inevitable change

some point in our lives, change is inevitable. it is once said that the only thing that is constant is that things change. while i experience changes during my teen years, i din realise it until friends start pinpointing my change during form 5. they said i used to be snobbish. am i? i just seldom talk to new people i just know. thats all. i am shy, not snobbish. if i tell my friends i am shy now, they will laugh at me. you? shy? that puts the adjective word to disgrace. i am. if only you can remember when you first met me, you will know i will seldom make conversation. i usually observe. but i become very friendly easily once i know you and daring. yes, i am quite daring in challenging my friends' boundaries. to irk someone is my hobby. thats the reason i always have silent argument with friends. only through argument that we know each other better right?

while it is not my position to comment on others' boundaries, that doesn't mean i agree though. for me, i am more lax on the boundary. once, i played a prank on my good friend and he got angry. so, we din talk for one whole school day. then i asked another friend, she actually agreed with me that you are not really overboard if the friend treated you as a good friend that is. hmmm..... so we din talk la. why talk, because things get better when time passes. turns out my friend is more forgiving than i thought he is. the question on my mind is: do i really need forgiveness for my action? if i did remember correctly, i din apologise it the end and the event just passed as if it never happen.

i am completely at times to be misunderstood. if i believe what i did is not too much, i dun think i will admit my mistake. thats why people say i am stubborn. ohh wait, i am stubborn now huh? people moan that if i standing on the opposite view, they are bound to have a great argument. one, i dun step down. two, i speak loudly. they got cuak i think. haha XD. this is not a tactic, my dear friends. this is an indication of passion. no hard feeling. why indulge in a discussion if you just want to stand on the middle fence. so not fun.

yesterday, i went for the diwali night. i was talking with a few friends. one is particularly new, whom i just know for one year but we rarely meet each other as she is of from different university. when i joked with her, she commented, " i felt that we have known each other for a very long time". i replied, is it a bad thing? another laughter. through years, i begin to let things go bit by bit. she said i am like her friend, tupai. i told her, i am not tupai, i am musang. yea, i think people always say being around me brings a sense of familiarity.  i guess i can be pretty good nature and funny if i want to.

but maybe it is a good thing afterall. being friendly is better than snobbish? i just dun talk that much last time. and once i talked, it is hard to control me. the form teacher always complain, why you talk so much? yes, teacher, i love to talk? so? i have good friends who i always talk to during classes. but during form 2, everyone is just way too serious. chill guys, we need to talk to release tension. i love geography but i dislike the teacher. she always talk in the poor malay that i cannot understand what she is trying to say. i can remember one thing, she complimented tulisan saya sangat kemas. that i admit is one of my great point. i guess technology ruins it. nobody will notice anyway.

blogger is thinking maybe change is inevitable. he was pondering with the idea of giving up some important belief.