple Giordano will do for me. i am not the type to go for AX yet. perhaps in the future.

blogger is tinkering with the thought of bringing his travelling book along. so far, it has travelled to 2 countries. it has to go further and hope it doesn't end after the third. the blogger hopes santa will treat him good and brings him a samsung galaxy wonder phone. pretty please. i need it.

the most wonderful time of the year

it is definitely the time of the year that i cherish the most. christmas. wheee..... presents bought and wrapped. cards written and sent! though i leaked my intention to send a card to a friend because i need to confirm her address. it was meant to be a surprise just like how i return back home. turns out she had an expectation i will be sending her card. cheh! you are taking me for granted. i shall not send you next year. =)

and the television shows and movies adds warm to the season by spreading the joy of christmas. all this years,christmas=holidays=eat=family=mahjong. no difference in comparison to chinese new year but with christmas you had gift exchanging which to me, is more meaningful that the cold hard cash. it is true with cash, you can buy the things you like but with gifts, thoughts have to be put into the buying process. it adds virtues of sincerity and heart into it. unless one just recycles the present.


while some believe it is a time to be spent travelling, i personally would prefer stay at home. it is the time of the year to get together. people are spending less time with family members in my opinion. there is nothing wrong in pursuing one's dream but in the process, be reminded that family should have a placing in one's heart. i am not sure what i am crapping about. time to end my post.

oh, i visited midvalley megamall yesterday. the christmas decoration is awesome. it takes the theme of fairy tale which has garden and stone poles. good good. unfortunately, yours truly has no camera at the moment. not a fan of photo taking.

blogger is off running to help his mum in the kitchen to cook chicken rice.

irony

the irony of general fellow malaccans leaves me unimpressed. what are you doing? driving on the fast lane at tortoise pace. where goes the community spirit which encourages understanding and logic. driving in melaka puts my adrenaline to a high level.

been running errands like nobody's business. grocery,medicine and prayers stuff. then while surfing through my friend's new food blog, i chuckle when i saw the statement where blog will be updated every 1st and 15th of the month. if you go according to the chinese calendar, that will be the date my mum will specifically buy fruits and pray to my home altar. hence, the similarity lets me wonder why is the date chosen. i am quite certain he is not that pious. but i do know my friend is working hard on his food blog. personally, i am not a fan. give facey. reason being it only talks about melbourne food outlets. besides, i can't see the relevance to me. yes, the word "i" is very important nowadays. if the readers can see no relevance, your blog will be forgotten. considering his is one that aspires to be featured in food blog of the year,i think he has long way to go.

the thing i like is the joke section. short and funny. some have been read ages ago but for new reader, it will be worthwhile. i have no inspiration to join top blogger, i just want a medium of expression.

i feel a bit guilty for not liking the blog. because if i subject to liking it, i feel i am not honest. for compensation, i have listed the blog under my blog list. take a look if you are/will be in melbourne for a food adventure. ohhh, my friend will be undergoing an european trip as well. catch him at drew's travel foodprints. alas, ciao.

blogger feels that he is being very critical to other blogger as he believes if you want to start something, make sure it is done good, or else, don't do it.

ding dong merrily little on high

you heard of this? no? me neither. i have no idea the title while this song is being played on my lappie and vehicle music player. all i know it makes me feel soothing. of all the christmas carols i heard, i prefer this best. though the lyric is a bit odd. it has the same element like "good day o' mate." and the lyric itself has the two words of 'ye ringers'. that is totally odd. but i think christmas songs are created centuries ago and some stand the test of time and their accents remain. good. i like how it sounds. though i have trouble searching for the song and singing along.

blogger in christmasy mood. he find it odd that certain people have started playing chinese new year songs. he is thinking of playing christmas song during cny. but the oddest is the fact the blogger likes the carol which seldom people notice.

for the very first times:

last week has been hell of a week. considering from last wednesday till yesterday wednesday, i did numerous stuffs that can be considered crazy and exciting. for the very first times, within a week i:

worked a fruit picker, nectarine to be exact

~the place is quite secluded. but i stayed beside a lake. perfect.

crashed three different friends' houses, 2 in sydney, 1 in melbourne. i am becoming house crasher. not too bad at all. it gives you the taste of backpacker. hopping here and there. on the way to my friend's place, i saw a crowd surrounding the glass cabinet. christmas ornaments.

travelled on train from sydney-melbourne and melbourne-sydney.

~ the view is spectacular. unfortunately, the journey was not all bed of roses. on the way from sydney-melbourne, the train broke down. i got stuck in the middle of nowhere for 2 hours. and the train backtracked to the previous station ( how cool is that for a backtracking train). and took a bus and reached melbourne at 2am. total journey period: 19 hours. my butt was sore to the core. yet, it was memorable not the least. talked to my friend all the time. the silver lining out of this is that i got refunded for my ticket. thus, i traveled for free =)

brought june in december to visit around sydney.

~a friend has stopped by in sydney to have a look around. actually, the main tour guide is my friend, look. i am just the third party/light bulb. haha..... something is going on but i can't be too sure. her mum was here. hmmm... is it time to meet the parent? ohhh....while touring around sydney, i kept eating and eating from chat thai to sweeties paradise plus pancake on the rocks. all in all, i was stuffed as all the food was munched in a single day. and all these have made me gained 3 kilos.

surprised my mum when i told her i was to come home on 22nd December but in fact, i planned to reach on 6th December.

surprised my friends who were reading this because i am back to Melaka now. For yumcha, karaoke, and movies, please contact my mobile at 016 648 1228. 

bought my christmas gifts for my family. 25% off at international airport on the day i visited. plain awesome. and i got myself a ck spray for 14bucks. bargain.

the greatest event of all, i caught a glimpse of rainbow in the plane on my way home. a sign of welcoming me eh?  

feels great to be home. in two days, i have "telan" durian, wan tan mi and Hassan mi goreng. time to pester my mum to fulfill her promise to make bak zhang for me. 

ohhh, and i have cleaned my room for Christmas as well. december has been off to a great start. for those who celebrate, merry christmas. just in case, i am too busy swimming on the table. 

social party gathering

23rd november marks a revealing yet surprising day for me. there i was in the land where i used to dream to further my studies in. part of me felt a little relief that it din come true. after watching myself how others gather for "farewell and drinking" session, i was shocked.

when i arrived, it was a bit awkward because there are 20 plus of them and i only knew 4 of them. yet, i decided long time ago not to get drunk in a foreign place with foreign people. hence, my decision to stick to playing cards and mahjong (ohhh mahjong, how have i misssed you). things are fine before 12am before the shots were called for. after shots were flushed down the throats of the happy-go-lucky people, things get interesting.

you could literally see people acting in a funny and interesting ways. one who claimed to have stopped drinking soon join the shots calling. wow, how funny it was to see him saying rubbish while playing mahjong. i did share the laughter for a person acting so silly. inside my heart, i was thinking, thank god it was not me.

one happy event was when a new couple emerged out of this gathering. apparently, there is this girl who had a crush on a guy. and things started to blurt out due to alcohol influence. the devil act or luck of romance? i wonder. but at least now things were clearer and better for the two people. i just hope they have not forgotten what they said during the gathering. if not, it will be awkward for the girl because she is quite sober. hmmm....

then from clown acting to love romance came heart-2-heart talk. i found very welcome for being given the opportunity to listen. the guy was quite a poor thing. for a mistake which i dun seem like a mistake at all. is it wrong for him to like a girl? i think not. unfortunately, what i think is wrong was the fact that the reaction given by the girl. she took it as invasion of privacy. funny. just when i thought flattery element is at hand, it turned out way too negative. well, this shows that the saying "it takes all sorts to make the world" is true. what one thinks as friendly is taken negatively. lesson in life: better know a person well enough before making any move. the girl might not give you a very clear signal or doesn't really like you.

the people are quite disappointed that i din even take a sip of alcohol. hey, i am new here. fair reason, right? besides, the sight of lots of them taking the hugging the toilet bowls puts my perspective right again. really an eye opener as a close friend said. indeed.

reacher and settler

in a show today, i came to know about these two words. they are used for people in a relationship. according to the friend, a reacher is for someone in the relationship reaches for someone above his/her level while the settler settles for someone less.

hmmm... interesting. now it makes sense. so, what makes you a settler or reacher? it depends on your qualities i guess. but i think appearance and personality affect lots. if i start having this thought in my head, i am scared one day i might ask my friend. better ditch this thought from my head. while it is true that such thing exist, as long as they are happy, does it really matter who is the settler or reacher?

and usually the settler will not get jealous if the opposite sex tries to woo the partner because the settler is in the mind that reacher will not leave the settler because the settler is the best person the reacher will ever get. haha. okay, time to get to revision.

humanitarian

in life, i think i learn this word from 2 friends. friends who think about others' need above themselves. to be able to talk to them gives me a sense of hope that this world is not so bad after all.

when i talk to them, i feel like they are actually championing the social cause which i myself cannot even grasp. at one point in my life, i have thought of embracing humanitarianism as well, but the thought of me doing the act itself dies off when i was around 13. suddenly, i felt the world is too complex. suddenly, i understood what it means you always don't get what you want. that's the point in my life which i gave up opting medicine as my choice of career. the point which tells me the S word with two vertical lines rule the world. in a world where in order to adopt humanitarianism requires that symbol puts me off.

it is true. tell me, how can you help orphan? tell me, how does aids people can be helped? tell me how poverty can be solved? yes, the symbol is the necessary evil to solve such matters. but with my view at such an infant age, having two friends at different points of my life gives me breath of fresh air that though i may not be bill gates that pledges billions of dollars after death nor am i the superman that saves the world, in my daily life, i can still help people whenever i am put in a position to do so.

this should be my resolution for this movember month. with own effort, i might not change the world. with my act and words, hopefully everyone begins to act and spread, and the world can become a better place. sometimes, i feel i am destined to something but i am not sure what it is. maybe i am destined to be a humanitarian. time is not issue. the issue is to obtain the obscene symbol. with that, my humanitarian mission will be accomplished more easily.

my friend told me money will not satisfy him. even if he has a lot, he will not be really happy with it. true, to me, having lots of money also doesn't satisfy me either. one thing it does, it eliminates my sense of insecurity. as i have grown without it, i know how bad it is to have none. money buys me security, not comfort nor pleasure. you can never imagine how being lack of it brings you discrimination, tears and concern. yes, that's how my view is being developed.

hopefully, i can be an inspiration to others and tell them that if i can do it, so can you. cherish life and live it. if you already feel life is at the bottom. look up, it can't get any worse, will it? i think this is the most powerful sentences one can say to cheer up a friend. how do i know? because i think this is what i believe in. if only someone were there to tell me back then, i guess it would be easier. but learning it myself is not that bad either, at least i can tell it next time from experience.

there you are, now i found you

i was surprised myself to find her. she looks ordinary but sounds extra ordinary. with this find, i am convinced that a gem has been found in the vast wide ocean. her voice is very unique, deep in a way that is very melodious. ohhh. how i wish i found you earlier.

blogger feels that a treasure has been found. care to share? nah, he wants to keep her to himself for awhile there.

The LV and GC

of all the brands that i know, these two etched the strongest memory. the story branding comes to mind when i watch drama series. at that time, the two girls were comparing who is wearing what, and who is having what. the name LV usually makes head turn, oh wait, i mean girls only. the marketing this semester puts branding in such a high importance that not knowing LV and GC means i never study at all. and the name of Apple kept being mentioned puts me off too. yada, yada, yada. apples did this, apple did that. for a person who does not own an apple, i can't seem to appreciate the marketing strategy on hand. to sum it up in one sentence, it is just cool because everyone is using it. but the thought of me being cynical comes again, since when that the consumers like to own what is everyone else is owning. hmmmm..... i think with increasing globalisation, everyone yearns for social acceptance. can be owning products and i guess personality can just be flung out of window because such thing doesn't hold much value any more.

if you happen to watch the devils wear prada. that title itself carries another brand. in my world, branding carries not much meaning. one, i couldn't afford. two, i am too rational to pay premium for a stuff that i think can be satisfied with a normal one.

from not knowing to knowing more, i begin to observe people's obsession for such a product. does brand really carry much meaning? yes, if you are those who like to associate yourself with a brand. i am quite surprised that one day, a friend of a friend's was wearing a BS t-shirt (the brand has two circles within a circle). a random question of i see that circles a lot puts me an awkward position when he particularly mentioned that it is a trademark of that designer. is he annoyed that i din know? towards a certain extent, i think yeah.

i wonder what is my problem or what his is. the problem that i couldn't recognise one or the fact that he needs somebody to know he is wearing branded. who is the shallow one? who is the ignorant one?

i guess the question depends on who is answering the question. i am just not obsessive but i think i know a few. in my life, not much branded stuffs have been worn. the thought of having one is there but the more rational me will tell me to stop day dreaming and be realistic in life.

i can live without a brand but i cannot live with the thought of having to think of brand all the time.

childish or childlike

the fact that i was living next to a nursery is splendid. at times, i watch kids playing happily, laughing all the while. i wonder when do i start growing up that i forget to laugh. wait, i did not forget to laugh. i forget it just requires a simple reason to laugh.

take the kids for instance, one boy was holding a bucket of water. suddenly, he throw the water straight on the friend's face. just when i was waiting for a reaction, another friend did the same. i wanted to laugh but i stopped   . the victim's reaction was even more surprised. he shouted and laughed. HAHA. i was smiling all the way seeing that children really have no hidden intention and holds no grudge. they just laugh.

it takes me a while to think when i start forgetting to laugh over this such simple stuff. of course, i would be a little surprise if friends do that, but part of me knows that they are just too proper to act in such a way. perhaps, adults lose the fun when they grow up. ohhh kids. they just made my day there.

blogger thinks that perhaps children should rule the world. wars can be avoided for sure because everyone will be busy laughing.

in the name of love

it is ironic that the subject marriage comes to mind when exam is so close. tuesday to be exact. the other day, i was having lunch with a friend. suddenly, i asked, "when do you think you will get married?" he replied he will do that when he knows the right one arrives but he noted that he believes that one should not date too long because if not, all the magic will be lost. i was =O why? isn't dating the fun before marriage. what he said was true as well. if you think marriage means the end of fun, then you are probably wrong. okay la, for a person with zero relationship with anyone before, i am not in anyway qualify to say anything.

all this while, i keep thinking. why do one has to get married? i was quite firm when i told my mum i might not consider marriage as the path i will take in the future. i get a vehement no. she said, what will happen to you when you get old. who will take care of you? i was wondering, if the reason i get married is to have someone take care of me, isn't it kind of selfish? and the thought brings me to another thinking. if everyone gets married because everyone is doing it. what is the reason for those who get married then? to not to be lonely. for me, this reason is plain silly. if the reason of getting married is to avoid loneliness, i think you are in for the wrong reason.

i know some friends who just get into relationship because they cannot stand being alone =.= serious issue, my friend. i thought at some point in our lives, everyone deals with loneliness.

if the reason being for love, i am intrigued. how you know she is the one? in the first place, the eyes make the selection for you. she has to be of some eye catching and good figure. isn't it discriminating to others? your eyes already making the choice for you. so how can you tell me you love one if you are drawn physically to begin with. or is it because the experience that you have together is the thing that brings love into the picture. i think this is what most people define love as. it is what you do with the significant other. i believe those who fall in love with the eyes are plain shallow. haha.... i am actually shallow as well. the girl must be humourous, tall and beautiful. oh, it is better if she has no temper and is able to challenge whatever thinking i have and most IMPORTANTLY independent. i guess i am not asking too much, am i?

the blogger feels that the question is already answered with his current status. who needs a significant other? you just need to cope with the thought that if getting married is just another stage of life cycle without thinking the reason why, he believes it is more wrong than being single. have you wondered the life keeps existing and existing until...... when does the point stops? blogger thinks why bother thinking of dating if he is not thinking of marriage. it only complicates stuff.

movember

when i read this word, i started imagining one song on my head, "i like to move it, move it. she likes to move it, move it, and he likes to ....... MOVE IT". it makes me wanna watch a movie straight away. it is an animated film by dreamworks. if you still scratching your head, it is a movie full with animals. okay, you are able to figure it out, good for you. if not, too bad.

i have not misspelled the word. movember is a slang. it is a combination of the words "moustache" and "november". the word has a history. this is the month when men will keep moustache for a month. well, there is a cause for keeping it. it is to raise men's health issues, being prostrate cancer and depression. 2010 marks the year the event is associated with testicular cancer as well. personally, it is a great cause. besides, the men keep long beard and those who do will ask for sponsors to donate to the charities in keeping the moustache.

while i just read it for hobby, the sudden thought struck me, " i have not shaved since 1st november". maybe i should try asking for sponsors as well =) but then the thought of my cheapo friends who will most likely sponsor 1 or 2 cents put me off the idea instantly. for the fun of it, i will just keep it for a week. considering it is a study vacation week, i guess it is alright to appear scruffy. go movember!

oh, to add a sense of proud, movember is rooted from the koala-land, to be specific adelaide. it will not be right if i did not take part right? even for a week, that will be cool. next time i can tell others, i have taken part in movember for a week. =)

blogger is feeling a bit nervous. if i were to be in malaysia, there will be no movember because the blogger's mum will not tolerate such sloppiness. oh, for god sake, she is not going to know about this.

romanticism of the past

if i were to be granted a wish for a day. i would like to be back to the past. everything i like to do has to do activities that are deemed appropriate to the past. for one, i like reading newspapers with a cup of kopitiam coffee. wait, i mean i need to hold the papers on my hand and read until there are black stains on my fingers. i find it very fulfilling. *air of satisfaction.

Crystal ball, crystal ball, bring me to the past

whats more exciting to me is the thought of listening to the radio. who listens to the radio nowadays. me! haha... i think teenagers nowadays are so engrossed in shuffling their music on their ipod or mp3 or whatever gadget you have =.= and there are the only things i know. to be honest, i think i have the old spirit but a young body. i am attracted to things with historical value. i still recall my late grandma has a super old radio. and in my humble opinion, the radio holds more aesthetic value than a i phone 4 to me. truth to be told, the angry birds did pump my adrenaline rushing but at the end, the satisfaction is not so much to the music i listen through the squarish bulky musical box. so much for the gen y who likes everything instant, i like everything slow.

his grandma's radio looks something like this

telling that will entitled me the ah pek title. but still, i like the past more. even the music that plays through my ears are artists of 1980's. i think i am born 20 years late. i would be a very glad if one time in the future i can feel how the culture was back then. reading papers, drinking coffee at old kopitiam while the old radio plays the classical music of the trendy artists at that time. you heard of sammi cheng, theresa teng, abba and jambalaya? guess not, ohhh my classical favourite would be beyond. can i got to the past that was having their concert at that time. their generation is what i defined the birth of music. the music now is like crap to me. huh? love songs again? who is he/she again? why the artist is just well known for 1, 2 years? can you give me a reason? because people now listen with their eyes. they want to look at good looking people. their ears are blocked by the dance and the physical features. shallow. those who stand through the test of time are those who are veteran singers. you don't have to agree but i think you will not disagree with what i say. =)

i always feel bad if i din give a response when my friends tell me about how good this phone is, sophisticated that laptop is or how nice the place they visited. actually those things don't excite me a bit. just for response sake, i will say "ohhh.".  to me, embracing the culture of the place itself is more romantic then taking photos with the scenery as the background. yah, i dun fit in well. yet, people always tell me "khor chee seng, ni zhen de shi ke ai daooooooo.." not physically mind you, behavioural wise.

blogger wishing a time machine will just suck him up back to 20 years ago. ohhh mind you, the blogger writes greeting paper cards to his friends and send them by post. how retro, how romantic, how ironic it is now to do that. well, by clinching to the slightest element of the past gives him pleasure.

retro me. 

i never knew

har! must be you again reading my blog post. i thought the person reading it is a friend from macquarie, turns out to be a friend from sydney. apa lar..... i almost laugh hysterically for finding a fan out of nowhere. ok, if you found me, consider yourself lucky. i dun promote my blog mia. first reason, i talk bad about other people. second reason, if you read this, means very likely you will be praised or criticized to the core for being a good friend of mine.

luckily i din listen to a friend who specially requested me to remove my reader's location. if not, how to know who the person is jek? if i remove the application, i might turn this blog to a personal diary that i already have one. if you can read my public diary, so i can know who is reading it. isn't the feeling is mutual?

ohhh... to the old fan out there. *wave from chippendale NSW. i know u know where you live.

come let's play a game, an old friend of mine. since we never chat in our entire life on the blue wall and we rarely talk face to face . let's play a memory game. when is the first time we chatted and where was it held?

gotcha!

blogger signing to a day of a minor surprise.

bestie

how you know you have a bestie in life? one, the person is there for you happy and sad. but wait a minute, isn't your family or normal friends are there when you are happy and sad? i think the difference is you can pour your hearts out to your bestie. happy or sad. sampat or lame. this is what i think makes a bestie.

i once asked a friend, who is your bestie? she said, there is no such thing as bestie. the reason is she categorise them according to what she does with every single friend. i was impressed at the moment. categorising friends according to activity huh? so i should categorise my friends to puak kiao kui, dam jiak kui @ yao kui, badminton   kaki and yam cha ghosts huh? that will be funny. i am particularly like yao kui besties because i love to search for good food. though it might be fun to eat good food, the sense of taste is definitely heightened if there is a bestie to talk to you.

come to think of it, i can say i have a lot of yao kui friends. what to do? i am born in malacca so it is hard to disintegrate us from food. but i can say i am not really that yao kui. i am not that yao kui actually. i like to eat a lot of food BUT in small portion. the thought of me leaving sydney soon gives me such a sense of nerve. because i was thinking, do i left anything uneaten before heading back home? haha. deep down i think i am just another yao kui of another kind.

two, bestie is those who know what you think before you know it yourself. wow, this must be pretty amazing. but i think this one sure to fulfill. sometimes, when i do such, a friend say, i know you will do like that. i was like @.@ i just thought of doing it a while ago and you already know. you must be the little worm in my stomach huh?

three, a bestie stands by you whether you are right or wrong. wow. ini i cannot accept. if the bestie is good, he will tell you the truth that you are wrong. so, thats make me a good friend. i dun tell lie. haha although my truth might be wrong. so it is a risk you have to take if you choose to believe me.

fourth, they will talk to you when you need it. eh, this one i think quite easy to fulfil. talk only ma, i can do it anytime. a friend complained i only have 10mins for her. i got exams ma. 10 min is better than 10 seconds to tell you bye and give excuse right right?

ohhh, the last one which is my favourite of all. it is best depicted using a pic:

i guess i am pretty crazy. thank you. this i admit i lack in. 

blogger wishing you a good day. he is wondering who he should go if next time he feels like crying. i guess there is one.

the end.

today should be noted as a memorable day. it marks the end of my journey as an undergraduate. with the end of my 11am marketing lecture, i have no more lecture and tutorial to attend. exams are coming real soon. i can't really say it is the end because exams still have to be faced.

this semester is quite a memorable one. the subjects are interesting yet challenging. tax is one which requires extensive amount of reading. i felt that i have read so much for a subject before. credit should be given because the subject is structured in such a way that is easy to understand for students. i am mesmerized by the fact that australia has one of the most efficient tax system. it is complex yet efficient. with the new introduction of carbon tax, i wonder how this will rock the corporate bodies but one thing on my mind, it will be long before malaysia will be able to catch up. i guess malaysia, being a developing country has no such capability in implementing carbon tax yet. with so many cases to read and understand. my eyes are going @.@ no complain though. more  captivating than the subject itself is the lecturer. his name is brett bondfield. despite his extensive experience in law, his choice of expletive word is limited to one f word. every now and then, you will be bombarded with the word. though not directing it to us, some find it offensive. i find it amusing. one, because i thought lecturer is not allowed to use such word. two, perhaps, i am wrong. third, he is wrong but nobody dares to challenge him.

marketing proves to fall below expectation. i am not referring to academic wise, but i expect more. for me, marketing is more than just theories, it goes beyond every way possible to captivate the audience. for being a commerce subject, marketing is strongly linked to sales. initially, my idea of marketing is about spreading a message. it can be for media cause, business cause or cultural cause. i am more attracted to commercial because if you have money, your budget allows you create mind blowing ads. for me, a great ad is orgasmic ( a word which i learn from a dear friend). haha. she will know when she read this. why the hell is it orgasmic? is it because of satisfaction? because of pleasure? or because of flushes? haha....wait, i am going too far. balik, balik. back to marketing. in my opinion, if i were to given a choice, maybe i will do marketing as a living. imagine, you are the marketing director for mercedes benz, google or apple. must be pretty cool huh?

blogger signing off. this is just a beginning of something new. embrace it as it comes.

have you been inspired?

when was the last time you feel inspired? i think i kinda lost that for quite some time. during school years, my inspiration usually came from my beloved teachers. i think teachers place a lot of trust in me. not for me to do well but for being responsible.

i was monitor myself since standard 1. did i project a responsibility face? not sure though but i kinda like the idea of lepaking the time to remind teacher about classes and to carry books. as the distance is quite far, i like to derail from the short path and take the long one to skip class. haha. misuse of trust. shhhh....nobody knows anyway. and i still remember i can always skip classes because  i have to help my class teacher to prepare decorations such as chalking and ballooning. i guess i have been trained to do art works since young. but then, the real perks are having to escape classes or you can say being forced to skip class. i am sorry to say that my standard 1 class teacher passed away years ago due to cancer. i still remember her, pn mak lai ying. but to be honest, although i admire her art skills, i admire her more for her dictatorial punishment. a case in point, she will use her hand and slap your head if you din do homework or being noisy in class. trying to that now, i think you will be faced with red letter from school management.

then there is pn mariani, this one is the special of all. a malay teacher who watched hong kong drama. thinking back, i din feel weird for a teacher to watch hong kong drama. and the weirder thing is i will tell her the story again if she skipped the drama on the previous day. hence, rather than doing my homework, i would spend my time drama telling to her during standard 3. no wonder i have story telling skill. to put matter more interesting, there is mr cheong koon peng whom loved to give english story telling after his teaching. i anticipated his classes the most. his intonation and gesture left us, the students laughing hysterically. all of these to me are very memorable. i think this what all teachers should do. incorporate human element into teaching is a fun way of learning. once, he drew a big snake swallowing a boy in a stomach. i am 22 now and i was 9. the special thing: i can still remember it so well as if it were yesterday.

such reasons drive me to school everyday. you dun have to convince me to school, i want to go. and comes standard 6, another special individual appears. she came early year of Year 6 period. teaching BM, she turned my failed karangan level to an A. *bow. she was very dedicated. i often wonder why she paid special attention to a normal student like me. in my humblest opinion, must be my non-stop talking attitude after classes hours. all teachers i believe took note of that especially, pn mardiah. she made an announcement during assembly that our class is non human, more like chickens. talking non stop. i think wherever i go, the label goes with me. i shall say that is my greatest achievement ever during primary school. ohh, did you know, i received a slap from pn mardiah as well. why? because we, the bunch of fools, got so excited that the Le tour Langkawi passed by our class and we cheered enthusiastically. she came in and asked us to get out. one by one, faces became red. most ganas teacher alive. poor friends, some received twice. if i remember correctly, i din shout for that lame le tour langkawi =.= innocent boy.

talking about innocent, i believed i was always misunderstood. once, pn tan guat peng threw out my exercise book for not having completed my homework. i was like =O. i did! that was correction which she requested. she smiled after that. very funny is it? to be embarrassed then get smiled later.

life for me during primary school is like a roller coaster. up and down. up and down. but the thing is: i love riding roller coaster. the level of anticipation is unknown till you feel it at the moment. do you love riding a roller coaster?

the ups and downs in life is what makes my life rocks

blogger feels inspired again =) in which the reason he will tell some other time in the future when he looked back like now.

health is part of our lives

a casual evening demands me to go for a read at the health's section. it is crucial that everyone takes care of oneself. the reason is nobody is going to take care of you other than yourself. you can brush it off by saying you have a family member who will take care of that but it is better to be independent. afterall, it just takes a few simple changes.

the topic is food that is beneficial to your body. and i thought i have been smart when i started eating celery. celery used to be one of the not-to-eat list of food. it tasted a bit bitter and like medicine. then, i took notice when a writer said that celery is good for the body. i have forgotten for what reason, but i begin eating it until it becomes part of my favourites now. then, last week, i read the times magazine. it covers the whole section about food by one DR OZ. you know who is him? he is very famous in australia for having a talk show. i watched it once and it is really informative. he doesn't try to sell you any product but encourage the viewers to use natural remedy. one thing i learn for men is if you want to get rid of smelly feet, soak your feet in the pail of water with tea bags. according to him, this will draw moisture out of your feet and thus you will not sweat the following day.wow! logical and useful, isn't it? but being a cheapo, who wants to waste the tea bags, i will rather wash my socks more frequently.

ohhh, back to the article. there is this particular section which i hate. it states there broccoli is a must have vege in your life. wth? of all the veges in the world. some say it is very sweet. huh? is my sense of taste gone haywire or i am hallucinating while biting the hard and tasteless vege? according to DR OZ, it is believed that broccoli strengthens the liver and helps the detoxification system. besides, fibrous content in broccoli helps you to stay full longer without the need to chew more food later. noted! it is time to change my diet. the first thing is to go to coles supermarket and snap the vege. any idea how to cook it?

i found this quote in my blue wall and would like to share it here. i find the saying is true but i question whether the dalai lama really speaks in such a way.

blogger wishing everyone good health. eat more broccoli. off to oink oink session. 

under the weather

due to hot weather, i am sick. i was wondering what makes me to vulnerable to sickness these days. last time i seldom fall sick. must have been my recent over snacking. time to stop buying them. exams are coming soon. resting the whole day. =S

time to rest. 

quote of the day

only friends who can make you laugh will have friends who will cry with them

inevitable change

some point in our lives, change is inevitable. it is once said that the only thing that is constant is that things change. while i experience changes during my teen years, i din realise it until friends start pinpointing my change during form 5. they said i used to be snobbish. am i? i just seldom talk to new people i just know. thats all. i am shy, not snobbish. if i tell my friends i am shy now, they will laugh at me. you? shy? that puts the adjective word to disgrace. i am. if only you can remember when you first met me, you will know i will seldom make conversation. i usually observe. but i become very friendly easily once i know you and daring. yes, i am quite daring in challenging my friends' boundaries. to irk someone is my hobby. thats the reason i always have silent argument with friends. only through argument that we know each other better right?

while it is not my position to comment on others' boundaries, that doesn't mean i agree though. for me, i am more lax on the boundary. once, i played a prank on my good friend and he got angry. so, we din talk for one whole school day. then i asked another friend, she actually agreed with me that you are not really overboard if the friend treated you as a good friend that is. hmmm..... so we din talk la. why talk, because things get better when time passes. turns out my friend is more forgiving than i thought he is. the question on my mind is: do i really need forgiveness for my action? if i did remember correctly, i din apologise it the end and the event just passed as if it never happen.

i am completely at times to be misunderstood. if i believe what i did is not too much, i dun think i will admit my mistake. thats why people say i am stubborn. ohh wait, i am stubborn now huh? people moan that if i standing on the opposite view, they are bound to have a great argument. one, i dun step down. two, i speak loudly. they got cuak i think. haha XD. this is not a tactic, my dear friends. this is an indication of passion. no hard feeling. why indulge in a discussion if you just want to stand on the middle fence. so not fun.

yesterday, i went for the diwali night. i was talking with a few friends. one is particularly new, whom i just know for one year but we rarely meet each other as she is of from different university. when i joked with her, she commented, " i felt that we have known each other for a very long time". i replied, is it a bad thing? another laughter. through years, i begin to let things go bit by bit. she said i am like her friend, tupai. i told her, i am not tupai, i am musang. yea, i think people always say being around me brings a sense of familiarity.  i guess i can be pretty good nature and funny if i want to.

but maybe it is a good thing afterall. being friendly is better than snobbish? i just dun talk that much last time. and once i talked, it is hard to control me. the form teacher always complain, why you talk so much? yes, teacher, i love to talk? so? i have good friends who i always talk to during classes. but during form 2, everyone is just way too serious. chill guys, we need to talk to release tension. i love geography but i dislike the teacher. she always talk in the poor malay that i cannot understand what she is trying to say. i can remember one thing, she complimented tulisan saya sangat kemas. that i admit is one of my great point. i guess technology ruins it. nobody will notice anyway.

blogger is thinking maybe change is inevitable. he was pondering with the idea of giving up some important belief.

be home for dinner

i was watching the drama about family which the father is a food critique. but he will always be home for dinner. the thought suddenly brushed through me. seems like i have missed a lot of family meals since i came to sydney. then, when i headed back home during summer, i seemed to have lost the value of family meal. last summer, due to my infrequency of reaching home on time, i always ate alone. still, my mum will come into the kitchen and talked to me how my day has been. i think my mum dislike the idea of one having to eat alone. but i forgot to tell her this is how i have been through for the last 2 years here. i think somehow she understood back then. when i called home, she always tell me that she had just finished cooking and asked me whether i want a share. of course i do.

i guess this is the challenge facing everyone studying abroad. having dinners and lunches facing the laptops. i hope everyone still remembers the value of eating together with families, not just during chinese new year. eating together not only brings everyone together and definitely not a waste of time. even during high school years, i like to eat while watching tv and my mum will give me the stare. i was like, "i am hungry de, cannot wait." somehow, i did escape the stare there. for compensation i will just drink the soup during real dinner time. the thing is sometimes i love to eat with my siblings more because we can laugh and eat at the same time. but sometimes, when everyone is busy, such time is hard to passby.

this post is just a friendly reminder that appreciates one's meal with family member. you never know how much the value of it until you begin missing it.

ohh yeah!

if you read my previous post, i was all hype about my malaysian society's achievement for that day. we have submitted three nominations for our club for the category of best club under 100 members, best major event and best joint major event. turned out that we are invited to join the awards night because we are finalist for some of the categories. i have this nervous and excited feeling for the first time for my club because this c&s awards night is important to us similar to grammy awards for musicians and emmy awards for actors and actress.   hence, being listed as finalist really puts our malaysian society club out there for people to know us. let me tell you that c&s is run by USU (University of Sydney Union) and overall, USU oversees 200 clubs for the whole university. so it is huge and very competitive.

with our predecessors having won the best club for under 100 members and best performing arts event for mamak night, the pressure is on us to continue their legacy. tension is running high. excitement level spikes up to the roof for 14 of us. when they announced they we actually won highly commended event for "mamak night'. i almost shouted. but we did not win but we appear as the top two event for major event. the winner goes to chinese cultural event by another club. the thing is they have so much support that i think being independent on our own, mamak night is very successful as well. their selling point was lion dance, games, food, chinese culture and famous officials attending the event. we, on the other hand has musical performers, malaysian trivia quiz, mamak night culture and malaysian consulate. so, i should say we are very closely tied.

i co-chair the event with my partner, alya. i was happy that although we din win, at least we put up a good fight for it. we spent a lot of time,energy and effort to make it a success. i am in charge more on entertainment and food preparation besides being the emcee for the event. looking back, i think winning this doesn't really matter but the highly commended title did put sugar icing on top of the sweet memories i will always have for the event.

another new event that our club held is mooncake festival. this event is a collaboration with other four clubs from other uni. and it won highly commended event for major joint event. i was like wow. we are really good eh? this came as a surprise as i had no expectation for this event. again, being the cultural director, i was the co-chair and emcee for the event as well. although we did not win the overall category, we came in second. still, it is a new achievement that has brought us to greater heights. 

and i think i can be proud to say that i have achieved something in my university. event management is definitely one of my key skill now. and even my job interviewer agrees that organising an event will sharpen one's time management. i will say, "yes, it really does." not only does it pushes you to the limit, you must think during at the limits. hmmm. a great experience i would say. besides, our club is the finalist for best club under 100 members but we did not win. ohhh well. winning and losing is part and parcel in life. my president was apologizing to us committee members for letting us down. but i said, you did not let us down. all the memories, friendship and dedication are not wasted. we have definitely grown. winning is sweet but learning is the best thing one could get out of this. 

blogger feels that the reason for both the events winning the "highly commended' title is because he was the emcee for both the events. he joked with his current president that next time, they should consider hiring him for 100 dollars per hour for emceeing the event. and his president brushed it off by saying the payment would be higher than selling backside on the street of sydney. thats the highlight that made his day. he made the blogger laughed non stop for a while there. 

i am so excited

my excitement is super high right now. maybe because i am so happy that i can't sleep. haha. tell you the reason tomorrow because i have to force myself to sleep as there is a early class tomorrow.

are you of any good?

with my secured employment comes more question now. should i work or should i study? let's weigh the pros and cons. because inside my head, there is a lot of things going on now. i need to segregate them accordingly.

first, let's talk about work. actually working is not bad, i get to do with quite a prestigious company to begin with. i will be most likely part time studying, part time working in order to get my accreditation. the thing is, i have consulted a senior working in that similar company now. he told me. the job is very demanding. long hours  , little time to spend with family and little time to study. occasionally, he was denied leaves which he entitled due to understaffed problem. what is good is the remuneration is good. your pay is sometimes double with allowance. plus, i do not waste my time researching for a topic which i might not use in the future. besides, one year is enough for me to jump a position ahead. graduating a year late will be fine just not career wise. the plus point is auditing is a very marketable profession after a few years. i can literally go anywhere i like. in addition, i may apply overseas job through transfer. also, i can learn more by putting longer hours in work. i dun mind working OT actually, just that i am a little worried about not having time for studies.

second, should i stick to EY now after considering the pros and cons. my senior told me banks offer the same benefits besides going back on time. and banks will have more holidays. and i can do accreditation papers with them as well. and i heard the starting salary is higher but unsure about transferable skills to other industry. besides, i will be stuck with banking. banking is actually my second option after transaction services. do i work for the money or do i work for the interest?

besides career options, i have to think about honours. finance or accounting. finance is harder more interesting but accounting is easier less interesting. wth, just when i thought i have no hope for accounting honours, a senior lecturer email me to encourage me to apply. =.= (perfect timing).

with so many uncertainty, i am going to apply for everything. and after that, i will decide what i want to do after going back to Malaysia in January. spent time thinking about uncertainty is so not beneficial. rather than worrying, i can pass through the sea waves of uncertainty by flying using the aeroplane. when offers come, then i will pick and choose. who knows, i will only have one option at last. the thought of throwing coin comes to my mind today, i secretly hope what i want. i am just too scare to admit what i want. because there is another programme blocking me: TAP (public service with government which cannot be rejected). the chance is 20%. sometimes, being unlucky is a lucky thing.

yes

the job interview today was more casual than i expected. as the interviewer had studied in sydney before, i feel like i am updating her on the current malaysian society as well beside talking about myself. she was very interested with mamak night to begin with. then, it proceeded with collaborations with other society. i can safely said 50% of the time is about how i manage my society stuff. pretty good since i know my society well.

next came the internship part. personally, she liked the idea that i have to do more for my internship judging from her tone of voice. hmmm...maybe the pace of my speech has already revealed my interest along the way. the funny thing is she almost agree with what i said. well, a good sign.

i thought i blown out the interview because there is this question which i did not expect but i answered it uniquely. it begins with, "what are your parents expectation of you?". i said, " no expectation. because i am very stubborn. they know that i will not listen to them but follow my own heart". after the speech came out of my mouth in such a nonchalant way, i was like, ' did i do that to impress or did i just do that to fail my own interview". turns out she was fine with the idea that i need to have an interest in things i do. i think, for myself, i am pretty certain what i want. so that scores me a bit of points.

and the next question also came out of the blue but i think i did pretty well. "in your past application, you mentioned no other firms replied you for internship and you are with EY. now, i dun think other firms will interview you considering most of them have left sydney already. and yet, now you are with EY. why ar? i replied, "i must be fated to work with EY".

the place i attended interview today. cool right? yeah, i think it is cool too. 

with that, i guess her laughter has sealed my victory. i was often more surprise with myself for coming out with such an answer at times. trying to tell other firms it is fate, it will not work. but telling her this must be fate must be working well. ohh, btw, i got the job.

random

sometimes, it is hard to deny that life can be completely random. maybe, i have been in touch with finance stuffs that often touch upon random work of the financial data, my life today turns out similar to the finance stuff.

today i went for a talk by sponsor. they actually wanted to introduce new models for scholars. one, which i am particularly intrigued is the ability to transfer our bond to private corporate firms. thats good to hear. at least this option would allow me to do the job which i am interested in. after sailing through the sea of uncertainty, i find an interest in my career path. i dunno since when i develop the interest but it just came. luckily quite an early one. i wanna do transaction services.

so, after the talks, i approached a lady from a corporate company i interned with. she immediately told me to go for interview tomorrow, which correctly stated today at 9am. i was like. thats interesting. i was thinking, do i have to prepare for anything? clothes? academic transcripts? speech preparation? everything checked except for the last one because i dunno what to say. let the randomness of the day handles it.

looks quite dark though. 

i also must thank a person today. one guy found my usb and called me to tell me about my usb hanging precariously on the desktop in university's study center. thats how i end up jogging to university at 1130pm. talking about random, this is one is a funny yet memorable experience. when i walked back, i decided to take it slow. maybe it has been fated that i need to have a calm and peaceful walk at night to university. i have been to hasty in living that i forget to live. do you know the moon is full today? and i just re-realise again how beautiful my university can be.

thats how random plays the life of the blogger on 11 October 2011.

i was a bad friend

yesterday, before i shut my eyes, i kinda felt that it has been since such a long time i chatted with my school friends (mr khaw aside because he is having holidays so tiap tiap minggu chat dgn dia). the rest just give me a fuzzy memory of last time chatted. then suddenly, miss A came along to complain about her current undergoing education. seriously, a HUMAN needs 7 hours of sleep. you are robotic. so i can't compare with you. she was telling me how sometimes academic stuff gave her such a blow to her confidence. yeah, me too at times.

but if you think more closely, at the end of the day, the employers won't really just look at your academic results. being active in non-university stuff is helpful. because employers might be interested in your networking skills as well. although personally i disagree with using the word such as networking, i participate in society because i am sociable animal. while i like to chat with others, i do not like to use friendship card in order to climb up my career path, hopefully. some say, nah, it is part and parcel of life. really? you use friend in your daily life? 

i can't deny that some friends are what i call user-friendly friends. they only appear when you have a value. sometimes, i can feel that another friend is just being used. and the thought of speaking out is too kpc. hence, i decided to write. i usually shy away from such people. remember, user friendly person is not what i call friend. they are just there sometimes. someone ask me, how you know they are like that? easy, when they talk, the conversation has no substance and more often than not, always ask for help without much return. i feel bad for telling this, but i think people like this will go very far in life. one, because they will be more likely to be CEO or business owners. two, because they know when to ask for help. 

but, do you remember what is the purpose of your existence? climbing so high for what, if all you get is money and power. it seldom brings happiness. at the end of the day, you want people close to you to share the joy with you. 

ohh, back to miss A's case. the employer will also look at your personality as a whole. i keep hearing this comments from lecturer and friends. they say they can roughly guess which company (big 4) you belong to based on your personality. ohh really? seems to be if a company hires me, most likely they have a lot of smiley employees . =) a good thing. some people really never smile one. i dun understand why but i am not going to comment much on this. personality case is too hard to observe. ohh yeah, miss A. i think you will do fine. you will complain all the way to SUCCESS. and please remember me by the time you attain success ok? belanja me go eat good food ke, europe trip ke? 

there is a saying, if you worry too much about the destination, you will forget the joy of the journey. i am not a bad friend, am i? see, i spend half an hour dedicating this to you. next time, i will try to give you 10.5 minutes for chatting ok? haha XD

blogger feels that he wants to maintain his good friendship with everyone but there is an enemy who doesn't allow him to do so: TIME

smiley =)

a friend recently commented that she cannot judge the expression on my face. the reason: i keep smiling all the time. is it a bad thing to be smiling all the time? i smile because there is a saying, if you smile to others, the world will smile back to you. i guess they forget to add that but people can't read your facial expression.

ohhh, the photos have been uploaded. haha. i am a learner for that day. pretty fun because they let us use alcohol. so it somehow lightened up the whole learning experience. the guy who taught us is very friendly. he taught us before cooking. you must exercise your hand. do you know how the wave move? swerve and swerve. so make your hand like a wave. interesting.

here you go. the rest of my big face.

teka dia siapa? ohhh wait, the  signboard  gives away the answer

looking good before chop, chop, chop

the friendly fernando

ahhh, this is the one i wanted to show you guys. cool right?

must try ice cream muffin. sedap!

see, the photo taken. my photography skill must be impeccable. oopsss. self praise  =)

blogger signing off for a great week ahead, hopefully.

ohh....it is live!

a jog with a friend turned out to be more fruitful than i thought. the normal anticipation would be able to sweat and have a chat with my friend. little did i know i was offered a free ticket to attend....... oppss. let the photos do the talking.

entrance and cheeky class =)

they are so thoughtful. kiddie knives

Maggie!

so many sauces just for a bread.

must try this! awesome

sparkling jucies

cheeky food class

 it was such an eventful day. it was sunny. the bus driver was kind enough to point us towards the venue. at first, i din know such an event exist in masterchef. it is called masterchef live. everyone is able to get into the event by purchasing a ticket (i got it for free, mucho gracias). the event has a lot of food and drink tasting. i tasted bread, wine, sparkling juice, pizza, pies and lots lots more. by the time, i finished tasting, i literally skipped lunch all the way. i also signed up for a cooking lesson with cheeky food class. photos were taken but it is still with my friend. will update on you soon. it was really cool.

i get to eat,drink and learn. i told my friend, "this is must be my event of the month". just when i thought my weekend is going for a boring watch videos and dramas one. this masterchef live took my breath away. one more reason for loving sydney *wink. ohhh yea, maggie, you saw that pic of maggie beer. the sparkling juice is awesome. i tried the sparkling ruby chardonnay. highly recommended. i din know maggie beer is actually a person's name.

blogger signing off. till i get hold onto the pics of me while cooking. till then, adios amigos.

you didn't know, did you?

there is this article which pops out in the facebook saying my friend has read it. interesting. it is about the elite uk universities which ban students who undertake certain subjects in A level. while it is not surprising, the universities are doing this out of disclosure. they keep it hidden. this causes some students from public schools who score well are not offered a place to further studies. really? why do people always complain over such small matter? inequality exists everywhere. and it is always the poorer who will be marginalized. you want to know why, private schools which students pay to enrol are often of good background families. of course there is a tendency for universities to accept "good-behaviour and well to do" students.

stop complaining and suck it up. there is no such thing as being poor will entitle you to equality. the only thing that rules the world. the alphabet appears on the superman chest and double vertical line across. nobody ask you to be freaking poor. haha. funny, don't you think so?

if i can collect a dollar for everytime i heard a friends who complain they are poor, most likely i will be quite loaded by now. i am always feel insulted when my friends moan that they are poor. you din know what is the feeling of being poor, did you? do you worry about your school fees? do you worry that your parents have enough money to celebrate cny? and you might never want to join others for visiting because your mum always tell you about financial problem? have you heard of that before? and you associate poor with tears? you don't? that's weird the last time i check you said you are poor.

i always find it an insult when a friend told me he/she has no money or is poor. you are kidding me right? if you are poor, what makes me then? a beggar? or the lowest poor category you can put me into. my friend thought i am well to do because i dun complain. let me tell you the difference, if you are so used to being fucking poor, you stop complaining and suck it up. if you never know the definition of poor please stop using them. do not insult people who know when to use it but choose not to. thats why i seldom talk about money. but i will tell you one thing: i hate being poor and that is not my own doing.

i find it amusing when friend say no la, my parents are not rich and they have a double storey house and two cars parked in the porch. and they laugh about it. i din know discriminating poor people can be so funny. so, stop talking about equality. such word is not supposed to exist in this world. just live with it. and if you think you have heard about how poor people are living, you are far from knowing the whole definition of poor. it is just half of it. yeah, i think i am poor and just refuse to say it because i hate being in that state. and i am desperate to be rich but i am being sick in such a state for so long.

why i dun tell friends, because nobody believes anyway. no point in convincing people who are disillusioned about the real meaning of the word.

i still remembered very deeply. when i tell my teacher i have financial problem and need the school scholarship, she doesn't believe me. i was thinking, " what should i do to prove i am? should i cry? should i just forget about it?" i was quite infuriated because i know deep down there is a friend whose father works as an assistant manager and he can forge the pay slip and the teacher took his word for it. what about me? my father doesn't even qualify for a pay slip. and he gets the scholarship too. fine, deep down, i know there is no point telling the teacher this because i find no merit in telling the truth at all. i was so thankful that in the end, pn noraini took my word for it. and i have observed this for quite sometime, teachers always thought parents of A class students are rich. that doesn't mean everyone is.

it is one thing to be poor and it is another thing to be ashamed to be poor. whatever it is, since i have moved on to the point of not thinking about it, i will be fine. next time, if you want to tell your friend that you poor, please do check you really have gone through poor state. usage of wrong vocabulary is tolerable but insulting a friend is a different case.

blogger feels that being poor has its perks: you experience insult, shame and worry all at the same time. then he is so expressionless that even emo is not a suitable to describe. thus comes the now him: thick-faced, proud and happy =)